Author: I forgot to mention in the last part that the lyrics you saw were not by me but were taken from Michelle Branchís song, Iíd rather be in love. For this part the lyrics are from BBMakís, Back Here. Except for the last part at the end, which is from my poem, Give In. This time the point of view switches not just from Lidal and Trunks but to Pendril and one little part from the narratorís view that I couldnít resist putting in.
I avoided all contact with Trunks. I avoided all contact with any living being. I needed to think on my own about what I was going to do. A least everyone else thought I was in the middle of a heat cycle.
Within a couple weeks, I knew something was wrong. By the end of the fourth week, I couldnít deny it any longer. I was pregnant. And I had no idea what to do.
At first I considered running away and never returning. But I knew that was very childish and very selfish. I was already hiding like a coward. What was I saying? I am a coward.
My goal had been to talk to Lidal as soon as possible. But it was kind of hard to talk to a person who was hiding from you. She had been gone for over a month now and no one knew where she was. Not even Pendril. He thinks she probably went away to do some private training but I knew deep down that he didnít believe that. I didnít believe it either. She was avoiding me, on purpose. That much was obvious. But why, I had no clue. Did she hate me? Was she angry about what had happened?
Ever since that night, I havenít been fairing very well. I hadnít been able to sleep for more than two hours a night, my body has strange aches, my appetite has been off, and my temper has been short. Iíve been snapping at everybody. Goten has started avoiding me. Bra has been yelling at me and Mother is worried that Iím sick. But I know Iím not sick. Strangely, my father has been going around with an amused smirk on his face. He knows something that heís not telling me.
All I know is that I miss Lidal terribly. And that if I donít see her soon, Iím going to go insane.
Baby set me free
From this misery
I canít take it no more
Since you ran away
Nothingís been the same
Donít know what Iím living for
I was a coward. How come when someoneís life was being threatened, I jump in to save them without thinking twice, but when it comes to facing Trunks and telling him I how I feel, all I can do is run away? And it wasnít a matter of just telling him how I feel anymore but informing him I was carrying his child as well. How did my life suddenly become so complicated?
I missed Trunks more than I ever thought I would. And for all that I was a coward, I desperately wanted to talk to him. I was afraid he would reject me and that he would be angry about my being pregnant. I knew he wasnít the type of person to abandon his own kid but I didnít think he would appreciate being saddled with a child before he was ready. And certainly when the mother wasnít his wife or the woman he loved. I didnít want him to feel obligated to do anything for me. I could fend for my child and myself if necessary.
My child. It felt strange to say those words. I had never really thought about becoming a mother. I didnít think I would have a baby for several years yet. The thought of even taking a mate had still been pretty obscure to me, especially after what had happened with Trunks.
I knew my family knew where I was hiding. I knew that they respected the fact that I needed time alone and expected me to return home when I was ready. But the thing was, I wasnít sure if I was ever going to return home.
I knew my family was probably dying to talk to me, to ask me what was wrong. Father would never stoop so low as to actually give in and come talk to me, to try to get me to reveal something. But I knew it was just a matter of time before my brother came.
He didnít come until the fourth week, around the time I gave in and admitted that I was pregnant. When Pendril showed up, I was absolutely terrified that he would discover my secret.
I was meditating or actually trying to meditate on top of the rock outcropping above the waterfall. He didnít say anything at first, just settled down next to me on the rock. After a few moments, I gave in and asked the first question.
"So what brings you out here?"
He gave me this look, like I canít believe you asked such a silly question look. "You actually."
I sighed. His lips twitched in amusement as he tried to keep from smiling. "Of course, you already knew that. What are you doing out here, Lidal?"
I glanced away, so I wouldnít have to look him in the eye when I lied. "I just needed to be alone, thatís all. Going back to the past gave me a lot to think about."
Pendril snorted. "Donít insult me. I donít believe that for one second."
"Well, then, what do you want me to say?"
"Just answer me this: does your wanting to be alone have anything to do with Trunks?"
I tried to keep my composure. I shouldnít have been surprised but I was. He is my twin after all. "What makes you say that?"
