Cognitive Dissonance
Mood:  cool
Topic: Backgrounder
Description
"Cognitive dissonance is a state of opposition between cognitions. For the purpose of cognitive consistency theory, cognitions are defined as being an attitude, emotion, belief or value (Ford trucks built tough)... the theory of cognitive dissonance holds that contradicting cognitions (Ford trucks built tough, FORD stands for Fix Or Repair Daily) serve as a driving force that compels the human mind to acquire or invent new thoughts or beliefs, or to modify existing beliefs, so as to minimize the amount of dissonance (conflict) between cognitions."(Italics are my own thoughts, bolding added)Source, Wikipedia

Examples
Tedious peg-turning
"In Festinger and Carlsmith's classic 1959 experiment, students were made to perform tedious and meaningless tasks, consisting of turning pegs quarter-turns, then removing them from a board, then putting them back in, and so forth. Subjects rated these tasks very negatively. After a long period of doing this, students were told the experiment was over and they could leave.
However, the experimenter then asked the subject for a small favor. They were told that a needed research assistant was not able to make it to the experiment, and the subject was asked to fill in and try to persuade another subject (who was actually a confederate) that the dull, boring tasks the subject had just completed were actually interesting and engaging. Some subjects were paid $20 for the favor, another group was paid $1, and a control group was not requested to perform the favor.

When asked to rate the peg-turning tasks, those in the $1 group showed a much greater propensity to embellish in favor of the experiment when asked to lie about the tasks." Source, Wikipedia

Buy a Lemon
"Consider someone who buys an expensive car but discovers that it is not comfortable on long drives. Dissonance exists between their beliefs that they have bought a good car and that a good car should be comfortable. Dissonance could be eliminated by deciding that it does not matter since the car is mainly used for short trips (reducing the importance of the dissonant belief) or focusing on the cars strengths such as safety, appearance, handling (thereby adding more consonant beliefs). The dissonance could also be eliminated by getting rid of the car, but this behavior is a lot harder to achieve than changing beliefs." Source, Psycology.org

Shopping for a Coffee Maker
"J. W. Brehm (1956) conducted the first experiment using the free- choice paradigm to test predictions derived from dissonance theory. In his experiment, which was presented as market research, he had women rate how desirable they found eight different products (e.g., toaster or coffeemaker) and then gave each of them a choice between two products that were close in desirability (difficult decision) or between two products that were not close in desirability (easy decision). After choosing which of the two products they would keep, the women rerated the desirability of the products. Results indicated that the women who made a difficult decision changed their evaluations of the products to be more positive about the chosen product and less positive about the rejected product. Spreading of alternatives was less for the women who made an easy decision. The free-choice paradigm continues to be used to gain insights into dissonance processes (e.g., Shultz & Lepper, 1996; Stone, chap. 8, this volume)." Source, APA.org

People Exhibit
- illogical loyalty towards their choice
- discomfort when challenged
- strongly defend their choice
- trivialize conflicting information

Key Features
Significant Effort
Are they willing to admit to wasting a significant amount of time and energy towards the wrong choice? The greater the investement, the greater the dissonance. The longer the person digs themselves in to a bad decision, the harder it becomes to leave.
Free Choice
The more difficult the decision (that is, there is a lot of similarity between the two choices) the stronger the dissonance.

Small Reward
When the reward is small enough, the participant seems to consider their choice to be a favour rather than an obligation. Perhaps people put more effort in to volunteer activities because the reward is intangibles such as "personal satisfaction".

How Jehovah's Witnesses Use Cognitive Dissonance
Significant Effort: A new convert is not baptised for at least six months. This way, the convert has invested a significant amount of time prior to baptism. The longer they spend studying, the more difficult it will be to back out. After baptism, the Jehovan's Witness lifestyle is an endless parade of study, meetings, and field service. This life requires a great deal of effort to maintain. Again, when a Jehovah's Witness who decides to leave must admit that they have wasted years of effort on an empty cause. Only the most brave and the humble have the strength to admit this.

Small Reward: The Jehovah's Witness reward is for a future promise of life forever on paradise earth. Watchtower articles frequently extol the rewards of the Jehovah's Witness life, but few concrete examples are given. This reinforces the dissonance, as the reader makes up their own reasons, later vehemently supporting them.

Positive Uses
Now that I understand the principles of Cognitive Dissonance, I've put the principles to work at the office. I have successfully implemented change across my team by offering small rewards and recognition. My team are energetic and dedicated to the cause, rather than the reward.

It dawned on me, too, that governments are not above using Cognitive Dissonance to implement unpopular changes. The GST was an unpopular new tax implemented across Canada. Considering the swath that it cut from Joe Citizen's pocketbook, however, the protests were relatively muted. Along with the GST tax, the government instituted a GST rebate that low income Canadians can apply for. I used to think that the huge administration required to process this rebate would have been better spent in lowering the tax overall. But now I realize that the rebate is "payoff money" to institute public Cognitive Dissonance and reduce resistance to the tax.

Coaxing Someone out of Cognitive Dissonance
My experience is that if I directly point out how illogical the person's choice they put up greater resistance. Here's a diagram of someone with an illogical belief.

If I provide mounds of evidence, I increase their discomfort to such a degree that the person will do almost anything to shut off the unwelcome information. I provide the direct challenge.

They will come up with increasingly outrageous excuses not to listen. The person may even adopt more extreme views in response to a direct challenge. I have had much greater success asking questions about relatively non-threatening subjects. I allow the person to absorb and respond to each question. Over time, they will modify their belief closer to reality, resulting in less severe cognitive dissonance.

