i know 'fan' means for the fans... but 'dango' I don't know what that means.
gawd. this summer has been full of movies. i have never went to sooo many movies in my life! geesh!! so, if three pages isn't enough for all of you...here's at least one more...



Pirates of the Caribbean: the curse of the black pearl

Jack Sparrow: [looking at all the swords] Who makes all these?
Will Turner: I do! And I practice with them three hours a day!
Jack Sparrow: You need to find yourself a girl mate. Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you already found one, and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You're not a eunuch are you?
Will Turner: I practice three hours a day, so when I meet a pirate, I can kill it!

Barbossa: First, your return to shore was not part of our negotiations nor our agreement, so I must do nothin'. And secondly, you must be a pirate for the Pirate's Code to apply, and you're not. And thirdly, the Code is more what you'd call "guidelines" than actual rules. Welcome aboard the Black Pearl, Miss Turner.

Mr. Gibbs: Then, on the fourth day, he roped himself a couple of sea turtles and made a raft.
Will Turner: He roped himself a couple of sea turtles.
Mr. Gibbs: Aye. Sea turtles.
Will Turner: What did he use for rope?
Jack Sparrow: [from beside them] Human hair. [pause]
From my back.

Norrington: No additional shot nor powder, a compass that doesn't point north, [looks at Jack's sword] and I half expected it to be made of wood. You are without a doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of.
Jack Sparrow: But you have heard of me.

Jack Sparrow: Stop blowing holes in my ship!

Elizabeth Swann: That's it, then? That's the secret? The grand adventure? You spent three days lying on the beach drinking rum.
Jack Sparrow: Welcome to the Caribbean, luv.

Jack Sparrow: [after Will draws his sword] Put it away, son. Its not worth you getting beat again.
Will Turner: You didn't beat me. You ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fight, I'd kill you.
Jack Sparrow: That's not much incentive for me to fight fair, then, is it?

Jack Sparrow: A wedding? I love weddings! Drinks all around!

Barbossa: We are cursed men, Miss Turner.

[Elizabeth is being laced into a corset]
Governor Swann: Elizabeth, how's it coming?
Elizabeth Swann: It's difficult to say.
Governor Swann: I'm told it's the latest fashion in London.
Elizabeth Swann: Well, women in London must have learned not to breathe!

Jack Sparrow: If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it.

Pirate: I'm gonna teach you the meaning of pain!
Elizabeth Swann: You like pain? [hits pirate in the head with a pole] ...try wearing a corset.

Barbossa: For too long I've been parched of thirst and unable to quench it. Too long I've been starving to death and haven't died. I feel nothing. Not the wind on my face nor the spray of the sea. Nor the warmth of a woman's flesh.
[steps into moonlight becoming a skeleton]
Barbossa: You best start believing in ghost stories Miss Turner. You're in one!

Will Turner: Where's Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: She's safe, just like I promised. She's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised. And you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our word really... except for Elizabeth, who is in fact, a woman.

Mr. Gibbs: It's bad luck to wake a man when he's sleeping!
Jack Sparrow: Fortunately, I know how to counter it; the man who does the waking buys a drink for the man who was sleeping, then the man who was sleeping drinks the drink while listening to a proposition from a man who did the waking.
Mr. Gibbs: Aye, that'll about do it!
[Will throws more water on Mr. Gibbs]
Mr. Gibbs: Blast I'm already awake!
Will Turner: That was for the smell.

Will Turner: Elizabeth, I should have told you every day from the moment I met you [pause] I love you.

Elizabeth Swann: I had a dream about you last night. Will Turner: About me?
Governor Swann: Elizabeth, is that entirely proper for you to c...
Elizabeth Swann: About the day we met. Do you remember?

[Elizabeth in rowing boat heading toward shore]
Elizabeth: Bloody Pirates!
[back aboard the Dauntless, Ragetti sees the Pearl sailing away]
Ragetti: Is it supposed to be doing that?
Pintel: They're stealing our ship!
Ragetti: Bloody Pirates!

Jack Sparrow: Elizabeth... It would never have worked between us, darling. I'm sorry. Will... Nice hat.