"Maybe because heís hasnít been the same since he came back from his training trip. And that you havenít been either. Maybe because that when he came back, his clothes were torn and he reeked of you. And for some reason, you werenít in heat anymore. Or maybe its because I know how you feel about him."
If I blushed any redder, I would have become a tomato. How did he know I hadnít gone through a full heat cycle? "Itís complicated Pendril."
"Whatís so complicated about it?"
We had always shared everything. There had never been any secrets between us until I realized how I felt about Trunks. I wanted to tell him but for some reason I couldnít. It was just too personal. "I canít tell you that, Pendril."
"You mean you wonít tell me." I glared at him and he threw his hands up in surrender. "All right. I wonít push. But youíre acting like a coward, hiding out here. And I for one know youíre not a coward."
"Maybe Iíve been a coward all along and Iím just now showing my true colors."
Pendril stood, flipping his cape out of the way. "Donít be ridiculous. And donít give up hope either. Mother hid here when she didnít think Father loved her. And look how that turned out. You better return soon or Iíll tell Father heís going to be a grandfather soon. That should definitely spur you into action. Goodbye Lidal."
With that he flew away. It was just as well. After that kind of remark, I was unable to speak for quite sometime.
Lidal had been gone for about two months when I had a rather strange conversation with my father. My father is not the type of person to just sit down and have a quiet conversation. But thatís what happened.
I was on the roof at the time, thinking and being downright depressed. And what was I thinking about that made me so depressed? Lidal, of course.
ĎCause here I am, so alone
And thereís nothing in this world I can do
Until youíre back here, baby
I miss you, I want you, I need you so much
So there I was, watching the sunset and brooding over my situation, when who should come onto the roof through the skylight? My father. Vegeta. The Prince of all Saiyans. And how does he start the conversation? No hello or how are you. Just the usually blunt comment.
"Youíre mother thinks I should talk with you, boy. Youíve been grating on everyoneís nerves, including mine."
I snorted. I didnít really care if I was worrying my mother or annoying everyone else. I didnít really care much about anything anymore. I guess my response or the lack there of was the last straw, for the next thing I knew, I was sprawled on my back, seeing stars. My father had backhanded me. I probably deserved it too, the way I was acting.
I sat up and rubbed my sore jaw while trying to glare at my father at the same time. "And I suppose you have a reason for doing that?"
"And when do I have to explain my actions to you, boy? Youíre acting like a baby, sitting up here and sulking. I didnít raise you to be a weakling; I raised you to be a warrior. Now start acting like one."
I stood up, indignant. "And what would you know about what Iím going through? You donít feel!"
The look he gave me instantly shut my mouth. I couldnít believe I had just said that to him. I wouldnít have been surprised if he punched me again.
"How do you think you came into the world boy? But thatís not what weíre here to discuss. I know you havenít been sleeping lately. Youíre body probably aches, you havenít been eating well and youíre temper is short. Am I right?"
All I could do was gawk at him and then nod. He sighed, something I didnít think he did much. "I thought as much. You claimed her, didnít you? Thatís why youíre feeling so poorly. Once you take a mate, you wonít be able to stand being away from her for more than a few days."
If my mouth opened any wider, I would have been able to swallow my dad whole. "How do you know Iíve claimed her? Do you even know who I have claimed?"
Dad snorted. "Of course I know. Iím not an idiot boy. You went and claimed that Namek girl. She was in heat, wasnít she? And you probably couldnít resist her."
I scowled. "She couldnít help it if she was in heat."
"I know that. But do you love her?"
In all my life, I never expected my dad to ask me a question like that. I averted my eyes as I answered him. "Yes, I love her. Very much."
Dad nodded his approval. "Good." Then he paused. "Sheís probably pregnant, you know."
I sat down hard at his remark, not quite registering what he had said. He had said it so casually, so flippantly. Lidal? Pregnant?
Dad laughed at me. "Silly boy, you never think these things through, do you? The point of her going in heat is that her body is primed to breed."
I shook my head sadly. It had never occurred to me that Lidal might be carrying my child. Dad was right. After all, the whole point of Lidalís body having heat cycles was indeed to reproduce. I immediately became infuriated at the thought that Lidal might be pregnant and she hadnít come to inform me. But then, I couldnít blame her. The circumstances under which she might have conceived werenít exactly the most favorable.
