THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR THE SORCERER HUNTERS SAY, by Fala
(Fala's comment: I am one sad, strange little child, ne?)
CARROT: That's right, Marron! I've retired from girl-chasing and have
decided to take up a life of peace and virtue ::places a wreath of flowers on
his head and looks very pleased with himself:: ooommmmmmmmnnnnnnnn.....
BIG MOMMA: Zaha, stop being such a bitch!
GATEAU: *whining* It's not fair! I want a transformation sequence, too!
WAH!!!
TIRA: Mou! I'm through with this horrid scrawny frame! Chocie, bring me a
television, a couch, and a tub of bacon grease!
CHOCOLATE: I'm a hooker and I'm okay...
MARRON: (singing like that dude on Rocky Horror Picture Show) I'm just a
sweet transvestite...from transexual transylvania...
TIRA: Chocolate, stop being such a bitch!
DOTTA: Hey, Carrot *cough* you wanna slip into the *cough* Stellar church and
*cough, hack* have a puff?
BIG MOMMA: Dotta-Chan, cover your ears so mommy can swear...
CARROT: Milphey, stop being such a bitch!
MILLEFEULLE: No! No! No! This is all crap! ::rummages furiously through his
caboodle:: Gods, where is it?! I can't fight evil without my special
strawberry lip gloss!
ZAHA TORTE: Banzai! They're here! Alright Sorcerer Hunters, let's open up a
can!
CARROT: I'm gonna use my sword...
GATEAU: Marron, if you don't give me an answer soon, I'm gonna call Jerry
Springer!
TIRA: Marron? Nah...If anyone's a closet pervert it's me!
CHOCOLATE: That's it! I need more clothes!
GATEAU: Marron, stop being such a bitch!
MARRON: "Are you straight?"? Is that a trick question?
CARROT: Go away, Chocolate, or I'll get out the whip...
GATEAU: How odd...I seem to have acquired a British accent...
BIG MOMMA: Sorcerer Hunters! I am in need of some serious help! This
crossword puzzle is driving me crazy!
MARRON: Look Tira, I dyed my hair pink!
CHOCOLATE: *high helium-ish voice* Niiihaaaaaoooo!!! Darling! ::glomps Carrot
and plays with his face:: Carrot happy to see Chocolate???
MILLEFUELLE: No! No! No! This is all crap! ::digging frantically through his closet:: Gods, where is it? I can't face Zaha Torte without my lucky pink mini-skirt!
TIRA: Big Momma, I demand a switch! Either give me a raise or give me
different shoes!
CARROT: ::singing ridiculously:: I'M IN THE MOOD FOR...CHEESE!!!"
DOTTA: Momma, I look too plain in this dress...*lightbulb* but it would look
smashing with fishnet tights, ne?
GATEAU: Urrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaah! ::draws back his fist and charges at Zaha
Torte. Right as he's about to sock him, Gateau leaps behind Zaha and tickles
him ruthlessly::
MILPHEY: Carrot, I'll be your bitch!
MARRON: Look Tira, I tye-dyed my kimono!
CARROT: So, what's our mission this time, Big Momma?
BIG MOMMA: I'm not assigning anything really, just go look for evil and do
your Sorcerer Hunter-ish duty for a few hours.
CARROT: Okaaaay...
BIG MOMMA: ::rolls her eyes:: Just keep yourselves busy long enough for me to
run to the salon and get a perm, OKAY??!!?!
MILLEFUELLE: No! No! No! This is all crap! ::throwing miscellaneous bottles
and jars from the cabinet above the sink:: Son of a baka, Marron must've
taken my favorite shampoo AGAIN!!! GRRRRRR!!!!!!!
GATEAU: Carrot, you suck! CARROT: Oh yeah??? Well, you're...um...ugly!
CHOCOLATE: *quite displeased* Big Momma, it seems that there was a glitch in
my last transformation sequence for my suspender straps failed to
materialize...
MARRON: Tira, may I please borrow your whip?
TIRA: Sure, Marron, why?
MARRON: Because my brother's acting stupid...
CARROT: *pensively* Hmmmm...Tira...or Chocolate?...Tira...or Chocolate? Hmmm... eeny meeny miny moe...
::Marron sits, wearing nothing but underwear, before Gateau, who is clad in gold shortie shorts and matching shoes. Marron wraps his legs seductively around Gateau's middle middle and pulls him towards him. Marron is singing:: Touch-a, touch-a, THOUCH me, I wanna be di-i-irty...!
NARRATOR: ::doing his usual thingy at the end:: ...But the people do have one
great hope, for there exists a secret band of heroes, whose duty is to
challenge these evil magic users, and bring them to justice. They are known
as...*pauses and examines the script with a furrowed brow*...The Foo
Fighters? What the hell...?!
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