Can't believe I wrote this one as much as I love Nephrite!

-*Nephrite is at a bar getting a drink;Tiger Eye sits beside him and stares at him for a long time. Nephrite finally grows impatient.* Nephrite (slamming glass down):"WHAT?!" Tiger Eye:"Dad? It IS you!!!" *he embraces Nephrite, who pushes him away* "What? What's wrong?" Nephrite:"I'm not your dad." Tiger Eye:"Are you kidding? I look just LIKE you! Why you playing me?" Nephrite:"Coincidental resemblance." *he sips his drink* Tiger Eye:"No way! You're my father, and you and I both know it! I mean, what would mother say?" Nephrite:"What? I don't even KNOW your mother?" Tiger Eye:"You DON'T know my mother?! Some father you turned out to be! Hey, Mom!" *An older Naru appears through the doors and approaches Nephrite." Naru:"Hello. Don't you remember me?" Nephrite:"Huh?!" Naru (blushing):"Remember that night when you had too much to drink...?" *Nephrite begins to scream when he wakes up sweating; He looks around and sees no one* Nephrite:"Whew! That could have gone worse!" *He hears someone beside him; he slowly looks around only to see....NARU!* "AAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

-*The Moonlight Knight has several interviews with Jay Leno in the same week*

(Mon.) Jay:"This is the Lightnight Moon." *He is corrected* (Tues.) Jay:"This is the Nightbright Light." *He is corrected* (Wed.) Jay:"This is the Lightmoon Night." *He is corrected* (Thurs.) Jay:"This is the Midnight Light." *He is corrected* (Fri.) Jay:"This is the Lightright Moon." *Moonlight Knight has sweatdrop by now*

-Sailor Moon:"In the name of the moon, I'll punish you!" *Jedeite pulls his pants down and bends over* "In the name of my moon, I'll punish you!"

-*Fiore holds Earl's (Alan's) hand* Fiore:"Are we long lost brothers?" Earl:"I don't think so!!"

-*Mamoru speaks with Saffir and Seiya*:"You two think you could get a looks that doesn't copy mine?" *Saffir and Seiya look puzzled*

I know Hotaru's least favorite food is milk, but remember, these are jokes. Some don't have to make sense.

-*Hotaru drinks a sip of milk* So, you're laughing at me now, but that's alright. I drink milk and it will help my body grow big and strong." *takes another sip and grows some* "In a few years, I'll have enough power to take over this miserable planet!" *drinks more milk and turns into Mistress 9* "The future is NOW!"-->*narrator* Milk. It does a body good. *Mamoru sees Mistress 9* Mamoru:"It most certainly does! Milk's doing THAT body good!" *Usagi slaps him in the back of the head* "Ouch!"

-*Usagi comes in wearing a Playboy shirt* "Hey, everyone! Look at this *cute* bunny shirt I bought!" *Everyone else but Usagi knows what that symbol means and gets sweatdrops* "What did I say?"

-*Queen of Hearts comes running after Tuxedo Kamen; he's carrying several bunches of roses* Queen:"Those are MY roses! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!"

-Amazoness Quartet (to Usagi):"Silly Rabbit! Big dreams are best just for kids!" (from my good friend, Sailor Psychosis)

-*Minako somehow makes it to the finals of 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?'* Regis:"For $32,000, what's the second planet closest to the sun?" Minako:"Oh, duh! That's an easy one! Mars!" *Regis with a sweatdrop*:"Is that your final answer?" *Rei and the others watch at Usagi's house* Rei:"Did she just say what I think she said?" *Others nod in sequence*

-Sailor Moon (whispering to Chibi Moon):"How do those hand movements go again? I got so into my speech, I forgot how to move my hands and arms accordingly."

-*Jokingly, Haruka throws Michiru into the pool at a pool party. Michiru:"I can't swim!!" *Then, she realizes that she's in the 5 1/2 foot section of the pool and stands up blushing; Haruka has a sweatdrop*

-Chibi Usa:"I have news straight from the horse's mouth! Pegasus is really a human in anothe form." Pegasus:"I resent that!!"

-Minako and Rei argue over when men are REALLY from, Venus or Mars.

-(this refers to the manga, since Zoicite and Kunzite are straight in the manga only) Beruche:"Ta, ta! Off to have a date with the Four Generals!" Cooan:"Wow! We can quadruple date!" Beruche:"Well, no. I'm going out with all FOUR of them." *tosses her ponytail* Cooan:"Greedy brat!!"

-*Rei reads 'Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus'; Minako comes in* Rei:"Oh, this book is awesome! Men are from Mars....YUMMY!" Minako:"That sucks! Why can't the men be from Venus? I'M supposed to be the sailor senshi of love! You have all the luck! Are there any more books like that?" Rei (blushing from embarassment):"Well, there was one..." *Minako cuts her off* Minako:"Where is it?! I MUST have it!" *Rei, Minako, and Artemis go to the book store and Rei points to it; Minako stands agape (mouth wide open)* "'Mars And Venus Go On A Date'?!! What kind of title is that?!!" *gives a slight blush; Artemis laughs and Minako punches him in the back of the head*

-*Demando is walking down the beach with Neo Queen Serenity in his arms. She kisses him on the cheek and he blushes.* Demando (thinking):"Whoever said 'blondes have all the fun' most certainly was RIGHT!" *he wakes up* Demando:"Mannnn...that was wrong! People shouldn't be allowed to have dreams that they can't make come true!" *he eats his breakfast at the table and spills his wine, uh, I mean 'fruit punch'.* Safir:"You had that dream again, didn't you?" *Demando sits quitely, with his lip poked out*

-*Michiru, Usagi, and Ami just came in from swimming. They go into the changing room and Haruka gets up and follows; she is stopped by Michiru at the door* Michiru (raising a finger):"Not this time. Just wait for me out here." Haruka:"But..." Michiru:"If you're good, I'll let you help with the dressing next time." *Amara perks up* Usagi (clueless):"AWWWWW! How sweet! She wants to help you make salad, her favorite! Can I help? *she smiles, while Haruka, Ami, and Michiru have sweatdrops*

-*Sailor Moon whispers to Chibi Moon* "How do those hand movements go again? I got so into my speech, I forgot how to move my hands and arms accordingly."

