Another ER Visit?!?!?!
Mood:  d'oh
This CRAZY child is going to be the death of me! Those of you who know us well, well...you know I can only be talking about one of my children (Although the baby is well on his way to being the same way!) JONAH!!! He had a seizure (I think, I wasn't right there when it happened) and took a fall down oh...just a "few" stairs. Hurt his left foot. SIGH!!!! I NEED A BREAK! Those of you who know us well ALSO know that Jonah broke his RIGHT FOOT in September and got the cast off in the middle of October. (This one was from jumping off of the back of the couch) I am just going to get "Bad Mom" tattooed onto my forehead to remove all doubt.

OK, so we haven't yet gone to the ER, even though my child who doesn't feel pain is complaining of pain. "WHY?!?!?" you ask? OH...that would be because I was on my way out to the pharmacy today to pick up the life-saving medications that get passed out around here like they're going out of style and my VAN WOULDN'T START. Beautiful. So, as you can see...my day went well. I mean, no one turned blue, no major seizures, no one choked on anything, so all in all...things are OK. So what... it doesn't matter that I am STILL in my pajamas, didn't get a shower, didn't get ANY laundry folded and that the dishes that I did this morning are still in the dishwasher. We got brownies made. (Heck...I think that was yesterday...) Crap. I accomplished NOTHING today. Well, I DID get that load of dishes into the dishwasher! I checked the mail. See...it wasn't all for nothing.

I spent HOURS trying to figure out an email problem, just to have Verizon "HELP" people tell me that they can't help with an email problem. (HUH?). I figured out what the problem was, and it was on their end so I contacted them again and was told the same thing (GRRRR...my number one pet peeve of all time is STUPID PEOPLE!) so, I basically (and I was SO NICE...that was tough) told her that the customer service that I was receiving was unacceptable. Of course, what is it that we ALWAYS hear when the "whatever" really is unacceptable? "I'm sorry you feel that way." Notice its not "I'm sorry I'm an idiot." or "I'm sorry that our policy sucks." Its that ZERO ACCOUNTABILITY thing that drives me NUTS! And then...Jonah falls down the stairs. LOVELY! So, in the middle of me trying to explain my position to "Vicky" the faceless idiot, she pops up on my screen "The verizon representative requests that you close this resolved trouble ticket" WELL... I CERTAINLY wasn't going to close it out. HA...that showed them....right? Powerless at my own computer. Powerless. Sad...huh? Well, I showed them too...because I spent the following HOURS upgrading the software so that the problem fixed itself. YIKES....I'm so tired of this computer that I had to sit here and vent! I'm a sick puppy.

OK, when my village idiot gets home (that's his name), I may have to take Jonah for an x-ray. I love this house! Until next time...

Another Day...More Craziness!
Mood:  not sure
Hi Everyone...

Saturdays are so much fun! HA! The twins don't have school and so my brain is fried by the time bedtime rolls around! They are best friends and worst enemies all rolled into one. They locked my sister in their bedroom today. Jonah had the idea and told Daniel to go lock the door when she was in there. (I've got the doorknob turned around so that they can't lock it from the inside...not a problem now, but a couple years ago, Jonah would hide when he was having seizures, he'd get scared and he'd lock the door!) So, well, what do you say? They help each other with everything...even if its too naughty for words!

They are still awake, watching a sci-fi movie about man-eating rhinoceros beatles...hmmmm. I think I'm too tired to fight it. They just informed me that "Dinocroc" is on next...I may have to put my foot down eventually.

Still in burnout mode. I can't seem to get any good sleep. Sam only woke up once last night but I am still exhausted. Not sure what the solution to this is...maybe sleeping for a week? Oh, that sounds heavenly...but I don't guess it will happen. I'm going to go to sleep earlier tonight and maybe get some decent sleep. Not gonna hold my breath, but maybe it will happen.

Nothing new going on today. Hopefully nothing new going on tomorrow either...boring is good. Kids don't get that. Boring is SOOOO good. Boring and sleep! Jon is always gone on weekends, so I should, in theory, be able to sleep well with the lack of snoring and other bodily noises that he is very good at making...but the boys always end up in bed with me, which is fine, but I always end up getting kicked severely about the head and face as they may not fart a whole lot but they sure to wiggle and move and kick a lot. Aye yi yi! So, for right now, I'm crossing my fingers and saying a little prayer that they fall asleep while watching the "sleep-inducing" man-eating bugs movie!

Alrighty...one weekend day down, one to go... Over and out...

Can I go to bed yet? And A lesson Learned!
Mood:  hug me
Its 10 PM...and I know where MY children are!!! They are (YES, even Jonah!!!) sleeping! Sam probably won't stay in his current slumber for long, but for right now...blissful sleep!

I've been in burnout mode lately and I don't think today will come to an end soon enough. (Actually, today will end in just under 2 hours, but I'm not sure that I will be sleeping by then...) Not complaining...what good would that do anyhow? I actually went to the health food store today and picked up some Valerian Root, hoping to gently end my insomnia. So far, it hasn't worked. That stuff sure does taste nasty though...so, no sleep but the good ol' gag reflex works just fine.

I've been doing a lot of self examination lately. All of these wonderful and wise women who tell moms with extra-special kids that "you need to take care of yourself or you won't be able to take care of anyone else." What wise, wonderful advice that is. Too bad its taken me 5 1/2 years of internalizing seizures and a million other kid issues to realize that this little gem of advice is one that ALL mamas need to take to heart. Taking time for ourselves, even if it is a hot bath after a full day of chasing our babies...we need to do whatever we can to nurture our spirits because we have so many people depending on us. We need to feel fresh and as calm as we possibly can in order to be the best Mamas we can be. My fuse has been prety short of late, a sure sign of burnout. I'm starting to take time. Just a bit of time to breathe. Time to calm down. My sweet boys need me to be open to them at all times, they don't need me to be frustrated at something else when they are needing me. I don't ever want them to think they can't come to me. This parenting *thing* is harder than any other journey I've ever taken. I'm learning and want to follow the right path. And that's the right path for my children, first and foremost. We need to take time for ourselves, true, but it is a very delicate balance... keeping our selves intact, keeping our spirits fun and healthy and vibrant and alive, and being and becoming the very best mothers we can be.

So, lesson learned. Take time to nurture our spirits, keep learning how to be the best mothers we can be and keep our kids first, and throw a little fun into the mix as often as humanly possible. Childhood is a journey, not a race. Motherhood is a journey, not a competition. Peace within ourselves is a journey that we must consciously choose every minute of our lives.