“How very curious!” said Carrot, gazing upon another thatch-roofed house with a gate, this one if a deeper state of disrepair than Chocolate’s. A strange tune was drifting towards Carrot’s ears, the sound of a whistle the most distinct noise among the chaos.
He walked through the gate to find a large table set for tea for about thirty, steam rising up around the table. Two men were sitting at the end of the table, singing the weird song. One of them ha a tall green hat and leather shoulder plates on, and the other had, oddly enough, styled his hair to look like rabbit ears, and they hung down around the shoulders of his white kimono.
“A very merry unbirthday to you!” the one who looked Carrot’s brother sang above the honks and whistles of numerous tea pots. “Let’s celebrate with another cup of tea, a very merry unbirthday to youuuuuuuu....!”
“Gateau!” Carrot shouted at the huge one in the hat. “You’ve corrupted my brother!”
“No room, no room!” shouted the two, as they ran down the long table towards Carrot.
“Just look at his hair!” cried Carrot.
“Niisan!” said the rabbit-eared one. “Come and join us for a cup of tea, brother.”
Gateau grumbled and pulled out a chair for Carrot.
“Say, Gateau,” said the March Chestnut, “d’you know, it’s Carrot’s unbirthday!”
“Well, gosh! What a small parallel universe!”
The two burst out into song again, wishing Carrot a merry unbirthday. Carrot couldn’t help but groan to hear Marron singing. He might have a good voice, but it was downright creepy.
The two nut cases sat down and began drinking their tea.
“Now, Brother, there was something you wanted to know?” said Marron civilly.
“Yes, I was wondering where I could find the -”
“Clean cup! Clean cup! Move down! Move down!” cried Gateau. He picked Carrot up, slung him over his shoulder, and plopped him back at another seat a few chairs down.
“Now,” continued Marron, as though nothing had happened, “what were you saying?”
“Start at the beginning,” advised Gateau, “and when you come to the end - stop!”
“Well, I was sitting on the riverbank with Dinah, when -”
“Who’s Dinah?” asked Marron, sticking out his tongue and panting like a dog.
“Gaah... She’s my cat. Actually, it’s a him, and his name is Hentai Cat, but it said ‘Dinah’ in the script, and I think Yaeko’s getting mad at me for deviating from the story line too much.”
“Anyway, continue,” urged Gateau.
“Clean cup!” shouted Marron, dragging his brother down to a new chair.
“Let’s change the subject,” said the Mad Cake, banging his fist on the table to get attention. The tea services rattled and some cups fell of the table. “Why is a raven like a writing desk?”
“Riddles?” wondered Carrot. “I didn't think Gateau had enough brains for riddles... OK, why is a raven like a writing desk?”
“Beg your pardon?” asked Gateau.
“Why is a raven like a writing desk?” repeated Carrot.
Letting out a yelp, the March Chestnut jumped into the arms of the Mad Cake, who didn’t seem to mind in the least. “Look out!” cried his brother. “He’s stark raving mad!”
“Look, Marron, snap out of it and help me find Chocolate! I don’t have time for this.”
“Time! Time!” shouted Gateau. “Who’s got the time!”
“I’m late, I’m late!” shouted the Chocolate Rabbit as she ran through the gate. “No time to say hello, good bye! I’m late! I’m late! I’m late!”
“Chocolate!” exclaimed Carrot.
“I’m so very, very late!” cried a distressed Chocolate.
“Well of course you’re late,” said Gateau, yanking Chocolate’s pocket watch out of her hands.
“Why, this watch is exactly two days slow!” cried Marron.
To both Carrot’s and Chocolate’s horror, Gateau opened the watch’s back.
“Well of course it’s late, this clock is full of wheels!”
The two loons began to pry the cogs and wheels out of the timekeeper and filled it with assorted tea-time condiments. Gateau shut toe watch, cut off some extra jam, and wound it up. The clock began to ring like crazy.
“Mad watch! Mad watch!” shouted Marron, leaping into Gateau’s arms once again.
“Oh no!” cried Chocolate.
“Two days slow, that’s what it is,” concluded Gateau after smashing with a huge mallet.
“Oh no!” wailed the Chocolate Rabbit. “My watch! And it was an unbirthday present, too!”
“In that case...!” cried the March Chestnut and the Mad Cake, and began to sing a toast to the rabbit before throwing her out into woods.
“Dammit, you guys!” shouted Carrot and huffed off in the direction they had thrown the bunny, leaving the pair to sing in peace.
“I’ve had enough nonsense!” exclaimed Carrot as he walked away. “I’m going home, where I can be stupid in my own right! Who cares where she’s going anyway... I hope it’s to go find herself a nice husband for herself so she’ll leave me alone.”
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