Fear of Intimacy

Chapter 1


          Another long night, another cold shower, life as a gundam pilot was no bowl of cherries, literally. Stepping out of the shower, he wrapped a towel around his black hair, and his ears in attempt to muffle out the moans and groans of ecstasy reverberating from the walls surrounding him. He grunted while rolling his eyes, the situation worsened from simple nosebleeds to stark raving jealousy. Padding around his dark room, “The straight one they call me”, he began to pace frantically, and “I have desires too I mean, so what if my libido is not active, this is injustice!” The moans from the left of him ended, after what seemed like hours, and not long after they had stopped, like if it were competition, loud thumping and bumping noises were coming from the right. He cupped his ears and cradled himself in a fetal position on his bed, waiting for the next passionate couple to end their nightly rampages on each other. Not only were they driving his sleep out the window, but also really pushing the fact that he was, by all means, alone.


          In the beginning, he was uncomfortable with Trowa and Quatre’s relationship coming to light, but with Heero and Duo around as a non-couple comforted his sanity some, for a time. That was of course until Duo’s incessant flirting got the best of the Japanese pilot and began to spend each night keeping the whole house awake. Compared to the first couple, they must have been crazy between the sheets. He had once compared the two relationships, out of mere boredom, to this: Trowa and Quatre, loving emotional marital sex, okay, they love each other, I can see that, it’s fairly obvious. Heero and Duo: two little fuck bunnies amusing themselves, pleasure-a-plenty but nothing obviously tangible where Heero’s concerned. “Where am I going wrong?” 


          Once he finally grew acceptant to the fact that he was a lone pilot, the nosebleeds began but was very capable of drowning out any interference by means of meditation and doing his kata. Soon enough however, no matter how hard he tried, could not stop the panting and pushing from seeping into his mind and grabbing it, shaking it, and tossing it to the side tell it that he wants it too. That very night, he hit the breaking point, he couldn’t take it anymore and by all means he was going to find out what he was doing wrong the next morning.





He covered his eyes with his hands, shielding out intruding rays of light, all the while wondering what woke him up in the first place. “Shut up asshole and go get some orange juice! I’m not running all the way to the store when you are fully capable of going yourself.” ‘Ah, Duo and Heero are fighting again surprises never end!’ he thought. The screen door slammed and an unintentionally audible “Jerk!” echoed throughout the house.


He stumbled lazily out of bed, for lack of anything better to do, and figured now would be as good a time as any to have breakfast. “Maxwell must you be so loud? Some of us are trying to sleep you know?” he grumbled all the way to the kitchen, pulling out some eggo waffles from the freezer and popping them into the toaster. “Heero’s just being a self absorbed shit-face this morning that’s all. He’s just cranky because I kept him up so late” the braided youth grinned triumphantly while stretching his arms. Wufei rolled his eyes grabbing the waffles and stuffing them into his mouth. “I just wish he was as nice out side of the bedroom as he is in the bedroom ya know? You’d think he was still in denial after all this time or something,” he said letting out a yawn and scratching his head. The Chinese swallowed hard the remainder of his once appetizing breakfast and quickly padded over to his chair, picking up his Learn French in 10 Easy Lessons book, refusing to listen to anymore of Duo’s gripes about his relations with Heero.


Figuring he was left in peace as he heard Duo’s footsteps leaving his little reading area, he opened the book ever so slowly, quickly eyeing the room to see if the braided boy was still around, and began to study. Not even five pages into chapter 7 (which is where he left off the last time), a chestnut set of bangs peeked up above the rim of the book and giggled. “What cha readin’,” he chirped. “Laisse-moi faire.” Duo’s eyebrow twitched. “What? Less mwaw fehr? What’s that? German?” Wufei closed the book with a snap, “it’s French you uncultured moron. It means, ‘LEAVE ME BE!’ ALONE THAT IS.” Duo stumbled backward onto his rear, “Hey, relax, no need to be such a loaded canon. I was just curious.” ‘Loaded canon, boy you have no idea’ he thought. “Listen to me and listen to me very good for I am only going to say this once Maxwell. Your shagging with Heero, and Trowa with Quatre last night, it drove me crazy, I didn’t sleep a wink until you all were done. Is there some kind of competition between the four of you because frankly it’s making me insane. I can’t block it out anymore and I just wish you guys would either find another room or quiet it down. You are all really stepping on my last nerves.”


