Yui Miyamoto 
Author
Pairing
Rating
Subject
Disclaimer: Furuba isn’t mine.Music Without Words
Chapter 2 – Subete. (Everything.)
After a while, Yuki calmed
down, but the rain hadn’t. I was still holding onto him when he tried to wipe
his tears away from his face while he tried to smile at me. I watched him with a
smile on my own face as he told me, “I’m sorry for making you come out in the
rain.”
I whispered harshly into his ear, “Shut up. You know I would have
come out even if it was a snowstorm out here.”
He began to laugh as he
said, “Ah, Haru. That’s what I love about you. You’re so honest to me, and you
never hesitate to tell me what’s on your mind.”
I just continued to look
at him without a word.
If you only knew how dishonest I was, then you
wouldn’t look at me this clearly as you are now, Yuki. You would get upset with
me, I know you would.
“I think I better get back home,” he told me as he
was about to get up.
I wouldn’t let him go home like that though. I shook
my head and I told him, “I can’t let you go until I know you’re all right,
Yuki.”
“I am all right,” he told me as he looked straight into my
eyes.
I stared at him just as intently as I answered, “Then why are you
smiling at me like you’re going to cry?”
He closed his eyes while smiling
at me, but when he opened his eyes again, a bunch of tears came out also.
“Haru…”
At that, I just sighed and put one hand on the back of my head as
I got up. Then, I grabbed his hand and told him, “Well, I’m yours for the night,
so what should we do?”
I almost wanted to laugh. Embarrassing as it may
have been to myself, I wish that I could have said those words under different
circumstances.
Yuki didn’t say anything as I wondered what would I do to
comfort him without worrying about my test. “We can’t go back to the main
house.”
At this, Yuki began to shudder.
Akito…
Someday, I
will show you that you were wrong to make him your plaything…
Just
thinking about that makes me so pissed, but I remained calm for Yuki’s sake. So,
I looked from side to side wondering what to do as I just pulled him without him
protesting to holding my hand.
I felt like we were kids again when I
pulled on his sleeve and told him, “Yuki, tell me a story.”
Only today,
it was a different kind of story.
The one he wanted to tell…
And
the one I wanted to say…
They were things that may have broken both of
our hearts. Both for different reasons, and not to the extent that each would
feel them.
We checked into a hotel and I just about forgot about the test
by then trying to think that the makeup would be my best option now. At that, we
entered the room and I told him, “Take a shower before we both catch
colds.”
At that, Yuki slowly nodded his quietly and it drove me nuts on
how anyone, whoever they were, faced with the person or thing they love and
protect the most, they’re as weak as mush. It’s kind of stupid how love works
that way.
I could be in black mode and if you put Yuki next to me, I
would calm down if he smiled at me. Man, the day he would laugh because of
something, that would be the day I wish would be my last because I would die
happy.
I’m a sad individual with such little things to keep me happy,
huh?
I looked at the mirror before me while my clothes dripped water onto
the floor, but Yuki called me to come to the bathroom. Blushing, my eyebrows
almost touched one another as he took a shower beyond those sliding
doors.
My nose began to bleed as I saw his outline so I washed my face on
the sink while asking, “Yes, Yuki?”
“I told her yesterday,” he told me as
the shower continued to make its shh shh sound noisily. “While we were tending
the vegetable garden, I smiled at her and actually found myself telling her that
I loved her.”
I sat on the toilet bowl and turned away from the shower
while stuffing my nose with Kleenex.
“She told me that she loves me, but
not in that way.” He began to laugh. “I know I shouldn’t have done that. Maybe I
should have been satisfied with the way things were and kept all my feelings
inside, but I couldn’t go around the house without smelling the scent of her
hair while restraining myself from grabbing her from behind and hugging her to
tell her how much I loved her.”
I nodded silently knowing exactly how
that was. I always felt that way about you.
“But that’s not like you,
Yuki,” I replied. “If you didn’t tell her, you’d never live it down. And you
hate that.”
“Yeah…” he answered without anything else to say.
Then, he turned the shower knob and opened the door slightly to grab a
towel next to him. I pulled on the robe and handed it to him to as he blushed
while saying, “Um, thanks.”
I then took my shower and wrung out my
clothes along with his. I put them on the hotel hangers and opened the window to
help them dry, despite the fact that it was still raining.
