Step 19: Opposition
"Shun…Shun…answer me!" Kou yelled, shaking his brother's shoulders. He waved his hand several times in front of Shun's face, but the boy's eyes didn't respond. They stayed staring ahead, like he wasn't alive at all. But he was. He was still breathing, and his heart was still breathing. The only thing that didn't seem right, was his mind. His mind controlled his body, and what he thought. And his mind couldn't escape the feeling of guilt, or its effects. And as an older brother, having your younger sibling act like a total zombie wasn't very comforting. Kou tried to make his otouto gain control over his thoughts again, but yelling into his ear. No response. He just wouldn't. But for once, he spoke.
"Kou…"
"Yes?" he asked anxiously.
"Leave me alone." He lay on his side and turned, so that his back was facing a speechless and angry Kou. What have the Gemini done with my brother? What will they do to me? The Amoral Gemini's slithery and sinister voice responded his thoughts. Not even his thoughts were safe from them.
We will do nothing to you. Seeing your brother act like this, isn't it painful? That is enough punishment, isn't it?
It is enough! You didn't mention anything about punishment when we agreed!
But you didn't mention anything about opposing us when you agreed either.
I won't fight!
Then you can kill.
I won't kill either!
You are breaking the deal. You can't do that.
He didn't respond. To respond only meant to struggle to fight back in a war he couldn't win. He knew that it was right. He would be breaking the deal. Had it not been him in the first place who had agreed? True, under force he had agreed, but he had agreed none the less. So he stopped struggling. He sat and waited. He just stopped thinking about the Amoral and kept his mind on the fire. It flamed an orange red color, with hints of blue in the center. Something so simple, could cause harm. Something meant to help mankind, has destroyed mankind on its way. Betrayal, they could call it, but it was they who first invented it in the first place. It was betrayal by none other than those betrayed. Everything in the world could harm and destroy, whether it was supposed to or not. Even the hands of an innocent thirteen-year-old, could lead to the death of a group of people. Shun had gotten one already, hadn't he? And the Amoral would be sure to make both of them get the rest.
What were these Amoral? Preying on the minds of those they knew didn't want to kill? Why not choose someone who was a born killer? Why choose him? They loved to torture, is that it? So they chose to torture them? Were they really that vulnerable…that weak? No, he wasn't weak! But then why did they choose them? The way they planned to kill wasn't hard, anyone could have followed it.
Picking off one by one wasn't the most brave strategy he could use, but that was the way the Amoral had chosen to do it. Cowardly, just cowardly. But how come it seemed like they would win? He didn't want to let them win…but he repeated his own words. "You don't get everything you want." He said to no one in particular. He buried his head in his hands and closed his eyes. This was all so confusing. He wanted it all to end. But then the words echoed in his head again. He wished he had bit his lip when he had said that. Then none of it would have ever come out and bother his conscience. He had to do something to make it stop. And it would. One way or another, he would make sure of that. And the Amoral wouldn't be able to do anything about it.
And for once, the Amoral wouldn't be able to stop him, not this time, not ever. The idea made him smile slightly, though it was only a forced smile. For once and for all, he would destroy them and they wouldn't be able to harm any other people ever again. To destroy the Amoral seemed like such a prize. No more blood, no more deaths, no more good-byes and no more guilt. He would destroy them.
Even if they dragged him down with them.
They wanted blood and death?
So why not his?
Step 20: Guilt
One…just one…but if it's only one…how come I feel like this? How many hours have I been lying here on the cold floor, without anything inside me? How many hours…it seems like days, like years, like centuries, yet it only has been hours. Simple hours and nothing more, nothing less.
How long has this feeling been dining on me? How long until it eats me up, until nothing is left, but an empty shell, inhabited by the Amoral? Like a hermit crab, who will move in to what is empty? I wasn't empty before. The Amoral wanted this body, and they fought for it, beating me down for it. And they're winning. They have set a beast upon me, one that cannot be pushed back with physical force of any kind. This feeling…is guilt, isn't it?
Clever, that I have to say. They are quick with ways to torture one's mind, aren't they? They should try it themselves one day. Then they can feel how effective it is, and how fast it gets to one's heart. If they have hearts. They probably don't. It would take a heart to care, and they didn't care. Maybe they did. But they only cared if they won or not. That was not the kind of care a heart was supposed to give, that was what a mind would think of. Think, not care. Decide, not do. The mind and the heart are so evenly matched, it is hard to tell which would win.
Gomen nasai, Kou. I am so sorry for not responding. I must be worrying you very much. But I do wish you'd leave me alone. I want to face this feeling…this guilt…alone. You can't help. You didn't see the blood on your hands, the warm and deep red liquid staining it. The stain won't go away. No matter how many years pass. It won't fade. You can't see it, but I can, clear and still as deep red as the day I saw it. Nor do you have to suffer for what I have done. Obey them, Kou, so that this may all be over. I want this all to be over so soon!