"I canít believe she wouldnít tell me."
I couldnít read the look on his face as he studied me. "So what are you going to do about it boy?"
I frowned. "When are you going to stop calling me boy?" If I was going to be a father, I didnít need my own dad calling me boy. I was thirty years old, for Kamiís sake.
"When you start acting like a man. So what are you going to do about the Namek girl?"
I got a determined look on my face and stood. "Iím going to go find her, thatís what Iím going to do. And Iím going to bring her home. Whether she likes it or not, sheís my mate."
He clapped me on the shoulder, suddenly looking proud. "Now youíre acting like a grown man. Go find her son."
I powered up and took off, not noticing what my dad called me until later. I probably wouldnít have known what to say to that anyway.
There was only one person who might possibly know where she was hiding. I flew off immediately to go question him. And plead with him, if thatís what it took.
Until youíre back here, baby, yeah
Thereís this feeling inside, I want you to know
You are the one and I canít let you go
After Trunks left, Vegeta went back inside through the skylight to find his wife staring at him. "What is it Woman?"
Bulma raised an eyebrow at him. "I seem to remember a long time ago when a certain Saiyan found the idea of mixing Namek and Saiyan blood utterly repulsive. And now here you are, encouraging what you found so repulsive so long ago."
Vegeta scowled at her, not exactly willing to respond. Bulma crossed her arms. "What changed your mind?"
Vegeta raised an eyebrow and then smirked. "Letís just say I know love when I see it. And I remember a certain woman saying a long time ago that you canít stop love."
Bulmaís eyes widened at her husband and then she smiled. "One of lifeís little quirks, I guess."
I wasnít surprised to see Trunks. Actually, I expected him to come to me a lot sooner. I wasnít blind. I could see how my sister felt about him. Although why she fell for Trunks Iíll never know. And I had seen the way he looked at her. But why they couldnít figure this out for themselves, Iíll never know. So I figured I could lend a helping hand and push him in the right direction. But I didnít think it would hurt to have him sweat a little first. After all, he did screw up.
I was meditating by the stream that ran through the meadow where we lived. Smoak, my rather unpredictable gray yuudragon, was perched on a rock beneath me, being quiet for once. I knew that wouldnít last. Especially when I saw Trunks approaching me. His ki was suppressed as if he didnít want to catch the attention of my father. Considering what he had done, that was probably a wise choice.
Trunks stopped just before me. I opened my eyes to look at him but I stayed floating. I had been talking to Goten and from what he said, it might be safer to remain in the air.
He cut right to the chase. "Do you know where she is Pendril?"
Let him stew. I turned to Smoak and said, "He doesnít beat around the bush, does he?"
I wouldnít provoke himadvised Smoak. I can sense a great anxiety within him. He hasnít been well. Just look at him.
I turned to scrutinize him. Smoak was right, of course. He didnít look well at all. Maybe I wonít play with him. "Maybe Iíll take your advice."
You should take my advice more often. Donít blame me if he attacks you.
"I can fend for myself."
Smoak ruffled his wings, as if to say, I warned you.
Trunks shifted on his feet, looking rather impatient and uncomfortable. I knew it annoyed him sometimes how he couldnít understand our dragons. "Are you going to answer me or not? I know you know. You wouldnít be much of a brother if you didnít know."
I glared at him. "Humph. You know, it wouldnít hurt for you to learn some patience."
"Please Pendril. I need to talk her."
"I should say you need to talk to her."
Trunksí eyes widened and fidgeted nervously. "Did she tell you what happened between us then?"
I shook my head. "Sadly, no. But I have a pretty good idea. She canít keep secrets from me, no matter how hard she tries. Sheís never even tried to keep a secret from me until you." I glared at him accusingly.
Trunks blushed and averted his gaze. "Do you, uh, know then, if, well, if sheís . . . "
"Spit it out Trunks."
He turned to look me square in the eye then. "Is she pregnant, Pendril?"
This time it was my turn to avert my gaze. I knew, of course, but it wouldnít be right if I told him. "Thatís not for me to tell you. Thatís for her to tell you."
"Sheís avoiding me Pendril. Please tell me where she is."