As Yuki sat on
the bed drying his hair, I smiled melancholically as I stood before him and took
his fingers away from the white towel from his head. I began to dry his
hair.
A million things were running through my head as I did this, but
the only thing that I could feel was that I was frustrated for him and
myself.
We were both fools, but I couldn’t tell him any of my feelings,
afraid of making his wound bigger even if mine was already bleeding inside of
me.
“She…” he tried to say, but then he became incredibly quiet. Again,
he tried to tell me something and it finally came out. “She was the one who
showed me the world was beautiful.”
I nodded while dropping the towel to
one side. Then, I pushed my forehead onto his and closed my eyes while holding
his cheeks understandingly. “I know, Yuki. You don’t have to tell me.”
I
didn’t know what else to say to him. I couldn’t tell him things get better with
time because even if they did, there was still that lingering feeling. You would
love them through everything, despite whatever happened through all the
years.
I knew that.
How could I still be in this hotel room
looking at you and not know?
At that, I betrayed myself by a tear falling
from my eye.
“What’s wrong, Haru?” Yuki asked as I opened my eyes while
leaning back to watch him carefully.
“I’m mad at you, Yuki,” I honestly
told him.
He didn’t say anything as I continued, “How can you sit there
and tell me how much your heart hurts when you know how I feel about
you?”
“Haru…” he mumbled while still keeping his eyes on
mine.
“It’s because _you_ don’t understand.” I sighed as blinked at him
with another tear slipping from my eye.
“After all this time, you still
think it’s just a fascination or an admiration of you. But you don’t know how
much I’ve loved you since the day you told me I wasn’t a fool.” I still held
onto his cheeks while trying to search through his eyes. “I was. I became one
that day. And more so as we spent time together. And even more when I saw you
dance like an angel in that New Year’s banquet a long time ago.
“Even
until you now, even when you tell me you love Tohru while you’re breaking my
heart.”
“Rin will tell the world that she dumped me, but I tell you here
and now that she’ll never forgive me for saying that I couldn’t love her. I
would never learn to love her because Yuki is all I could think of.” Smiling
wistfully at him, I leaned forward to whisper into his ear, “Even if it’s not
the time or place, I want you to know, Yuki…even if you didn’t hear it from
other people…”
I then pushed him onto the bed while I told him
truthfully, “I love you.”
“Hatsuharu…” he said nervously as I kissed him
while pulling the tie of his robe. He closed his eyes as his lips kissed me back
while his hands tried to disrobe me.
Then, I whispered over and over into
his ear, “I love you, Yuki” while kissing him on every inch of his body as best
as I could while his hands intertwined into mine.
It still hurt
though.
Deep inside of me, even though I was finally making love to him
as I always wanted, Yuki was still in broken pieces with me also falling apart.
I was trying to protect him as best as I could, but was I doing the right
thing?
At that, I kissed him harder while he gasped for air as I turned
him over and went inside of him without permission. His hands kept on grabbing
onto mine tighter as the sweat on my forehead fell onto his back while I kissed
it.
Then, we collapsed onto the bed, he fell on top of me as I held onto
him as tightly as I could. His hands wrapped around me as I kissed him on the
forehead. With the blankets around us, I looked at his tired face and he smiled
back at me as best as he could.
“I don’t care whomever you’re with, or
whomever you fall in love with,” I whispered while running my hands through his
hair. “Just as long as you know who you are, Yuki, and that you’re happy. I know
I’ll always feel the same.”
“Why me, Haru?” he asked as his eyes looked
deeply into mine. “Why do you love me even if I can’t be honest with others
about how I feel? Even when I hate myself sometimes for being the way I
am?”
I hugged him even more as the rain poured outside through the
window. “I’ve loved everything because it was you, Yuki.”
When you
cry,
When you smile,
When you get angry,
When you
laugh,
I’ve always loved
everything…
Tsuzuku…
--
Author’s note: WAH~! Haru!!!! *
sniff, sniff *
I almost thought I was going to end it here, but then the
story was just beginning, now wasn’t it? Hmm…how to end this properly and with
satisfaction…
Uh oh…maybe this’ll be longer than I thought. I hope not.
Yui Miyamoto
Author
Pairing
Rating
Subject
