The Number 2 Story

One stormy night, July 30 1985, there was a loud knock on the door of my old house. When my parents came to the door there was a basket sitting there, and I was lying in it, with a dog collar around my neck that said, "Number 2". By this time my parent were puzzled by the name but desided to keep me. But my name should be changed due that fact that I would probably be made fun of because the words "NUMBER" and "2" are synonimous with shit or fecies, and possibly dairrhea. Alan seemed good enough so it stuck....

Approximately 16 or so earth years ago on the planet Assenass, out of slime pod number 2, emerged a gooey blob. This blob was then was moved by a large mechanical arm, and was dropped in the due process bin, 4 four weeks later, the blob was sent along with 3 other such blobs and was shipped to the planet only know as - earth. The blob formerly know as Number 2 then was given an assignment, to investigate the living patters of the primitive human. Codenamed "Alan" the blob formerly know as Number 2 then applied a costume every day and secretly spied on the human children for 16 years, unnoticed...

About 16 years ago, about 12 hours after the largest meal of her life my Mom felt the call of nature, and oh no! it wasn't number 1. Several hours later after the largest crap of her life, she was about to flush it all down when all of a sudden the shit started to move! My mother jumped back in horrer! Slowly the shit inched its way out of the toilet...Plop! The pile of crap landed on the floor leaving a large brown shit-smear. The shit moved to the bathtub, slowly slided over the top and once inside it stopped. Horrified my mother turned on the shower in hopes to wash the shit blob down the drain. Slowly the shit washed away until all that was left was a handsome newborn baby boy! My parents had no idea what to do with me so they decided to keep me, but i was still know only as Number 2, eventually the awful smell of human fecies wore away and I was then acceptable to be integrated into society, but first my name would be changed, "Alan" sounded good enough...