Further Reading
Pay Enough or Don't Pay at All Pay Enough or Don't Pay at All

September 15/05 Go On Walking as Jesus Christ Walked
Mood:  spacey
Topic: Forecast
Synopsis:((crooked and to the left.lol)) "He that says he remains in union with [God] is under obligation himself also to go on walking just as that one [Jesus] walked."- 1 john 2:6 - Jesus shaved his beard, put on his suit and tie, and meekly went door-to-door.

Forecast: Take your partner out this week, keep them grounded, be normal.

Here's a list of future Solutions I will be posting in the next few months
Mood:  cool
Topic: Solutions
Add Fun
Be a Tugboat
Can't Beat em
Confront Quietly
Dress for the Hall
Make Peace with the Cult Personality
Pro and Con
Reinforce their Humanity
Reveal your Humanity
Reverse Psychology
Start a Family Bible Study
Stick to the Topic
Sudden Shock
Talk like a JW
Test the Waters
Turn off the Cult Personality
Use Humor
Word Pictures

Oops, I forgot to give the reference for that quote
Mood:  accident prone
Topic: Welcome
"....all true Christians have to struggle against Satan the Devil..." WT September 1, 2005, page 13, para 2.

Welcome Again!
Mood:  bright
Topic: Welcome
UBM Stands for "Unbelieving Mate". This is how Jehovah's Witnesses describe any partner of a Witness who has not joined the society. We are considered "unequally yoked" with our JW partner, and the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society (WTBTS) predicts many problems in marriages like ours. In many ways, they are right. But is the society helping or hindering our marriage?

Here's a quote from a recent Watchtower article that gives you some idea on how UBM's are viewed by the society:

"...And while we have not all suffered direct persecution, all true Christians have to struggle against Satan the Devil and the spirit that he engenders among mankind. (Ephesians 2:2;6:12) It takes constant vigilance not to be influenced by that spirit, since we encounter it at work, at school, and in any other place where we have to rub shoulders with those who have no interest in pure worship."

This site is designed to prepare and forearm UBM's so we are not bowled over by the WTBTS steamroller. There are ways to counteract the society's negative effect, and with patience, we may even be able to help our partners exit the society sooner.

What is their motive?
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: Solutions
Opening Story:

"Joe paced the floor of their tiny living room. This was the third night this week his Janey had gone to the meeting with the Jehovahs. It had seemed harmless enough six months ago, but now Janey seemed to be spending more and more time with those people. Even more disturbing, she was becoming more distant in the bedroom. She was acting strange in other ways too, taking down the picture of the Last Supper that her favorite Aunt had left her. They had argued last night, but the harder he tried to show her how wacky it all was, the more distant she became. Man, if he heard "pagan" one more time, he was going to use the "C" word, Cult. What was he doing wrong?"

Context:
You are waking up to the pull that the Jehovah's Witnesses have on an early convert.

Problem:
Direct confrontation only digs them in deeper. How can you through to someone studying with the Jehovah's Witnesses, when they have been pre-warned to expect opposition?

Forces:
1. Your partner cannot be forced in to a way of living that pleases you, even if you know their choices are hurting them. Honor free will above everything else.
2. You have a Jehovah's Witness on their tell who is well-rehearsed to answer any opposition, and has pre-warned your partner that you are not going to appreciate their decision to "Obey Jehovah"
3. Worse, warnings that people will oppose the study's choice start by the third week.
4. Even worse, any opposers are portrayed as being servants of Satan. Want to grow horns overnight? All you have to do is try and force your partner to get out.
5. Your partner was drawn to the Witnesses for a reason. If you can provide a better solution than what the Witnesses offer, that will be the key to bringing your partner back out.

Essence of the Solution:
You need effective strategies and communication techniques to get through to your loved one. First and foremost, you have to understand your partner, their motives, dreams, and the pull the Witnesses had in the first place. Answer these questions.

1. What drew your partner to the Witnesses in the first place?
2. Is your partner more logical or emotional?

More about the Solution:
If you don't know your partner very well, this is the time to start. Ask gentle, leading questions to get to the root of your partner's fears and desires.

Put on your thinking cap, and think about what the driving motivation is. Once you know that, you can provide opportunities to meet the need. The JW's promise much, but they are short on delivery. When your partner wakes up to that realization, all your hard work will bear fruit.

Common reasons:
1. A desire for order and security (in a chaotic world)
2. Fear of death (9-11 and other disasters)
3. Grief over lost one (JW's promise reunion on Paradise Earth)
4. A desire for order in faith (JW's have an explanation for everything)
5. No friends (JW's are very friendly to converts)
6. Enjoy religious lifestyle (study, dressing up, orderly)

Counteracting the reasons:
1. Collect good news stories. Comment on examples of unloving behavior at the Kingdom Hall.
2. Reassure partner with bible verses that God loves them and they are secure in His memory. Later, if a JW suggests to your partner that their hope is threatened for some imagined failing, bring up those verses again.
3. Same as 2.
4. Collect samples of "changing light" by the society Quotes
5. Energetically build up a network of friends outside the society. When the "evil world" is brought up, ask your partner if your mutual friends are evil?
6. Join a church yourself, for your own sanity and for a possible future network. If you have no interest in Christianity, join a group that has a social activist component and has aspects of self-denial (living a saintly life making the world a better place).

Resulting Context:
Look at it this way, you may end up becoming a sensitive and attentive partner at the end of all this!

Known Uses:

September 15/05 Walk by Faith Not by Sight!
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: Forecast
Synopsis: "We are walking by faith, not by sight."- 2Cor. 5:7 don't question, just do. Ignore the evidence in front of you, it's from Satan.

Forecast: Rent a JW-esque movie like Stepford Wives or the Matrix.

Welcome to UBM Solution Finder
Mood:  energetic
Topic: Welcome
Welcome to UBM Blog. I'm trying out this format to see if it meets our needs. I'm not sure there is much security control, but I do have admin. rights of access.