Or...The story of how Scap the shape shifter became a pixie.
Written by: Scap *Giggle giggle* “This piccolo pixie site is really cool, I wonder if they’d let me join?” *BANG BANG BANG!* “Yes? Can I help you?” (I was going to say “What the hell do you think your doing banging so hard like that!?!?” but that wouldn’t make me look like the nice person that I am now would it?) “Miss Anaconda requested to see you, it is a matter of state that you come right now” A tall, prim and neat man in a grey uniform and a face that could turn fire to ice stood before me. ”Miss who? Why would she ask for me if it’s a state matter?” All of a sudden I was being dragged into a car (a VERY big car) “Ah Miss Scap I presume? I am Miss Anaconda. The reason I have asked for you to be brought to me is that I run a private interview service and I have got a client that will pay dearly if some one can find the answer to a question of theirs, and it is to my knowledge that you once worked as a freelance interviewer.” “So what if I was? What’s in it for me?” I was still very confused about all of it, the only thing that had gone in was that she said something about money and that is all I am interested in “All in due time Miss” “Just call me Scap” “Ok Scap, but please help your sel….” She had only just noticed that my mouth was full of roasted peanuts. “Ha ha ha isn’t she just such a character! Ha ha ha! But back to business if you will help me I will give you 25% of the money” “WHAAAAAT!!!!!!! And let you have 75% make it an 50/50 and I’ll think about it” Let me cut a looooooolng story short we had a talk she went over some stuff again she told me why it was a state mater (apparently she had received so many calls asking the same question that she had had less and less business) I agreed but only when she had offered 45% of the money “So what is the big question then er…. Is there life on mars? Er.. does T.V brainwash you?” “No it’s much bigger, does Piccolo wear underpants, and if so what kind.” “What? No way I can’t do that! It’s like asking me to prove if God is real!” After a little more talking and some planing about what to do with my parents everything was settled and I would start thinking up how I would find Piccolo as soon as I got home. “Hello sugar, been out for a walk? Oh I just had some wonderful news you have been picked to represent your school at the national reading fair! But the down side is you have to go alone and you also have to go in two days, I don’t think I should let you go.” Oh no if I can’t go I won’t be able to interview Piccolo and get my money, time for operation A “But Mummy pleeeease let me go I’ll be very good and I wont talk to strangers and I’ll get you lots of presents and it will be good for me AND you because it will prepare us both for when I am old enough to go on holiday by my self pleeeeeas?” “Well” “PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE?????” “Ok but only if you call me every day and behave your self all the time” “YEEEEESSSS!!!!!!!!!” So it was done and I was going to get my interview (and money!) lets skip to when I finally got where I was going. “Why the hell did I have to go third class?!? My back is killing me!” “Miss! Miss! Miss Scap your limo is waiting for you. Can I take your bag?” “Er sure what ever” A limo? For me? Cool! I got in the limo and who should I find there? Only Miss Anaconda. “Hi glad you could come, I have just found out that you are a shape shifter and can alter your appearance, am I right?” “Yup! I am a shape shifter all right, that’s how I got most of my interviews” Ah so many memories so many lies to my mum and dad. “Well anyway I think that it would be a good idea if you changed your look.” “Why?” “Well your going to meet a lot of the Z gang and if you get into trouble with one of them you can just change shape and carry on with your research” she looked at me expecting me to understand. “Research? A lot of the Z gang? I thought I was just going to interview Piccolo! And what do you mean research?” “Research as in getting lots of background on him finding out stuff that he wouldn’t necessarily tell you, find stuff that you could use as blackmail, hon take a tip from me the more things you have on this guy the more you can blackmail out of him ha ha ha ha ha ha!” “Yes but you still haven’t told me why I am going to see a lot of the Z gang, I like to know what I am going to be doing!” The words 'She’s mad, she’s mad,' where running through my mind. “Where else do you expect to get information on Piccolo?” she turned and smiled a knowing smile at me, creepy! We arrived at the hotel that she was paying for me to stay in. For the rest of the day I worked out who I was going to see first, second, third etc, etc, etc. What I would ask and how I would act with each on. After dinner I went straight to bed because I had to get up early for my first interview. Morning all of you, told ya I would be getting up early. Stay tuned to find out who I am going to see next time on...THE BIG QUESTION!!!" Scap would love to hear from you! Please direct all comments to Scap here. |