Duo sat on the floor in front of the Chinese pilot, contemplating what he could say. He honestly never realized what they were doing at night disturbed him; he had assumed the walls were sound proof. He got up and bowed apologetically, “I’ll ask Heero if he would keep it a little quieter, but I’m not giving you any guarantees, ‘cause, as you probably know, I’m the loud one.” He looked at Wufei shyly, making no doubt intentional eye contact, and apologized again, turning on his heels heading to the bathroom, he waved indicating he was going to be taking a shower and didn’t want to be disturbed.


The raven-haired boy sat there bemused by Duo’s charms. ‘Did he just apologize? Was he flirting with me? He made eye contact and he never makes eye contact. I think he was flirting with me!’ he tossed ideas back and forth through his sexually frustrated head, that soon he was absolutely positive Duo was giving him subtle hints, and that he was attempting to use his good looks to get himself out of the embarrassing situation. He slapped himself, when did he ever find Duo good looking if anything attractive. Another barrage of ideas popped into his head that Duo was trying to seduce him into being like the others although at the very thought of it, he was questioning his sexuality. Hearing the shower running down the hall, he began to imagine the bather beneath the steamy hot water, lathering his long hair and scrubbing soap all over his sleek toned body. Wufei was banging his head on the armrest of his favorite chair. “Get nasty thoughts out of head. Get nasty thoughts out of head” he repeated over and over until he noticed he was growing all the more aroused while simply thinking of the American nude, showering, with all the soapy bubbles and steam, wonderful smelling aromas wafting about the room, driving his senses delirious with reluctant anticipation of what could become of the situation if he were so bold. He wasn’t however, and he knew he wasn’t, the Chinese didn’t even know if those were the braided boy’s intentions, to seduce him like he was. “This is probably what drove Heero over the edge” he sighed in defeat. Yes, the Heero factor sprung to mind, a somewhat sobering revelation, leaving Duo as only a mere fantasy, he got up and turned on the radio, and slumped back down into his chair to continue learning how to speak French.





“He doesn’t look at me the way that you do” the voice purred lustfully into his ear, while groping his chest looking for a pert nipple to play with. “And you aren’t as rough as he is, I like it better this way.” He felt a warm breath crawl slowly, almost painfully so up his neck, planting gentle kisses along his jaw line. He moved his hands up the sides of the figure hovering slightly above him, like some unreachable angel, wanting his body to connect with the other. He grew warm between the legs and nearly begged for the other to stay and keep his company, all the while the other began slipping out of his grasp, but laying tender kisses down his torso while griping his tense thighs in a skillfully soothing manner. He shivered anxiously under the feather light embraces, yearning for more, and wanting the other to give him a release he so very needed. The other stuck it’s thumbs in his waistband and tugged his pants down very cautiously past his hips and down his legs while resting it’s chest on his throbbing erection and licking his navel after they were removed, making him gasp at the contact he had never felt from another before. He began to give little instinctive thrusts as the other massaged his hips moving toward his length, to taking it between it’s smooth hands and stroking it at a excruciatingly slow pace…


“Damnit Heero, talk to me. There’s something wrong, why won’t you tell me?” “Must we discuss it here? I know he’s asleep but if you don’t quiet down you will wake him up. I told you already the last time we had this conversation. We are NOT in item okay? What we do at night is just a physical thing and the next morning I don’t need you leaching onto me like some lost puppy. I am not your boyfriend and I’d appreciate you not telling that to any stranger you see on the street. You know I nearly gotten beaten up at the grocery store from a gang of punks who are really against the idea? If they were a little bit smarter, they might have not bought the idea that they were mistaken, and I would have been pummeled into the ground seeing as I was greatly outnumbered. You might think it’s cute but it’s not. Now give it up.”

Chapter 2>>>