1998

AlBi: *A silver limo pulls up at the door of the Chat House*
*A hush falls over the assembled crowd*
*AlBi emerges, wearing a black, glo-mesh bikini and holding a microphone*
ugly bloke: is it ABBA day or something? *l*
SW: OH NOW, THAT'S A BIT MUCH...*LOL* NO-ONE TOLD ME TO DRESS UP!

AlBi: Welcome to Halloween's night of nights !!
Yes, it's the big one.
Guests are just starting to arrive in anticipation of the first Yadda - awarded to the most popular piece of Classic Chat
JOLT!ZILLA™ : Hay! Its YADDA time! Kool...glad I was here!... >:]
Brightly: Hi albi it's the time now?? *WAVES HHH*

AlBi: Who can I see arriving? I think that's Ping, fresh from the wedding in her lovely "white" dress There's uggers, wearing suspenders as usual and the Rev has made an appearance dressed in religious garb …
Hang on, I think I'm getting confused with down loaded net pics *rubs eyes*
Oops, it's just a bunch of people sitting around in front of their comps
Wearing old T-shirts, jeans and work suits
Better than nothing, I guess …
JOLT!ZILLA™ : That's a debatable point...
ResilientGeorgi: Yeehaw!! *BAS* My baggy NIKE sweatshirt and '70's jeans.. *LMAO* oh, and socks! gotta have socks... it's like 20 degrees F outside..
SW: HEY - I JUST WENT OUT AND PUT ON MY SLINKY BLACK NUMBER !*INDIGNANT*

AlBi: OK, let's cut to the chase shall we?
The nominations for best sample of Chat appearing on AlBi's home page are:

1st nomination:
horney: so where you from??? how old are you???
oranges: I'm not your type - I have a pulse ...

2nd nomination:
Misery Chastian: I'm not here right now but please leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you!!! *Beep*

Brightly: keep em going I like the first one however.

3rd nomination:
#0: Chat Daemon: Monica has entered the room.
#0: Chat Daemon: Santa Claws has timed out of the room.
#0: Chat Daemon: Monica has exited the room.
Reverend: Do you think Monica just popped in to drop off her Christmas list?....

4th nomination:
Wolfman™ : How do you work this thing??????
Reverend: Just push some keys...then some other keys...sometimes use your mouse a bit...be prepared to get timed out a lot...that just about covers it! That's all it says in the manual for Windows 98 :)
Wolfman™ : Really? I couldn't find that part...had to figure it out for myself!
Reverend: It's at the back, after the "How to beat your computer with a stick" section!
Wolfman™ : Ah, that explains it...couldn't find a stick, so I skipped that section...

5th nomination:
1 Happy Priñçe™ : @#$%! Forbidden Errors on both servers. *ggggrrrrrrrr* Hate that.
Wolfman: A forbidden error...what the hell are you doing? You DO know that you're only supposed to stick disks in your floppy drive, right? 'Cyber sex' is a metaphorical concept, NOT meant to be taken literally!
1 Happy Priñçe™ : Oh DISKS. I thought it said Dicks. Wow I was wondering why it was chafing. *L*
Wolfman: You're just lucky you're not that big...those floppy drives aren't that accomodating!
1 Happy Priñçe™ : Steam Presses are wondeful things !
Wolfman: Wow...talk about hot sex!

ZackDeLaSmoka:Þ : *applauds*
Brightly: *waiting*
SW: WILL WE GET COMMERCIAL BREAKS ALBI, SO WE CAN STILL CHAT?
JOLT!ZILLA™ : * watching Albi's display of the Best of the Best... *
ResilientGeorgi: Albi!! 3 or 4 *ROTFLMMFSAO*
Brightly: Albi any more, if not I say 1,4 or,5 so far
Daran: Albi>>*ROLFLMAO*
bad magenta: ALBI>> *waiting* *LMAO*

6th and final nomination:
A colborative effort involving Ping, Reverend, Misery, Oranges, uggers and me:
Oh he flies through the air with the greatest of sleaze.....
That daring old fart on his flying black fleas ...
His cassock a-flapping he soars like the bees...
And oh so damned painful he lands on his knees....
We all got the picture, no more singing, please ...
Yeah let's knock it off, it's time for a sneeze
I felt my heart stop now it's started to seize ...
We sound like we're suff'rin a mental disease...
Why not take a piccie.. everyone say cheese!!
I'll bring the camera if you'll bring the grease...
It's time for the picture, now everyone freeze ...