Jack Sparrow: Stop! No, not good! What are you doing? Not Good! You're burning all the food, the shade... the RUM!
Elizabeth Swann: Yes, the rum is gone.
Jack Sparrow: Why is the rum gone?!
Elizabeth Swann: One, because rum is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two, that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire royal navy is out looking for me; do you really think that there is EVEN the slightest chance that they won't see it?!
Jack Sparrow: But why is the rum gone?!

Jack Sparrow: You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?
Will Turner: I make a point of avoiding familiarity with pirates.

Barbossa: Thank you, Jack.
Jack Sparrow: You're welcome.
Barbossa: Oh, not you. We named the monkey Jack.

Elizabeth Swann: Well, how many times must I ask you to call me Elizabeth?
Will Turner: At least once more Miss Swann, as always.

Will Turner: Elizabeth goes free!
Barbossa: Yes, we know that part, anything else?

Elizabeth: Whose side is Jack on?
Will Turner: At the moment?

Jack Sparrow: [Imitating Elizabeth] "It must have been terrible for you, Jack. Must have been terrible." Well, it bloody is now!
[Seeing Norrington's ship off shore]
Jack Sparrow: There'll be no living with her after this.

Jack Sparrow: Anamaria! [Anamaria slaps jack]
Will Turner: Let me guess, you didn't deserve that one either.
Jack Sparrow: No, that one I deserved

Jack Sparrow: Stop blowing holes in my ship!

Jack Sparrow: Do us a favor...I know it's difficult for you...but please, stay here, and try not to do anything...stupid.

Will Turner: I am not obsessed with treasure!
Jack Sparrow: Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate.

Elizabeth: This is the fastest ship in the Caribbean!
Anamaria: You can tell them that after they've caught us!

Jack Sparrow: A wedding? I love weddings! Drinks all around!

Jack Sparrow: If you were waiting for the opportune moment, that was it.

Uptown Girls

Molly Gunn: We are going to sit in giant tea cups and spin around 'til we puke!
Lorraine Schleine: Are you on crack?

Molly Gunn: This sounds like the soundtrack to something you'd slit your wrists to.

[Ray watches Molly drink a can of fruit juice]
Ray: Fruit punch? Why don't you just drink cyanide? At least it's quick.

Molly Gunn: That's it! I quit!
[Tries to slam the door]
Ray: Swinging door.
[swinging door hits Molly in the face]

Ray: Grownups never stay friends with kids.
Molly Gunn: I don't see any grownups around here.
Ray: I do.

Ray: Every story has an end. But in life, every ending is just a new beginning.

Freddy vs. Jason

[After seeing Jason go on a rampage at a rave]
Kia: [To Lori] Was that him? The guy you were talking about? Freddy Krueger?
Lori: That wasn't the guy from my dream. That was someone else...
Linderman: Who cares about some dream guy!? That psycho in the hockey mask was REAL!
Freeburg: Dude, that fuckin' goalie was pissed about something, man.

Freddy Krueger: [To Kia] How sweet, dark meat!

Lori: Gibb, what are you doing? I thought you quit.
Gibb: I did! I only smoke when I drink now.
Lori: You drink all the time.
Gibb: Yeah, well I'll work on that next.

Freddy Krueger: [To Lori] I've always had a thing for the whores that lived in this house.

[While Jason is drowning]
Lori: You mean you're not coming?
[Camp Counselor, who is having sex with a dead body turns into Freddy]
Freddy Krueger: It's not my fault this bitch is dead on her feet.

Kia: We should offer Freddy a sacrifice.
Lori: Sacrifice? What do you-
Freeburg: A virgin.
Mark: Someone pure, yeah.
[Everyone looks at Linderman]
Linderman: Well, don't look at me. Even if you pay for it, it still counts.

Freaky Friday

Annabell (as Tess): Something happened to us!
Tess (as Annabell): Yeah, something that SUCKS!

Annabell (as Tess): You pierced your navel?!
Tess (as Annabell): Oh, yeah, forgot to tell you about that...sorry
Annabell (as Tess): Well when you get your body back, it's grounded!

Annabell (as Tess): It's easy to be you I'll just suck the fun out of everything!
Tess (as Annabell): I do not suck the fun out of everything!
Annabell (as Tess): Fun-Sucker!

Grandpa: If I have to do this with Harry, does that mean I need to wear a thong?
Harry: Ooooh! Earthquake! Help me!