I sighed and decided to give in. "Thereís a clearing in the forest with a large waterfall where our mother likes to go to be alone. She might be there." Of course, I knew she was there, since I had just gone to visit her not long ago. I proceeded to tell him how to find it.
"Thanks Pendril. I owe you one."
"Just make her happy and Iíll declare it even."
"You have my word." And with that he raced off, impatient to see her. I shook my head. Why did people in love have to make things so complicated?
Are you sure you should have told him where your sister is without her knowledge?asked Smoak.
I gave him a stern look. "My sister has to face him sometime. Sooner is more preferable than later."
If she had her way, he would have never known and she would stay hidden forever.
"I know that. Thatís why Iím helping out. Everything will work out in the end, youíll see."
Have you suddenly gained the Sight, to sound so sure?
"Who needs the Sight? I have a very good feeling about this, thatís all. Why are you so pessimistic?"
I know your sister.
I sighed. "Yeah, I know her too. But with her pregnancy, she canít morph. And she canít run forever. Everything will work out."
I thought I had followed Pendrilís instructions pretty closely but within an hour I was lost. Only Lidal and Pendril and their parents knew these woods like the back of their hand. Most people didnít know this forest existed and those who did avoided it. It was known as the Mystic Woods and there was story about a ghost who haunted the trees and would imprison you in the trees if you ventured into the woods. Of course, the story was silly and ridiculous. They were obviously talking about Kya. No wonder she managed to stay hidden and unknown to the rest of the world.
I was determined not to give up though. The sun was just rising when I picked up Lidalís sent. After our night together, I was more familiar with it. She may be the best out of all of us at hiding her ki but she didnít think to disguise her scent. I found the clearing with the waterfall rather quickly after that.
The place was beautiful. But the most beautiful sight to my eyes was the green woman sitting at the base of the waterfall. Lidal.
I was daydreaming by the waterfall. I hadnít been able to sleep, so I sat there trying to imagine what my baby would look like. Very foolish, I know. My guard was down as well, so I didnít sense him until it was too late.
I jerked back to reality with a start. Trunks?! What was he doing here? I couldnít face him! Not in my condition. I had no idea what to say to him. So I did the first thing that came to my mind. I ran.
My heart ached as I looked at her. I had wanted to see her for so long. Without warning she stood, a wild look in her eyes. And I instantly knew what she was going to do. I put out my hand, shouting, "Wait, Lidal! Donít go!"
As if that would stop her. She bolted. Within a moment, she was gone, a blur as she ran into the forest. I should have expected this. Without wasting any time, I powered up to Super Saiyan 2 and barreled after her.
I ran. Whipping through branches and weaving in and out among the trees, not really knowing where I was going. All I knew was that I had to get away.
I knew he wasnít far behind me. I could sense him. I cursed, speeding up. But at this pace, I couldnít keep running for long. I wanted so badly to slip away into the air or the earth. But I couldnít. Not when I was pregnant. I wouldnít risk my baby that way.
I was gaining on her. And I knew she knew that. I just hoped she didnít panic and do something drastic. As I ran, I began to wonder why she didnít try to slip away as one of the elements. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that this knowledge was significant somehow but I didnít want to think about it. I was afraid to know what it meant.
Luck was with me. We suddenly came to the base of a cliff. Because of the way the cliff was shaped, she couldnít even fly away. She had no where to run now. To get away she would have to go through me. And I wasnít about to let her go until we talked.
I was trapped. I had no where to go. I turned around, backing up Ďtil I met the cliff wall. I looked at Trunks, my body tense with fear. But what I was afraid of, I couldnít say for sure.
He studied me, his stance full of determination. "Why did you run?"
How could I answer that question when I wasnít sure of why myself? I had missed him but I ran. I asked him a question instead. "Why are you here? Why did you run after me?"
He stepped closer and I took a few steps to the side, trying to maintain my distance. He stopped, his face full of uncertainty. He licked his lips and I realized how badly I wanted to kiss them. "Iím here because I have something to say, Lidal. I wanted to tell you sooner. Youíve been avoiding me."
I looked down, suddenly feeling defeated. So, he came to apologize, to say it was all a mistake. Now I remember why I ran. I was afraid of his rejection.