Misery Chastain: Albi....the 6th nomination one had nothing to do with me!
Brightly: so albi do we get to vote?
SW: ALBI - NOT FAIR TO GO BEYOND 5 - I NEED 1 HAND TO TYPE AT LEAST!
AlBi: And the award goes to … *opens envelope*
(anyone wanna place any final bets??)
Brightly: uhhh nomination 5
ZackDeLaSmoka:Þ : Number 5!!! Number 5!!!
Brightly: *wating in suspense* come on albi the suspense is killing me...
ResilientGeorgi: Number 5!!! Number 5!!!

AlBi: And the award goes to … *opens envelope*

Wolfman™ : How do you work this thing??????
Reverend: Just push some keys...then some other keys...sometimes use your mouse a bit...be prepared to get timed out a lot...that just about covers it! That's all it says in the manual for Windows 98 :)
Wolfman™ : Really? I couldn't find that part...had to figure it out for myself!
Reverend: It's at the back, after the "How to beat your computer with a stick" section!
Wolfman™ : Ah, that explains it...couldn't find a stick, so I skipped that section...

ZackDeLaSmoka:Þ : AAAWWWWEEEE *HELLYEAH!!!!! *
JOLT!ZILLA™ : *** APPLAUDING! *** >:D I liked that one.
Brightly: oh number four, well that was my second choice, any others??
AlBi: Congrats to Wolfie and the Rev (a match made in heaven)
Brightly: I liked that one as well, I have as yet to meet the rev however...
JOLT!ZILLA™ : And no Wolfie or Rev here to accept their award!...What a bummer...
Brightly: *L* Yeah.. Wolfie is pretty good.. I also liked his "Wolfman's Translation of Time out errors" too..yeah that was very good, If I could get a copy do you think he'd autograph it??
SW: *DRINKING THE CHAMPERS* I COULD GET INTO THIS AWARDS THING...
JOLT!ZILLA™ : * a little disappointed that he didn't make the final cut... * >:] Oh well...
ZackDeLaSmoka:Þ : *L* I know.. You had alot of them there too!
JOLT!ZILLA™ : I know...but none of them were as good as "How do you work this thing?..." LOL
Brightly: Actually I rather liked the Rev's poem about the grand old duke of york...
AlBi: And finally, to wrap things up, here's a little "blackmail" piece I've been saving for a special occassion ...

Chat Daemon: AlBi has timed out of the room.
Misery Chastain: Oh, we have to save her! *starts to stand up, but fall back* Too tired...must save her later! ~lol~
kess: *l* yeah...maybe tomorrow...hell it's not like she's going anywhere!!!!
Misery Chastain: *bas* She speaks the truth! *lol* *impatiently listens to AlBi's screams* Look, we're coming alright! Sometime....~weg~
kess: Yeah yeah..albi quieten down...some of us are trying to talk we'll save ya later...just hang in there...we'll get you out...someday!!!
Chat Daemon: AlBi has entered the room.
AlBi: What the @#$%&!! are you gals talking about?? *confused*
kess: Quick Misery, burn our notes! ~lol~
Misery Chastain: Albi : welcome back...we were just on our way to save you from the evil clutches of the timeout monster....weren't we Kess?? *nudges kess*
kess: Huh, What- oh, that's right! *convincing smile* But you returned safe to us! *bas*

