RYAN AND HIS NAVEL ACADEMY

So right about now, all four people that visit this website regularly are probably wondering, "hey, what's been going on with the Navel Academy since the 4th of July? Whatever happened to those bums?" Well boys and girls, I'll tell you! They pretty much decided that the time has come to throw in the towel, so until further notice the Navel Academy is done playing shows. Don't you worry, kids, there is still a glimmer of hope that they'll re-unite for round two of suck-a-palooza, you never know. But for now thanks to all the kids that helped out the Navel Academy and to anyone that ever saw us play and most of all, thanks to Bobby Gibbs, who made our entire existence worthwhile. And another bigtime thanks to everyone that ever hated us. It takes way more effort to really hate someone than to like them, and we appreciate you guys for going the extra mile. Woo!
And on that note, here's what all the members of the Navel Academy have decided to do with their lives:

Miranda is off pursuing her childhood dream: she now drives a shortbus, with one of those electric wheelchair lifts and everything.

Jessica decided to take to the wild sea and live the life of a pirate. Unfortunately, she didn't have a ship or a crew, or even know how to swim, so that didn't go well. She's dead now.

Jeremy abandoned the Navel Academy to move on to bigger and better things. Unfortunately, we don't know exactly what those are, as he's taken out a restraining order against everyone that's ever known the Navel Academy. We talk to his lawyer sometimes, though, he's pretty cool.

Nick finally went in for the sex-change operation he'd been saving up for. Unfortunately, the doctors told him the operation wouldn't be possible because Nick didn't have male reproductive organs to begin with. Anyway, he's a drag queen now. But not a very good one.

Jenn and all the rest of the minions? Yeah, they're all in prison.

And Ryan? Well, Ryan returned to his former job as a Victoria's Secret model.

The garage floor- NOT a place for fine dining.

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