He started coming closer again and I froze. I didnít think I could control myself if he came near me. I had missed him for so long and I yearned for his touch. He came within arms length and reached out to touch my face. I moved my head, trying not to look at him. "Please donít come near me."
He dropped his hand. "Do you hate me that much then?"
I stared. Why did he suddenly seem so sad? I was going to deny what he had said but I hesitated. My greatest fear of all was for him to know how I felt about him. Suddenly he looked up, his eyes intense and turbulent.
I was desperate. I wanted to make her understand. I didnít want her to hate me. Something in my eyes must have scared her, because she tried to run again. In one swift movement, I grabbed her, spun her around, and pinned her to the cliff wall, holding her hands above her head.
She shouted at me to let her go as she struggled against the grip I had on her wrists. I shook her and yelled, "Be still! Youíre going to listen to what I have to say and youíre not going to fight me on this!"
"Please, just leave me alone . . ."
It hurt to hear her plea but I was determined to have my say. But before I could say anything, I froze in surprise. There was something different about her.
Just when Trunks was about to say whatever he had come to say, he froze, as if in shock. Switching my wrists so he could hold them with one hand, he placed his free hand on my stomach. Confused at first, I wondered what the hell he was doing. And then I closed my eyes in defeat. He had sensed the life within me. It was all over now.
After a long tense moment, he looked up at me, his eyes accusing me while the rest of his face relayed how hurt he was. I hadnít meant to hurt him. I couldnít do anything right.
His voice was low and intense when he finally spoke. "Why didnít you tell me?"
I couldnít look into those blue eyes as they were then, full of fury. I was forced to avert my eyes. "I didnít want you to feel any obligation to me or the baby. Iíll be fine on my own."
I never felt more pain than what I felt when Lidal said she didnít need me. That she didnít want me to feel obligated. Obligated? It was my child! My baby! Did she think that I would not want it? My own child? I thought she knew me better than that. We grew up together!
Or was she worried that I would feel obligated to care for her? I was suddenly getting a sense that she did care for me. And that she ran because she was afraid of those feelings. I began to think of the little girl I used to baby-sit for, so long ago. How once she had said she could never understand how anyone could trust their life to another like the Shizen did with the way they married.
I turned my attention back to her. She was trembling. I looked at her lips. I was dying to kiss them. How would she react? I decided to find out.
I was still waiting for Trunks to respond when I felt his lips pressing gently against mine. Shocked, at first all I could do was stand there and let him kiss me. But as he deepened the kiss, I surprised myself by kissing him back. I felt him smile against my lips but why he was, I didnít know. Slowly he pulled away, leaving me bewildered and befuddled. I couldnít look at him. Now he had to know how I felt about him. I would never be able to face him again.
After that kiss, I was pretty sure how she felt but I had to know for sure before I could say anything.
"Look at me, Lidal."
She shook her head, afraid to speak. I placed my hand under her chin and gently lifted her head so I could look at her. The look in her eyes was frightened and panicked but there was an emotion lying underneath that. An emotion I thought I recognized.
"How do you feel about me, Lidal?"
How could he ask that? He had to know, after that kiss. Why did he have to kiss me? Well, I guess I had to face up to the truth at some point. Or I would be a coward for the rest of my days.
Looking him straight in the eye, I took a deep breath and answered his question.
"I love you, Trunks."
There was a pause, as he digested what I had said. Without warning I was caught up in a fierce hug and I could feel Trunks kissing the top of my head, then my forehead, my eyelids, my cheeks, and then ardently on the mouth. What was going on? "Trunks?"
"Iíve been waiting so long for you to say that," he whispered softly against my hair. "I wanted to come find you so badly but I thought you were angry with me over what had happened. I hated not being able to hold you or kiss you or simply be near you. Donít ever do that again."
"Trunks?" What was he trying to say?
He pulled away, cupping my face with his hands so he could look me in the eye. "I love you, Lidal. All Iíve ever wanted is you."
"Youíre serious?" Was I hallucinating? Did Trunks just say he loved me?
"Of course Iím serious. I need you. Donít ever leave me. I donít think I could stand it again."
