*action*
~thinking~

WARNING- Yaoi and slight Merian bashing

||KIDS!!! BE THE FIRST ON YOUR BLOCK TO OWN A DISCLAIMER KIT!!! Complete with lawyer, Constitution, Copyright stickers, and President Clinton’s Biography, “I Didn’t Do It!” *Dodges knives thrown at her* OH WHAT!?! IS HE HERE TONIGHT OR SOMETHING!?!?!||

The Day After

Duo- My heeeeaaaaadddd...

Quatre- Not so looouudd...

Trowa- I don’t see why you guys have to be such downers all of a sudden...

Duo- You’re just saying that ‘cause you got lucky...

Wufei- ... Go to hell...

Heero- Right... *puts down the Mrs.Butterworth he was drinking* On to the week’s agenda.

Wufei- We have an agenda?

Heero- ...We do now. Anyways, Duo, you’re supposed to infiltrate the Oz base thingy tomorrow while Quatre and I infiltrate a group-therepy meeting.

Duo- Do I haaavvveee toooooo?

Heero- ....Yes. As for the rest of you... Stay undercover.

Trowa- You mean sit around the house and get drunk off our asses again?

Heero- ...Yeah...

Quatre- No more alcohol! We’ve had enough torture...

Wufei- Some more than others...

Quatre- I know what would clear our heads!

Duo- What?

Wufei- A cold shower?

Trowa- I’m in!

H/D/Q- ......

Wufei- THIS close buddy.... *reaches for sword*

Quatre- Nunununo... A swim in the pool!

Heero- umm...

Duo- Yeah! With the high-dive!

Wufei- If it will rid me of this hangover...

Trowa- I’ll go.

Quatre- Great! ^_^ How ‘bout you, Heero?

Heero- ummm.... You guys go on ahead...

Duo- ..Heh?

Trowa- Shouldn’t he be saying ‘Mission accepted’?

Wufei- Maybe beer does kill brain cells...

Quatre- Don’t you want to spend time with me, Hee-chan??? *eyes start to water*

Heero- uhhh....

Wufei- What’s the matter?

Trowa- Yeah, you can tell us.

Heero- Wwweeelll...

Duo- What is it!?! OUT WITH IT, MAN!!!

Heero- *grrr...* I CAN’T SWIM, OK!?!?!

Q/D/T/W- O.O******

Quatre- Oh, Hee-chan...

Wufei- ...Excuse me for a moment. *Wufei gets up and locks himself in a closet. Hysterical laughter is heard for the next 3 minutes. Wufei comes out dignified, takes one look at Heero, smiles, and locks himself back in.*

Heero- ...

*Wufei returns some time later. Meanwhile, Duo and Trowa are sitting with their mouths open, staring... Always starring....*

Quatre- *glares at Wufei* Do you need a drink of water?

Wufei- No, actually. I’m quite refreshed.

D/T- o_o

Heero- .....

Quatre- Well don’t you worry, Hee-chan! We’ll help you learn! ^_^

Heero- Dear gods no...

Duo- >=) ... Oh yes.... We will have fun...

Trowa- >=) .. This should be most impressive...

Wufei- >=) .. Eeeeexcellent....

Quatre- See Heero? ^_^

Heero- o.o*

*We join our heroes at the side of the pool. Wufei is in black trunks with Trowa inching ever closer. Duo has ‘flaming’ trunks, Quatre has a Manly *cough* pink, while Trowa sports trunks with Trunks.... I’ll pause to let that set in.... Heero has green, of course, but something’s amiss...*

Heero- NO WAY!! I DON’T WANNA LEARN THAT BAD!!!

Quatre- But it’s how I learned to swim!!!

Heero- I AM NOT WEARING ORANGE FLOATIES!!!

Quatre- But they say ages 3 and up!!!

Duo- *snickers* heh heh heh... *a bullet whizzes by his head.*

Heero- *Lowers gun a little....* Any more smart asses out there?

W/T- O.O*

Quatre- I can see this isn’t working...

Wufei- I’m real proud you figured that out...

Quatre- Anyone else care to give a try?

Wufei- Ha! Floaties are for the weak.

Quatre- ....right.. Duo?

Duo- *looks up* Oh, I’m sorry. I’m still looking for my missing piece of earlobe.

Quatre- ..... Trowa?

Trowa- I’ll teach him. The only way I know how.

Heero- Heh?

Trowa- AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! *lets out a mighty squeal, er, yell*

Q/W/D- O.O

Trowa- *starts a running tackle at Heero*

Heero- WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!?!?

*Trowa makes contact with Heero’s abdomen, and the two are sent hurtling over the water. The next few seconds go by sllllooowwwwllllyyy....*

Quatre- Heeeeeeee......rrrrrooooooo!

Wufei- Trrrroooowww....er....