But you don't everything you want, isn't that right, Kou? That's what you said.
Maybe I could die. Then, it would all stop. If I die, then the Amoral couldn't do anything about it. I'll lay here and die, that's it. You could get on without me, you were always so much stronger. Then, it wouldn't hurt anymore, and the guilt wouldn't be able to catch up with me. The stain…I don't know if it would go away, but I do hope it will. But to lay here waiting is too long for me to bear. Why not…make it quicker?
When I die…will I go to heaven, Kou? Have I been a good person? You said that the Amoral killed, not me. Is that true? There's only one way to find out…
If our parents as you where I am…tell them that I've gone on a long, long trip. To somewhere that's far away. Tell them that I'm afraid I can't come back, but remember to reassure them that it's none of their fault. Tell them that I love them…and make sure they don't cry. I don't think I am worthy of seeing those I love shed tears for me. The world would be better without me, and even this digiworld. Why? Because I would bring this Amoral Gemini down with me. The world will be better without them.
The digidestined, and the Gemini…I can't kill anymore. If I do, I'm afraid I'll die painfully. If I do this now…it will not be painful…will it?
Shun reached out his hand for a sharp shard of rock lying nearby. He held it in his hand, and a silver tear slid down his face.
I am holding it now, aniki. Why am I crying and smiling at the same time? I think it is because I am happy, that all this could end. Kou, go find some way to stop them enemy. Without one, the other cannot do so well. Then, you can go home. Sorry to leave you with this burden, but I will complete my part of this deal.
When I'm gone, we can meet in heaven. And father and mother will be there, and these digidestined. And when they come, I'll tell them that I'm sorry. I hope they forgive me. And I will tell you that I'm sorry, and I know you'll forgive me. Everyone will be happy, and the Amoral will go the other way, down. When we meet in heaven, I will cry again, Kou. Out of happiness. And I'll wait for that day until I cry. I'll wait forever and ever for it. So until them, goodbye Kou.
Don't you dare! You can't kill me!
This isn't goodbye….because we will see each other. You are too late, Amoral.
This is, see you later, aniki…
Step 21: One Last Choice
A cold and injured body lay on the floor of a cold cave, the fire burning it's ever red and orange color, with a hint of blue in the middle. And a pool of the same red lay by the side of the boy, getting larger by the second. The face of a thirteen-year-old reflected in the deep red liquid, a face that seemed so tired. Closed eyes and pale skin. And the crumpled body lay with a shard of rock in his hand. And its sharpest tip, stained with the same dark liquid, was now lying in the pool. His hands were in the pool, washing off the stain that only he could see. And something seemed peculiar. This had been caused with his own hands, yet he was smiling. And why? Because he was glad that all this bloodshed, could end with his own.
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This fight I can win. This fight I don't have to struggle. And I hope Shun can find a way to get himself out of this too. And now I'm going to leave. I'll leave smiling. Just to show the Amoral that I am afraid. And if the digidestined find my body, just to tell them that I'm sorry.
Kou walked straight into the digidestined camp, not saying a word, he stood there, while the others looked at him angrily. He took their stares, and let them eat him up inside. He stood there, waiting for them to make the first move. They did, a few seconds later. "What are you doing here!" T.K. yelled, Kari and Ran restraining him from foolishly attacking. Kou didn't respond. "You better leave before we attack you!" Kou saw a pocketknife on the ground, and picked it up. Immediately, the digidestined and Gemini backed away.
"You better not try anything!" Tai warned, in front of the others. Kou smiled at them, and held the dagger in a position like he was going to stab someone. He did. The digidestined's eyes widened as they saw the knife go through his body, and gasped when Kou took it out, and crumpled to the ground, the knife in hand. They immediately rushed to him. He may be an enemy, but he was still someone.
"Joe, do you have bandages?" Sora asked, kneeling over Kou. Kou shook his head weakly, and looked upward, into a shocked T.K.'s face.
"You…are his brother?" T.K. nodded. Kari had her hand covering her mouth. Rei was standing there, unable to comprehend what was happening. Mimi was on her knees, next to Sora, who was trying desperately to help. Joe was rummaging in his bag to find some bandages. Izzy was kneeling next to Tai, and they were both trying to understand what had just happened. Ran was standing next to Rei, his hand on her shoulder, biting his lip. Kou smiled. "Gomen…nasai…" With that, Kou's head limped to the side, and the digidestined stared at his life wisp away. Suddenly, his forehead started to glow, and his bangs blew upward. The symbol faded away, and something black and ghost-like came out of it. They all stared at it as it flew up into the air, and withered away, screaming horribly.
"Was this what Gemini meant when he said that…the enemy might not necessarily be evil? Did he do this for us? What happened to his brother?" Izzy whispered, yet something told them that they didn't have to worry.
"The war is over. We have won." Joe stated.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the conclusion of Project Gemini! Hope you all had fun! Don't worry, I'll keep my promise with Matt…just wait for something to come out, under my pen name! ^_^
