Sailor Moon Jokes

WARNING! Some of these jokes do contain some profanity and sexual content...if you are under 13, some parental guidance may be needed to read the jokes. BTW, I took the time to come up with these jokes (ones I got the ideas from are given credit), so have a heart and don't take them.

-Mercury:"Catch his Lucky Charms!"

-*The television continues the discussion of a 5.6 earthquake that hit near Tokyo.* Haruka:"Mannnnn...I can beat that!!" *transforms into Uranus* "Worrrrllllllddddd Shhhhhhaaaa..." Michiru:"Don't you dare!" Uranus:"But, baby..." Michiru:"NO!" *Uranus slumps on couch* Uranus:"You're no fun!"

MY FRIEND CLAROL, AKA CASQADE GAVE ME THIS NEXT IDEA, ALONG WITH SOME OF THE RESPONSES THEMSELVES. I'LL PUT A % BY THE ONES SHE GAVE. MUCH THANKS TO HER! -Why did the chicken cross the road? This is how some characters of SM responded. Usagi:"Mmmmmm...chicken."% Ami:"Hold on chicken. Let me analyze your feathers, just to be certain you're not a Negaverse youma." Rei:"Evil spirit, be gone!!" *throws a Ofuda scroll at a terrified chicken* Makoto:"He looks just like my old boyfriend."%Minako:"Oooooo...the chicken could be an evil spirit coming to get us! That's why you should 'hook' before you leap!"% Chibi Usa:"Come on over to our house, Chicken. We're having chicken for dinner." *again, the chicken looks horrified* Haruka:"The chicken is an intruder from the outer solar system and must be stopped!" Michiru:"The chicken must cross the road! It's his mission!"% Setsuna:"A chicken? Crossing a road? Why would he waste his time doing that?" Hotaru:"Chibi Usa? Did I hurt you in any way? I swear, it wasn't me! It was the chicken!" Nephrite:"The movement of the stars rules everything. Point me to my next victim." *picture of chicken appears* "Chicken, your energy is MINE!!" *gives evil laugh* Beryl:"Now, Zoicite...explain your behavior reguarding Tuxedo Chicken." Alan:"Pick a Cardian, Chicken. Any Cardian." Ann:"If the chicken dies, WE die!"% (I think) Bertie:"Ewwwww...that feathery look is sooooo last season!" Sapphire:"We can't trust him, Diamond. He's working for the Doom Chicken. Look at him. He's got traitor written all over his feathery face!" *Diamond sits on his throne with a napkin in his shirt and a knife and fork in his hands; he greedily looks at the chicken, who has a sweatdrop* "You know, I always get everything I want. Everything." *Eudial shoots her Super Turbo Fire Buster, but misses* "Damn chicken! I missed!" *aims again and fires;chicken is now burnt. Eudial begins to sing* "Kentucky Fried Chicken! We do chicken right!" Tomoe:"Kiss your pure heart goodbye, chicken!" Zirconia:"What? You actually think this chicken has the golden mirror, Zircon?" Zirconia:"I don't need you anymore, Amazon Trio. I have a new acomplice: Chicken Eye"; PallaPalla:"Zirky, Lurky, Turkey, Jerky..."% (something like that) Nehelenia:"Damn chicken! Stop looking at me with those eyes!!!"

OK, ENOUGH WITH THE CHICKEN ALREADY!!

-Jedeite:"Those annoying sailor scouts! Always messing up my plans! Curse them!...Mars is kind of cute, though."

-Saturn:"Now, how come I'm the only outer scout that doesn't have an element-like name?" (Uranium, Neptunium, and Plutonium) *others hunch shoulders; Mercury pats Saturn on the back* Mercury:"Don't worry. At least we're cool car companies." *she smiles at Saturn while Uranus fidgets her eyebrow in frustration. Neptune walks up and puts her hand on Uranus's shoulder.* Neptune:"Are you alright?" Uranus:"Why can't we be named after cars? They have it all! It's not fair!!"

-*Tax collectors visit Nephlite's mansion* KNOCK, KNOCK...*Nephlite answers the door in a bathrobe and a long yawn* "Yes?" Tax collector 1:"Uhhh...we're here to collect taxes on property. Is that Ferarri yours, too?" Nephlite:"Yeah..." Tax collector 2:"We have to charge you for that, too." Nephlite:"Oh really? You gonna charge me for him, too?" *Nephlite points at Leo the Lion, who is now showing his sharp teeth at the collectors* Tax collectors:"Uhhh...NO! That's okay! Hell! We'll pay for it ourselves!" *Both take off in terror;Nephlite walks over to Leo the Lion and pats him on the head* Nephlite:"Today's magic word is 'asshole'. Too bad they didn't stay long enough to have been greeted properly..." *looks in a closet to see a huge pile of assorted pieces of torn underware from other tax collectors*

-*Chibi Moon after getting hit by a daimon* "Pink Booger Heart Attack!"

-*Usagi slides on ice and lands on her ass* Usagi:"OWWWWW! I have a royal pain in my ass!" Rei:"What do you mean?! You ARE a royal pain in the ass!!" Usagi:"Oh, Rei! You're soooo meeeeaaaannnn! Whhhhhaaaaaaaaaaa!"