Misery Chastain: aLBI....*lol* you've stil got that!
AlBi Oops!!: Oh, you'd be surprised what I have in "the vault"
*lmfao* *heeeeeeeee-yuuuuuuuuge grin*
Thanx to all who voted, and helped me waste my time on the weekends compiling senseless lists ;0)
SW: ALBI - THAT'S IT? *TAKING HER DRESS OFF* WELL I GUESS I DONT NEED THAT ANYMORE..I'LL JUST WANDER OFF WITH THIS LEFT OVER CHAMPERS...
JOLT!ZILLA™ : All you bored ladies...
"NEXT ON THE HALLOWEEN PARTY NETWORK...OUR DAILY WET-T-SHIRT CONTEST!..."
Her§hey Ki§§e§: this contest started when?? damn i missed a lot while i was gone
Brightly: *looking down at myself*
well I know this is going to start a water fight in here I just know it...
OwlBee: Does that mean I have to take the glo-mesh bikini off now?
Brightly: jolt you look dry again *sprays him with water form the hose turns it off and runs away laughing* whhhooo hooo in for the wet tshirt...
JOLT!ZILLA™ : Now lookit what ya did! Damn...my clothes are all wet! * taking off wet clothes *
Brightly: *SCREAMING WITH LAUGHTER* oh my god, no no don't my virgin eyeballs I'll never take it...*RATFLMAO*
Iconoplaster: Me and Snotpu are going to have a wet Y-fronts contest.......)

Yadda Hall of Fame

Here is Wolfie's acceptance speech, for the first Yadda ever awarded:

*As applause fills the packed-to-overflowing stadium, the Wolfman slowly makes his way to the stage...superficially, his smile seems to say that he expected to get the Yadda all the time...only those who know him really well can see the trace of relief, belying the doubts which were nagging at him until only a few moments ago, when the judges' decision was announced...he manages to make it to the podium without tripping or doing anything else which could be potentially embarassing...(he doesn't realize until much later, when he sees it all again on TV, that his fly was undone)*

"I....I just don't know what to say...this is such an emotional moment"...*tears trickling down my cheeks*...*surreptitiously hiding a freshly peeled onion in the handkerchief I brush the tears away with*..."It's traditional at a moment like this to thank those who have contributed to one's success, and in my case, there are many, many people who have done so."

"First, there are my parents, who's complete lack of attention and concern during my childhood served will to help me develop a keen sense of imagination as I constructed a fantasy world to live in. Combined with the resolute rebellion of my younger brother (and the accompanying increase in attention given him by my parents), I learned very young to be independant and take care of myself."

"Then there were my primary school classmates, who discovered that if you exchanged the first and fourth letters in my last name (Lombard), it produced the name Bumlard...an affectionate appellation which was to follow me about for many years. Always willing to include me in schoolyard activities (usually as the monkey in 'Monkey-in-the-middle' or the favorite choice to be the last one picked for a sports team), their actions led to me developing a sense of humor to cope with actions which might otherwise have led me to think that they didn't like me."

"Of course, one can't forget about my high school classmates, who helped me develop physically as well as emotionally by constantly practicing their combative skills on me. This helped me to develop a resilience and perseverence which was to serve me well in coming years."

"Finally, there were my university classmates, who took the unusual and rather unaccustomed step of treating me like a regular guy, and quickly leading me to discover that there were ways to utilize my now sharp humor and intellect in a way which caused people to laugh and admire me. Although this sudden twist in attitudes did stymie me somewhat at first, the resilience and perseverence I had developed in previous years helped me to adjust to this, and I was eventually able to accept and even thrive in this new atmosphere."

"Oh, and one last group...the crowd in the Halloween Party chatroom who have given me numerous opportunities to further develop and hone my sartorial wit, either as the victims, or as collaborators. Of course, special thanks go to the Rev., who was an indispensible partner in creating the winning entry...and to AlBi, without whom this award would never have been created!"