Duo- Myyyy....saaaaannnn....ddddwwwiiiiiccchhhh!

*Everythang speeds back up, and a splash is heard and formed, drenching Duo’s meatball sub.*

Q/W- ....

Duo- NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! WHY!?! OH WHY GOD!?!?! WHY NOT ME!?!? EVERYTHING AROUND ME IS DESTROYED!!!! NOOOO!!!! DAMN YOUUUU!!! NOOO!

*Trowa bobs back up to the surface, with Heero clasped to him, not letting go.*

Trowa- Get... Him... Off....

Quatre- It’s your own fault... *pulls them out with Wufei’s help*

Trowa- *Looks at Duo curled up in a fetal position, rocking back and forth.* What’s with him?

Wufei- He has a soggy sandwich.

Trowa- ...

Quatre- I prefer to think of it as mildly moist.

Heero- ...

Duo- Nooo... *sniffle* Why, oh why? *sob* Sister Hellen! I- I can see the light!

T/D/W/Q- ....

Duo- It’s s-so beautiful...

Heero- This can’t be a ‘good day’ sign...

*2 Hours later, the author pauses to watch Sailor Moon, Gundam, and DBZ. 1.5 Hours later, she returns.*

*It’s is 2 hours from where we left our boys. Duo has overcome the grief, and given Subby, the sandwich, a nice burial. Heero has dried off, and is sunning with Trowa & Wufei. Quatre, is conversing with Duo...*

Quatre- I still don’t feel right about it...

Duo- Oh c’mon! He hasn’t been in the water all day!

Quatre- Well... ok...

Duo- Great! *eeeeevil grin*

Quatre- oh dear... *follows Duo to where Wufei is sitting.*

Duo- So, Wuwu... How’s the water?

Wufei- *opens one eye* Don’t call me that, Maxwell. And I haven’t been in.

Duo- Oh, well we can fix that can’t we Q-man?

Quatre- ^_^ yep.

Wufei- o.O

*The Arabian and American pick up the Chinese boy and proceed to throw him into an icy cold pool.*

Wufei- INJUST-*SPLOOSH!*

Trowa- Those two are so dead...

Heero- That doesn’t surprise me.

Trowa- ...Wanna watch?

Heero- ....yeah

*Wufei come’s up looking pissed, with a laughing Duo & Quatre standing over him. Behind, the other two stare.... of course. What else do they ever do!?!*

Wufei- *smiles* Ok, ok... I admit that was pretty funny. Now help me out, will ya?

Quatre- Why certainly! *Grabs a hand like Duo*

Trowa- They’re gonna regret that...

Wufei- HA! STUPID BAKA’S!!! *Pulls in Quatre & Duo* YOU SHOULD KNOW I AM STRONG, AND WILL NOT BE CONFRONTED BY WEAK SNEAK ATTACKS!!!

*A raging water war of splashing and crap goes on. The following are excerpts from the feud.*

Wufei- DRINK PARTIALLY CHLORINATED WATER, MAXWELL!!

Quatre- OWW!!! WUFEI!! NO BITING!!!

Duo- HEY!!! WATCH WHERE YOU PUT THAT KNEE OF YOURS!!

Wufei- OW!! HE THWAPED ME WITH THE BRAID!!!

Duo- QUATRE!! GET OFF OF THAT!!!

Quatre- Oops...

Wufei- WHO’S SNEAK ATTACKING NOW, EH!?!?

*Wufei jumps out of the water with two pairs of swim trunks in his hands.*

Wufei- MUAHAHA!!! FREEZE YOUR GENITALIAR!!! FREEZE I SAY!!

Heero- ....That was mildly disturbing.

*Bing-bong*

Trowa- ....... Um, a doorbell?

Wufei- I’ll get it. *Hands shorts to Heero* Hold these.

Heero- o.O

Trowa- I’ll go too! ^_^ *Skips after Fei*

Quatre- Uh, Heero... A little help?

Duo- C’mon Heero!! Let us out, or I won’t be able to have kids!!!

Heero- The world would be a better place...

*At the front door. No, back door, it’s more secretive. Well, actually front door. Yep, front door. Stay with it.*

Wufei- Back up, Trowa...

Trowa- awww....dang...

Wufei- *Opens door* Hello can I-AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!! *slams door and presses full body weight on it*

Trowa- o.O* Uh, is something wrong?

Wufei- Um, no, no... It’s just, ah, lets go back to the pool and see how the, uh, others are doing... *drags Trowa off*

Trowa- Hey! There they are! *See’s all the other guys (now not 2/3 nekked...) standing in shock of Wufei’s scream*

Heero- Did he...

Duo- just...

Quatre- scream???