Heís being sincere. He does love me. Tears spilled out of my eyes and he wiped them away gently with his fingers. "Please donít cry. Youíve never cried, why start now?"
"Maybe because Iím pregnant and the father of my baby just said he loves me." I couldnít believe this was happening.
He kissed me and I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him back. Wrapping his arms tightly around my waist, he spun me around, laughing jubilantly. I couldnít help but laugh with him. I didnít laugh very often. But I was happy. So I laughed.
She was laughing. She loved me and I loved her. And she was laughing. Just because she was happy. I could hardly believe it. I set her down on her feet and kissed her again. I couldnít get enough of her. Suddenly I pulled away and she made a disappointed sound as I did. But there was something important to talk about.
"Lidal, do you want to marry me? In the Shizen way?"
She stared at me and I could see some of the fear and uncertainty returning in her eyes. "Youíre not afraid?"
I considered my answer carefully. I had never thought of going through a Shizen marriage before. I reached out and traced the spot on her shoulder where I knew I had bitten her. Even through her tunic, she shivered from the touch. My father had said it would be sensitive. "It frightens me a little. But I already consider you my mate."
He already considered me his mate. I donít know why I was surprised. After all, he did say he loved me. But I was still getting used to the idea.
I still had to deal with my own issues though. I am a Shizen, yet I am afraid of going through a Shizen marriage. Why should I be? My parents went through one. I was frightened of entrusting my soul to another person. I would be bound to the person for all eternity. And their soul would be bound to me. When one died, the other died. It was how Kan, the first guardian, my motherís brother, my uncle, had become mortal. He could be killed but was essentially immortal, for he could not age. But by marrying his love, Eka, that was taken away. I wasnĎt essentially doing the same thing, for I wasnít immortal. But could I do that?
Trunks drew me out of my thoughts. He was saying something. "You avoided my question. How do you feel about getting married?" He paused. "Are you afraid?"
How could I explain? "I guess I have to admit that I am. We would have no secrets from each other. We would know each otherís pasts and would always know what the other was thinking. And if one of us died, the other would die."
Trunks glanced down and then looked back up at me. " If you died Lidal, I donít think I could go on living without you anyway."
My breath hitched in my throat as I inhaled too quickly. He felt that strongly? About me? Did I feel that strongly about him? I looked within myself and found that was true. Now that I knew Trunks loved me, I couldnít imagine living without him. I shyly looked at him. He was awaiting my response. And somehow I knew he was wondering if he had said too much, too fast. Timidly, I slipped my arms around him in a tight hug. "I donít think I could either."
He hugged me back fiercely, sighing in relief. "Then wouldnít going through this marriage be a way of making sure we were never without each other?"
I smiled. He was right, of course. And though I was still a little nervous about it, I felt I was ready. I was twenty years old, much younger than Mother had been when she married Father, but I felt it was time. I love Trunks and he loves me and in a few months, we were going to be parents. It may have been sooner than I would have liked but I wasnít going to complain. I just wanted us to be bondmates before I gave birth. I wonder what gender it will be.
From somewhere in the brush nearby, I heard Kindle mutterItís about time. I was too happy at the time to care about her spying again.
There was nothing more I could do
But give into the feelings I felt for you.
Give into the emotion known as love.
Here's the whole poem GIVE IN:
GIVE IN Love was an emotion That I was unfamiliar with. But when I gaze upon you, I felt such a stirring within I knew it could only be love. I knew it was useless To try to stop my feelings for you. So I tried to hide it, But you found out anyway. And revealed you felt as strong as I did. I ran in fear from the depth of your emotion, But you caught me anyway. And soothed away the fears I had. There was nothing more I could do But give into the feelings I felt for you. Give into the emotion known as love.
Love was an emotion
That I was unfamiliar with.
But when I gaze upon you,
I felt such a stirring within
I knew it could only be love.
I knew it was useless
To try to stop my feelings for you.
So I tried to hide it,
But you found out anyway.
And revealed you felt as strong as I did.
I ran in fear from the depth of your emotion,
But you caught me anyway.
And soothed away the fears I had.
There was nothing more I could do
But give into the feelings I felt for you.
Give into the emotion known as love.
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