sasquatch part 1...
when i first got to san antonio, i met this girl janette, and at joe's volcano i met her friend, sasquatch(real name ommitted)(of course)(there is no reason to embarrass her further)(i mean i am calling her sasquatch, how much more insulting do you want me to be?). well a few weeks later i was hanging out in my room with paul and mike and a few other people when janette and sasquatch show up. we all were drinking and having a good time. i think we were watching south park, the movie. and i think we got up to the part with bill gates(i was hammered at the time i can't remember...oh and this is the girl with feet bigger than shaquielle oniel)...that part always makes me laugh... i thought you said that windows 98 was gonna be faster...it is, its over BANG...hahaha...so like i was saying, we got to that part in the movie i think...and i was sitting in a chair, with sasquatch laying on the floor(her choice, she could have laid on the bed, or sat there or something, but she may have been too drunk)...she starts rubbing my leg, and i thought that she wanted to tell me something, so i got on the floor up real close to hear and she starts kissing me... i am human, i just want you to remember that, and i hadn't had sex since that near incident where i couldn't get it up with the chick that was gonna kill herself... so i kissed back, and then she went for my penis, and started rubbing up on my thighs and my crotch. i returned the favor of course(unfortunately). so there we were, 8 people in my room and i am practically having sex on the floor with all of them watching. everyone notices that there is more action going on, between the two of us, than on the movie that everyone had seen about 20 or 30 times so they decide to get out of there, so that we could do whatever our privates desired...and i say privates because it is a well known fact that men are given enough blood to circulate through their brains and their dicks, but only enough to operate one at a time. so they all bailed. sasquatch needed to use the bathroom, so i helped her up and took her to the bathroom.
"knock, knock" it was paul
what?
whats going on in there?...and might i add, way to go...hahaha
shut up paul...(and i closed the door)
---sasquatch is still in the bathroom, and i am thinking she has been in there a while, so i knock on the door and i hear a groan, or a mumble or something, and assume that it was an "i'm ok"...and paul knocks on the front door again...i answer and he gives me some condoms... i thank him and close the door...but he unlocked it without me knowing... ---
well i go back to the bathroom to check on sasquatch, and the lights were off, i open the door barely, and called out her name, but no answer... so i turn on the lights... if she was dead or passed out on the john i think she would have appreciated it, but she wasn't on the john, she was laying on the floor, pants at her ankles, panties up, sleeping. the next day my suitemate told me that he heard a loud crash on his door last night, i guess that was her, but he didn't bother checking it out(that lazy fat bastard... he wants to be a cop once he gets out of the military, and he already has a girl lined up(she wants to be a pastor...good for her,) but he thinks that his potential kids are gonna be saints, he can scare them on earth and she can scare them away from hell... i don't know if you know any kids of pastors or cops, but those are always the worst kids... they get away with everything, so they do worse and worse stuff...what a dumb, lazy, fat bastard)...so i pick her up and carry her over to my bed. when she finally touched down on the mattress she was awake, and started kissing me all over, like something out of a porn...at least thats what it seemed like...i was drunk. so she wanted to go at it, and like i said before...i wasn't thinking with both brains, so i wanted at her too. she takes her clothes off, and mine and before you know it we were doing it. when, the front door opened...it was paul and the gang that was watching the movie... they just popped in... and then ran out. too busy to stop and lock the door, i just kept slamming away. then mike pops in to grab cigs...he didn't smoke at the time, so i just said, get the fuck out, or something like that...and he ran out with some cigs. i get up and lock the front door. i heard them try the door, and realize that it was locked... so they gave up i thought. all the while i am having sex, sasquatch was screaming louder and louder...she was really "sensitive"(easy to please)...
about 15 minutes later i heard my bathroom door open, it was the gang again... the door stayed open, and then about 30 seconds later i heard cheering, and then the door slammed... we hadn't stopped... then about 2 minutes later, the door opened again, and then there was the first flash, paul was taking pictures... mostly of my ass, as soon as the flash went off, he hurried to close the door... i was just thinking, maybe this will get old to them, so i just kept humping away... louder and louder... and realizing that we hadn't stopped, and the picture sucked, they decided to try another...and another, getting more and more comfortable with the idea of coming further and further into the room... up to the point where mike(the at-that-time non-smoker) was posing like a the-price-is-right model...presenting the two of us having sex...we have a picture of that, and i am flicking off the camera, with my bare ass to the camera... at this point we had been doing it for almost an hour... aside from the drunken state that i was in, i should have came by now, but the fact that this girl was screaming so loud made it very hard to finish... remember ladies, screaming is ok...just don't do it so much that your partner can't enjoy it... this was about an hour and a half into it, when i finally decided to lock the bathroom door. i got up and did it, and then went right back to sasquatch... she may have finished, 8 times but i was still working on number one... now let me remind you that she was fully conscience, and her bra was still on, we know this for certain, because she got on top of me, and i started taking off her bra, when there was the last flash of the night...paul opened my window and reached the camera in... all i saw was his arm after the flash, so i grabbed it and heard a commotion outside... he had been watching black hawk down, and was yelling stuff like "pull me out, pull me out...i need extraction immediatly," which just proves the point that movies may have an effect on what we say, but not necessarily on what we do...he hasn't killed anyone that i know of yet. the gang pulled him out, and like i said that was that... i don't remember much more, except that my fat, lazy, dumb suitemate told me that he woke up 7 hours later and could still hear us going at it...then he went back to sleep. i don't know how long it really lasted, but she got hers(several times over), and i still didn't get mine...i was just tired at 9 o'clock in the morning and just decided to go to sleep...
we woke up in the afternoon, and sat in bed talking for 6 or 7 hours. questions like what diseases that i might have, and stuff like that... and then she told me that she was a virgin up until that point. sasquatch was a liar... i may not be the most experienced man in the world, but i think i can tell the difference...
she left and went home. i tried to get in contact with her to return her earrings that she was wearing that night(it was kindof rough at the start, and i kindof threw them across the room), and she wasn't the most hospitable person...i thought everything was gonna be alright...i really thought that she was a nice girl, and possibly would have pursued her further, but when i got to her door with her jewlry, she opened the door just wide enough to get it, and then slammed the door in my face, without even a hello or anything...
and then i heard from janette that she wanted to press rape charges...none were ever charged, but that scared me...i didn't find out until that point that she was only 20. she might have drank all night, but none of the booze was mine. i didn't see her drink and none of my "gang" saw her drink either... i just thought that she was exhausted from the long day of clubbing and such. supposedly i took complete advantage of her and she wasn't awake at any point in the evening, but the last picture that paul got, clearly shows that she was awake...she was holding herself up so that i could take her bra off, more than an hour into it...actually that is my only real defense against her accusations, apart from the eyewitnesses...
ok so next time...sasquatch part II...the hunt for the photos
go somewhere
home
choke puppies?
if only i had a prince charming