-*Mamoru and Usagi go to an amusement park and Mamoru agrees with Usagi to play a 'pop the balloon' game. Forgetting that he's 'Mamoru' and not 'Tuxedo Kamen', he pulls out a rose and pops three balloons, only to win a doll that looks like Zoicite. Usagi surprisingly jumps back 2 feet out of terror, only to knock over four other people. Darien has a sweatdrop.*

-*Mercury, who looks serious, punches in information on her mini computer; Sailor Moon comes up.* Sailor Moon:"Figuring out something, Mercury?" Mercury:"Yes, something that I've been trying to figure out for months now." Sailor Moon:"Well...?" Mercury:"How does Chibi Chibi keep that hairstyle of hers up? I mean...those heart-shaped odango are seriously buggin' me!" *Sailor Moon falls over with a sweatdrop on head* -*Haruka and Michiru are at the snack bar at a movie theater; Yuuichiro (Chad) is working at the counter* Yuuichiro (with surfer boy accent):"Hi. I'm Yuuichiro. Can I take your order? NO, no. Wait. Let me start over, 'kay. Hi. I'm Yuuichiro. MAY I take your order?" Haruka:"We want a small popcorn." Yuuichiro:"We don't have small." Haruka:"Well, then a medium." Yuuichiro:"We don't have medium." Haruka:"Well, what do you have?" Yuuichiro:"Large, Chubby, and Super Chubby." Haruka:"Then, isn't the 'large' a 'small'? Yuuichiro:"Uh, I don't know. I'll have to check with my manager." Haruka:"Never mind! We'll take a large popcorn." *takes hand from around Michiru's neck and pulls out wallet* Yuuichiro:"Would you like fries with that?" Haruka (looking up, eyebrow twitching:"Now, WHY would we want fries with popcorn?!" Yuuichiro:"Uhh..I don't know. I'll have to check with my manager." *Haruka and Michelle fall over*

-*Minako tries out for the police squad; she is supposed to be training now* Officer:"Now, this guy will pretend to be a robber. You must capture him and read him his rights." the 'robber' sneaks to the safe, where Minako catches him* Minako (shoots, then yells):"FREEZE!! No! Wait! I did them out of order again!" *'robber' yelps in pain while officer stands with a seatdrop*

-*Minako reads out of any encyclopedia about the 9 planets.* Minako:"WOW! Cool! I didn't know we were THAT famous that they'd name the planets after us! Just wondering, though...they forgot about Tuxedo Kamen." Ami (with a sweatrop):"No, they didn't." Minako:"Really?!! I didn't know their was a 'Tuxedo Kamen' planet!" Where is it? *others fall over, including the cats.

-*Seiya, while filling in a bubble sheet for a test, ponders the hardest question of his/her (depending on whether you go by the anime or the manga) life:"Should I mark 'male' or 'female'?*

-Sailor Moon:"After seeing Jupiter's symbol, I just knew Venus's symbol was going to be a 5."

-Naru:"Sorry my voice sounds so bad, everyone....I have a cold."

-*Zoicite drives 85 mph in a car she stole and sees blue lights flashing in her rearview mirror.* "Damn! Why doesn't Nephrite ever get pulled over?!" *Nephrite stands watching in a narrow, dark alley* Nephrite:"Because I'm *that* much cooler than you, that's why!"

"Oh, I'm sorry...I though you were Saffir."

*Jadeite fills out an application for a job* Name:Jadeite Date:Not as often as I'd like, sadly Sex:Questions are getting a bit personal, aren't they? Position:Now, that's going too far!!

*The Generals are rehearsing playing the group 'U2' on television. They're at the airport* All:"It's a beautiful daaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy..." *an airplane flies overhead and Jadeite stops singing, only to fall to his knees and put his arms over his head while screaming* Zoicite:"Fool! Now, we have to do that scene over!!" Nephrite:"Man, get up!" Jadeite:"B-b-but, that p-plane almost..." *another one flies overhead; Jadeite resumes screaming* Malachite:"We can't go on like this..."

*Mimete and the other Witches 5 try their hand at 'Red Rover'; Mimet is chosen to run* Mimet (thinking):"Come on, Mimet! You can break them!! I'll go through Eudial and Tellu, since they're the weakest link...Goodbye!" *She runs towards Eudial and Tellu, who let go of each other's hands, only for Mimet to fall on the ground.* Mimet:"Hey, that's not fair!!" *other Witches laugh* Tomoe:"It's just a game, Mimet. Get up..."

What if the characters had a sudden case of amnesia...

Usagi:"Sailor WHO????" Ami:"When is our next exam again???" Rei:*places Ofuda scroll in a frame and hangs it up* "What? It looks cute...what else am I supposed to do with it?" Makoto:"Not quite sure if he looks like my old boyfriend..." Minako:"You won't get away from Sailor R!!" Chibi Usa:"Helios? Is that Spanish?" Setsuna:"Now, where did I put that Garnet Orb?" Haruka:"Now, where did I put those keys?" Michiru:"Haruka, could you get me my mirror? A crisis has occurred!!" *puts on lipstick* "Forgot my lipstick" Hotaru:"Got milk?" Mamoru:*hands over face* "Couldn't find my mask..."

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