28 days later...

Only words spoken by an infected person] Infected Kid: I hate you! <............ this is actually creepy if u remember it......//

Selena: What's up?
Jim: I've got a headache.
Selena: Bad?
Jim: It's pretty bad.
Selena: Why didn't you say anything before?
Jim: Well, because I didn't think you'd give a shit.

Jim: No, no, no. See this is a really shit idea. You know why? Because it's really obviously a shit idea.

THE SANDLOT!!!!!! (one of the best)

Benny: Just stand out there and stick your glove out in the air.

"The Babe": Heros get remembered, but legends never die. Follow your heart, kid, and you'll never go wrong.

[Smalls has lost a baseball signed by Babe Ruth] Mr. Mertle: I take it back. You're not in trouble, you're dead where you stand.

[The Sandlot Kids and their arch-rivals come face-to-face]
Phillips: It's easy when you play with rejects and a fat kid, Rodriguez.
Benny: Shut your mouth, Phillips!
Ham Porter: What'd you say, crap face?!
Phillips: You shouldn't be allowed to touch a baseball. Except for Rodriguez, you're all an insult to the game.
Ham Porter: Come on! We'll take you on, right here! Right now! Come on!
Sandlot Kids: Yeah!
Phillips: We play on a real diamond, Porter. You ain't good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats.
Ham Porter: Watch it, jerk!
Phillips: Shut up, idiot!
Ham Porter: Moron!
Phillips: Scab eater!
Ham Porter: Butt sniffer!
Phillips: Pus licker!
Ham Porter: Fart smeller!
Bertram: [sniffs] Ahh.
Phillips: You eat dog crap for breakfast, geek!
Ham Porter: You mix your Wheaties with your mama's toe jam!
Sandlot Kids: Yeah!
Phillips: You bob for apples in the toilet! And you like it!
Ham Porter: Yeah? Well, you play ball like a GIIIIRRRRRRRL!!!
[Entire group stands in shocked silence.]

Ham Porter: YOUR KILLING ME SMALLS!!!!

Ham Porter: You know, if my dog were as ugly as you, I'd shave his butt and tell him to walk backwards.

Squints: Where did your old man get that ball?
Smalls: I don't know. Some lady gave it to him. She even signed her name on it... Ruth. Baby Ruth.
All: BABE RUTH?!

Ham Porter: Benny, why'd you bring that kid?
Benny: Because he makes nine of us.
Yeah Yeah: Yeah yeah, so does my sister, but I didn't bring her along!

Smalls: I was gonna put the ball back.
Squints: But it was signed by Babe Ruth!
Smalls: Yeah, you keep telling me that! Who is she?
Ham Porter: WHAT?! WHAT?!
Kenny: The sultan of swat!
Bertram: The king of crash!
Timmy: The colossus of clauts!
Tommy: The colossus of clauts!
All: BABE RUTH!
Ham Porter: THE GREAT BAMBINO!
Smalls: Oh my god! You mean that's the same guy?!

Smalls: Oh yeah, the Great Bambino. Of course! I thought you said the Great Bambi.
Ham Porter: That wimpy deer?
Smalls: Yeah, I guess. Sorry.

the rundown
Travis: Establish dominance! Establish dominance!

Travis: Whatever my father is paying you, I'll double it!
Beck: No.
Travis: I'll quadruple it!
Beck: No.
Travis: I'll double it and quadruple it!
Beck: No.
Travis: You're being so unreasonable!

Travis: ...There is only one word to describe this type of beauty:... Marianna
Mariana: Okay, what do you want?

Travis: Let me get this straight - you never use guns?
Beck: No.
Travis: Never.
Beck: Never.
Travis: What if your best friend was gonna die, you wouldn't pick up a gun?
Beck: No guns.
Travis: Santa Clause would pick up a gun to save his best friend.
Beck: Do I look like Santa Clause? Do I look like Santa Clause to you?
Travis: What do you say? Guns make you whooh-poco-loco? Bang-bang-crazy?
Beck: I pick up guns, bad things happen to people. I don't like that.
Travis: What kind of things?
Beck: Very bad things, Travis. Walk.
Travis: What about knives?
Beck: Move!