-*Mamoru goes to Subway* "I would like a Meatball Head sub." Subway worker with sweatdrop:"Huh?" Mamoru:"Uhh, I mean a meatball sub." *turns to Usagi* "Now, see what you made me do?!"

-Jedeite:"If I only had a brain..." Zoicite:"If I only had a heart..." Kunzite:"If I only had the nerve..." Nephrite (snickering):"There's no place like home...can't say the same, can ya, Zoi and Kun?!" *Zoicite and Kunzite grimace*

-*Usagi and Makoto discuss "The Who"

Usagi:"Wow! This is a super cool band! What's their name again?" Makoto:"Who." Usagi:"The band." Makoto:"Who." Usagi:"The band on the stage." Makoto:"Who." Usagi:"The group that's playing now." Makoto:"Who is the name of the band." Usagi:"That's what I want to know! Okay, let's start over. See the band on stage?" Makoto:"Yes." Usagi:"Does that band have a name?" Makoto:"Yes." Usagi:"What is the name of the band?" Makoto:"Who." Usagi:"The band that we're listening to." Makoto:"Who." Usagi:"The band that's playing." Makoto:"The name of the band is The Who." Usagi: "That's what I'M asking!!" (panting) "You know, I GIVE UP!"

-Visit some of the websites of the following SM characters...

Jedeite:www.'plane'andsimple.com Nephrite:www.starsandcars.com Zoicite:www.ratpack.com Kunzite:www.bleachblondesandboomerangs.com Usagi:www.highhopesandlowscores.com Ami:www.ablushingbluebrainiac.com Rei:www.redscrolls.com Makoto:www.boyfriendsandbaking.com Minako:www.AphroditeandArtemis.com Chibiusa:www.prettyinpink.com Setsuna:www.backtothefuture.com Haruka:www.flyingandflirting.com Michiru:www.deepseasandhighc's.com Hotaru:www.splitpersonality.com

-The outer senshi are invited to Study Buddies...

Ami:"...anyway you can see, that's where the formula y=mx+b comes into play." *Makoto nods her head while Usagi's eyes are in a spiral of confusion;when Michiru leaves to go to the restroom, Haruka slides beside Rei and put's her arm around Rei's neck* Haruka:"Hey, sweetheart. Wanna help me work it?" Rei (sliding away a bit):"Exactly WHAT are you talking about working?!" Haruka (smiles):"This problem, of course!" *A voice is heard from 10 feet away* "Working hard, Haruka?!" *Haruka looks around to see Michiru looking angry* Haruka:"I...uhhh...needed help with a problem. Honest." *Michiru raises an eyebrow*

-*Three villainesses argue over which Disney video to watch* Nehelenia:"I want to watch Snow White! That queen was thought of as evil, but she just wanted to be the most beautiful and remain it." *blushes* "I can relate to that. I can't stand those of purity! Snow White should be sealed inside a mirror!" Beryl:"The Little Mermaid is the best! What a better plot, for Ursula to take over and ruin the true love of a princess!" *gives and evil laugh* Zirconia:"I liked Maleficent from Sleeping Beauty. Greenish skin and staffs are DEFINATELY IN!" *arguing continues*

-*Chibi Moon preceeds to call Pegasus for help, but he appears before she does the "Crystal Twinkle Yell"* Pegasus:"Let me guess...you need my help again? Chibi Moon:"Uhhh...well, yes." Pegasus (rolling eyes):"It figures."

-*The sailor senshi line up for a battle against the Witches 5. Everyone shares the same angry look...then, the silence is broken by Jupiter when she...throws a pokéball* Jupiter:"Pikachu! I choose you! Thundershock, now!" *Mimete's hair is now black* "Now, Electobuzz! Come out and have some fun!" *Electobuzz sees Purchirol and runs after her* (Electobuzz hates red) Mercury:"Lapras! Ice beam attack!" *Viluy is now frozen* Venus:"Clefairy! Metronome! *Kaolinite, who joined the group in battle, is now flying through the air* Team Rocket (together):"Looks like Kaolinite is blasting off again!" James:"But she did look GOOD!" Meowth:"Yeah, not ugly like Jessy." *Jessy knocks them both out with a giant fan* Neptune:"Squirtle! Water gun, now!" *After 'rinsing off' the Witches, Pluto and Saturn tie them up* Sailor Moon:"Nidoran! Go!" *Nidoran rubs against her boot and Sailor Moon gets annoyed* "Nidoran, return! Why do I get stuck with the rabbit? I wanted a Dragonite!" Uranus:"Sandshrew! Dig a hole under the Witches 5!" *Sandshrew digs the hole and the Witches, who were once standing, are now on their asses in a deep hole* Chibi Moon:"Jigglypuff! Sing..." *other senshi stop Chibi Moon, since they don't want to be asleep as well as the enemy* Mars:"Charizard! Scoop them up and finish them off with a Seismic toss! *Charizard grabs the end of the rope (with the Witches on the other end) and does his attack; Tomoe sees the five shooting back towards Earth* Tomoe (back home):"I knew I should have supplied them with pokéballs." *Meanwhile, Purchirol is running from Electobuzz and runs right into the hole that the other Witches were lifted from. Mars:"Good riddance!" *Electobuzz sees Mars and starts chasing after her; Mars runs like crazy while the othes laugh* Mars:"Call this thing back, Jupiter!" *Jupiter laughs and calls him back*

Page 2 Home