Puk'emon
Act Two
(Scene two opens up in Ichiban's office. Very nice office, Ichiban is obviously an important person.)
Usagi (under her breath), "Smooth move, Assssscott! We were on our way over here anyway, but now we have to apologize for wrecking her crane!"
Ascott, "Shutup! I thought I saw Umi, and I was going to back up over her! It would be a lot easier if there were only two Mystic Nights!"
Charmander, "Char char, der!(that's with a 'k', moron)"
"BE QUIET!!" (A voice screeches out from behind a large curtain, two young men in speedos walk out)
Ym#1 & #2 (clears throa), "Allow us to introduce, The Fabulous Ms. Ichiban!"
Charmander(Eyes widening, little hearts start floating around her head), "Chaar Chaar!(Is it really you?)"
(Charmander scampers up to the first young man, he's about 5'6" chin length black hair, and icy grey eyes. Charmander looks him over for a second, then chirping delightedly, attaches herself to the boy's leg.)
Young man,"Uh miss, please-"
Charmander,"Charcharch!!!archarcharchar!!charcharchar!!(Oh it really is you, Android 17!! I've seen everything you've done!! I'm your biggest fan!! I worship the ground you walk on!)"
(Charmander is squeezing 17's leg so hard, his cute little toes are purple)
Usagi, (pulling at Charmanders tail), "Charmander! Stop it before they throw us out!"
(Ascott starts to leave)
Usagi,"Hey were are you going?"
Ascott," I just remebered, I saw a billboard for an explosives shop. I'm gonna go see if they can set me up with something portable, I've never tried blowing the Mystic Knights up before. Have fun guys!"
Usagi (shouts after him), "Your not a very convincing Brock!"
(A mean little face pokes out from behind the curtain), "17! Tenchi! open the God damned curtain! There's no air in here!"
(Tenchi and Android 17 look at each other nervously)
Tenchi,"Get back in your ball ding-dong, we're having a dramatic moment!"
Android 17,"Ok ok, let's try again."
(Tenchi and Android 17 look at each other nervously),
"Yes Ms. Ichiban. Right away Ms. Ichiban, Whatever you say Ms. Ichiban!"
(A male voice from behind the curtain),"Suck ups."(then a slapping sound)
(The curtains open to reveal Radditz, flanked by six more guys. Three on each side. Radditz's cheek has a handprint, and he doesn't look all that happy)
"Get out of the way you giant furball! I can't see past your humongous ass! And quit wagging your tail in my face, it bugs me!!!" (Radditz tries to move away) "No the other way!" (Radditz goes the other way) "No NO NO!! The other, other way!" (Radditz is real confused and just sort of stands there) "AUGH! GO STAND IN THE CORNER!!"
(Radditz goes to the corner. Sitting behind him is a very small vicious looking woman, with a tail),
"Who are these people,"(she shrieks),"They're cramping my style!"
Zorn, " How could you say that about Ms. Ichiban?"
Trunks & Sephiroth, "She has such beutiful hair!"
Sonic, "And she's so friendly!"
Wufie (Strutting a little in his speedo),"and she's got the best uniforms in town."
(Tenchi doesn't say anything because he's attempting to pry the lovestruck charmander off of 17)
Usagi(at a loss for words),"Well I just meant- hey wait! Those two are busy with the zippo lighter, and he's in the corner, why didn't you say anything?"(points to Brain)
Brain,"If you must know this is only a clever setup, by posing as a member of Ichiban's Bikini Squad, I am in an excellent postion to take over the world!"
Usagi(looks sceptical), "The Bikini Squad and world domination go hand in hand?"
Brain(sheepeshly),"In a roundabout sort of way."
Ichiban, "Shutup! She's spunky! I like spunk! We need more spunk around here! Radditz go get a pogo stick!" (Radditz dashes off, Ichiban chuckles),"I love to make him run!"
Ichiban (eyeing Usagi and Crash Raptor),"All joking aside, I do need more spunk, but not around here. See I'm building a giant resort over near the reef and I need-"
Usagi,"OoohOOh! I know! You have a tentacool problem, and you need us to help you get rid of them!"
Ichiban (sarcastically),"What does this look like, Pok'emon? I have a Saibaman problem, the nasty little sonsabitches are everywhere! They crap all over the equiptment, blow stuff up! I can't win! I even tried putting out little "Saibaman Motels" but the little pricks wouldn't go in!"
Ichiban,"You have no idea, any way I'll give you and your little friends a giant reward if you can get rid of those nasty bastards, Hell I'll give you a giant reward and Duo Maxwell!" (whispers to Usagi),"He's to feminine to be on the Bikini Squad. But he's very enthusiastic, you'll just love him!"
(Radditz comes bouncing back in) Ichiban,"So whatdya' say? Do we have a deal?"
Charmander(stops hugging 17) "CHAR!(NO!)"
(Ichiban and Usagi were just about to shake hands) Usagi, "Why not Charmander? It's just a few Saibamen."
Charmander(shakes head), "Char char cha-man-deeer char char! cha-man-deeer char char! cha-man Der!(How could you even think about killing all those saibamen?! You evil people! blah blah blah blah blah.....)" readers note: Misty is way to into speeches and its boring, so for everyones sake, this little speech got nipped in the bud : ) (Charmander storms out)
Ichiban (shrugs), "Call me if you reconsider."
written by Ichiban Saiyan