****According to Seann William Scott the "thunder and lightning" bit was just a joke, but was so entertaining it was kept in the film.*****
brillant man that seann william scott!

final destination

[in Carter's car]
Billy Hitchcock: Stay below the speed limit. And oh, don't pass on the right.
Carter: Wait a minute, I'm having a vision here. [to Billy]
Carter: You're the next one man.
Billy Hitchcock: Hey man, why'd you say something like that?
Carter: Because if you don't shut up, I'm gonna fucking kill you!

final destination 2

Tim Carpenter}: If he gives me the gas and I wake up with my pants unbuttoned, we ain't payin'.

Kimberly Corman: Dad, it's Daytona not Somalia.
Mr. Corman: alright, iso-flats, road flares, sun block, mace...
Shaina: Condoms, whips, chains...

She spies

(this show is great! it's like charlie's angels minus the budget)
Cassie McBain: There are things I'd rather be doing than dying.
Shane Phillips: Playing miniature golf.
Cassie McBain: Wallpapering the guest bedroom.
Shane Phillips: Watching the second season of 'The Bachelor.' [pause] Nah.
Cassie McBain: Rather be dying.

Shane Phillips: It's sleaze like that that gives sleaze like us a bad name.
Jack Wilde: Yeah, well, contact your union.

Shane Phillips: We've got 'She Spy' action figures.
D.D. Cummings: We have 'She Spy' action figures?
Shane Phillips: Yeah. You wind them up and they dare you to find their time slot.

Tanya: You should be thankful, you know. Some species the female eats the male after mating.
Jack Wilde: And not in the way we like it.

D.D. Cummings: You know, I used to clean my own cell. I was once even named 'Inmate of the Month'. Never got to use the parking space, though.

Jack Wilde: Give me a J.Lo.
Bartender: What's that?
Jack Wilde: Whatever you want - just put it in a big-ass glass.

Jack Wilde: Ooh. Refresh my memory - middle finger straight up mean you're number one in customer satisfaction?

Cassie McBain: Would've been better with ninjas.
Shane Phillips: That's what we were saying.
D.D. Cummings: You think so too?
Cassie McBain: Absolutely, the noises they make and the way they always travel in groups. And how about how they let one finish fighting before the other jumps in
Shane Phillips: Yeah, we forgot about that. They are so polite.
D.D. Cummings: I like that about ninjas.

strangers with candy

~~this show was on comedy central for like, only two years. it's soooo riduculous that oh gawd... its soo funny~~

Jerri Blank: I cried when I had no shoes. Then I saw a man who had no feet. And then I laughed REALLY hard.
Mr. Chuck Noblet: Fran, you're late.
Fran: Am I? Or is the rest of the world early?

Jerri Blank: Packing a Musket, by Jerri Blank When you work from your home, and johns call on the phone, you're a call girl. When you walk to you limp, and give a cut to a pimp, you're a stree whore. When they're beggin ya please, to get down on your knees, near their groinage, scusa me, but ya see, don't ya touch, where they pee, without coinage.
Mr. Chuck Noblet: Thank you Jerri...
Jerri Blank: When I straddle and squat, to show you my...
[Bell rings]

Jerri Blank: I'm not adopted and I'm not an Indian. It's just a coincidence that I have a love of gambling and booze and a knack for catching syphilis.

Jerri Blank: Hey Stew, you seen my mother?
Stew: Which one? The real one, the dead one, or the one I'm having sex with?

Jerri Blank: Hello. I'm Jerry Blank. 32 years ago I dropped out of High School and ran away from home. Oh, I made a lot of friends... did a lot of time. I was a boozer, a user and a loser. I stole the TV! - Did some more time. But now I'm back in school! And though the faces may have changed, the hassles are just the same.

Stephen Colbert: Before we leave, THAT is Ricky, he's a new student here at Flatpoint... Now I want you to treat Ricky like you would any other student you know nothing about and who evidently feels he can walk into my classroom in the middle of the semester and expect me to change my lesson plan.

Jeri: Don't think about sex. Don't think about sex. Don't think about sex. Oh it's hard. Oh, Hard.

Geoffrey Jellineck: If wishes and buts were clusters of nuts, we'd all have a bowl of granola!

more mooovie quotes