Wufei- *still backing away from the door* Me? Oh, gosh no! I mean, uh, I just-

*WHAM! The door crashes open to reveal Chinese woman with long hair and a blue dress.*

Wufei- AHHH!!! THE LITTLE WOMAN!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Woman- Oh there you are Wufei! It’s time to come home with your wife!

H/Q/D- ....

Wufei- EX-wife, onna.

Trowa- *eye twitches* w-w- wife....

Woman- Oh, but we can work it out Fei! *steps closer*

Wufei- *makes hex sign with fingers* BACK, SHE-DEVIL!!! BACK, I SAY!!

Trowa- W-w wife...

H/Q- ...

Duo- *snicker*

Wufei- STAY AWAY, MERIAN!

Merian- But Wuuuufeeeiiii!

Trowa- W- w- wife...

Quatre- I think Trowa might have an epileptic seizure...

H/D- *laughter*

Wufei- GOAWAYSTUPIDONNA!!!

Merian- Fine. Give me one good reason why I can’t have you. AND NONE OF THAT ‘YOU’RE AN ONNA AND I’M A GUNDAM PILOT’ SHIT!!!

Trowa- W- w- wife...

Wufei- uhhh.... cuz, umm... I, er.. ahh... heh heh... um...

Merian- I’m waiting Wufei...

Wufei- ~NOOO!! NOT HER!!! AAAHHH!!! SHE’S LETHAL WITH A ROLLING PIN!!!~ ummm... *looks around room. See’s a pissed Merian in front, Blushing Quatre to the left, laughing bakas behind, and Trowa to the right.* ~Oh lordy noo... I’m not going to forgive myself~

Merian- WELL!?! *Pulls rolling pin out of purse.*

Wufei- Eeep. ~Oh damn...~ I’m ummm... In love with someone else! Yeah!

Merian- Oh really? *smacks pin in her palm* They must not be as good as me to leave you alone...

Wufei- But, they’re, uhh... here!

Merian- *blink*blink* Where?

Wufei- *Stands straight up and pulls Trowa over and keeps his hand around Trowa’s waist.*

Trowa- W- w- wife.. *looks down* uhhh....

Q/D/H- ......

Merian- .... uhhh.... wait, NO!!! I REFUSE TO BELIEVE IT!!! YOU MUST PROVE YOURSELF, CHANG WUFEI!!!

Wufei- ~DAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL!!!~ Ok... *Goes all over Trowa like kids at a 5¢ candy store, or a fangirl at a GW convention, a priest over holy water, maybe yourselfs over a yaoi fic, or perhaps a computer nerd over MAC OS X...*

Trowa- DEAR GODS YES!!! *goes, er, more like ‘dives’ in...*

Heero- That’s proof if I ever saw it...

Duo- I think they’re going to get rug burn...

Quatre- Why don’t you do that to me anymore, Heero!?!

Duo- o.o

Heero- I thought you liked last night! *backs up so Wufei & Trowa won’t knock him over or roll on his feet*

Quatre- Good point, especially with the tounge thing and how you ben-

Heero- *ER-hem*

Quatre- ....Sorry ^_^*

Duo- Uh huh...

*Trowa and Wufei roll around on the floor for about 5 more minutes.... or, uh, more....*

Wufei- *gets up* Well, Merian. Do you believe me now?

Merian- Um, considering he’s still nibbling on your earlobe and neck, yes.

Wufei- Huh? *arches his back* uh... so Trowa is....

Merian- Well, I’ll be leaving now... *leaves in a storm of rattling dust and fireworks*

Wufei- *cough* well, thanks for going along with it, Trowa...

Trowa- ...with what?

D/H- T_T

Quatre- ...right, well, I’ll believe it’s time to go to sleep...

*The pilots all notice how sleeeeepppyyy they are and decide to go to bed. Or do they?*

*A braided person tiptoes down the hall.*

Duo- ~First obstacle: Get past Heero’s room.~ *tippy-toes* ~Dear gods let him and Quatre be having a very loud pillow fight...~

Quatre- HHHEEEEERRRROOOO!!!!

Duo- ~If that doesn’t make me queasy....~ *tiptoes to living room and gingerly steps past Trowa on the couch. On second glance, he notices, it’s just Trowa on top... and a pillow on bottom who is being called “Fei”*

Trowa- Feeeiiii....

Duo- .... ~You know what, I think I’ll take the back door.~ *Runs very quickly and hops on his motorcycle, or moped. Whichever you prefer.*

*The next morning, everybody is looking happy. VERY happy. Even Duo, who has a suspicious looking red jacked with him.*

Need I talk about Monday?

+*+Shall I talk of that awful day? Will Duo get his assignment done? Where’d Zech’s jacket go? What the hell is up with the group therapy? Is Trowa just stoned off his ass? Should I quit while I’m ahead? Who put the bop in the bop-she-bop? What the hell was I going to do with a can of tuna? All is up to you, fair reader, when you R/R!+*+

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