1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch
paper,99 copies.
2. Sit in your yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if
they slow down.
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it with your pen while talking to
others.
5. Sing along at the opera.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather
conditions "to keep them tuned up."
7. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
8. Practice making fax and modem noises.
9. Highlight irrelevant material in scientific papers and "cc" them to
your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with
prophesy."
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over
your ears.
13. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the cartridge across
the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
15. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green,
insist to others that you "like it that way."
16. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking
noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat the
complimentary mints by the cash register.
20. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. don t use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole
streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times:
"Do you hear that?",
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Play the William Tell Overture (The Lone Ranger Theme) by tapping
on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I
messed it up," and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a
parakeet.
29. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual
massage."
30. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
32. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble the
answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological
profiles."
33. Tell your friends 4 days prior that you can't
attend their party because you're not in the mood.
34. Send this list to everyone in your email address book even if they
sent it to you or asked you not to send things like this.
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