What is their motive?
Mood:
quizzical
Topic: Solutions
Opening Story:"Joe paced the floor of their tiny living room. This was the third night this week his Janey had gone to the meeting with the Jehovahs. It had seemed harmless enough six months ago, but now Janey seemed to be spending more and more time with those people. Even more disturbing, she was becoming more distant in the bedroom. She was acting strange in other ways too, taking down the picture of the Last Supper that her favorite Aunt had left her. They had argued last night, but the harder he tried to show her how wacky it all was, the more distant she became. Man, if he heard "pagan" one more time, he was going to use the "C" word, Cult. What was he doing wrong?"
Context:You are waking up to the pull that the Jehovah's Witnesses have on an early convert.
Problem:Direct confrontation only digs them in deeper. How can you through to someone studying with the Jehovah's Witnesses, when they have been pre-warned to expect opposition?
Forces:1. Your partner cannot be forced in to a way of living that pleases you, even if you know their choices are hurting them. Honor free will above everything else.
2. You have a Jehovah's Witness on their tell who is well-rehearsed to answer any opposition, and has pre-warned your partner that you are not going to appreciate their decision to "Obey Jehovah"
3. Worse, warnings that people will oppose the study's choice start by the third week.
4. Even worse, any opposers are portrayed as being servants of Satan. Want to grow horns overnight? All you have to do is try and force your partner to get out.
5. Your partner was drawn to the Witnesses for a reason. If you can provide a better solution than what the Witnesses offer, that will be the key to bringing your partner back out.
Essence of the Solution:You need effective strategies and communication techniques to get through to your loved one. First and foremost, you have to understand your partner, their motives, dreams, and the pull the Witnesses had in the first place. Answer these questions.
1. What drew your partner to the Witnesses in the first place?
2. Is your partner more logical or emotional?
More about the Solution:If you don't know your partner very well, this is the time to start. Ask gentle, leading questions to get to the root of your partner's fears and desires.
Put on your thinking cap, and think about what the driving motivation is. Once you know that, you can provide opportunities to meet the need. The JW's promise much, but they are short on delivery. When your partner wakes up to that realization, all your hard work will bear fruit.
Common reasons:
1. A desire for order and security (in a chaotic world)
2. Fear of death (9-11 and other disasters)
3. Grief over lost one (JW's promise reunion on Paradise Earth)
4. A desire for order in faith (JW's have an explanation for everything)
5. No friends (JW's are very friendly to converts)
6. Enjoy religious lifestyle (study, dressing up, orderly)
Counteracting the reasons:
1. Collect good news stories. Comment on examples of unloving behavior at the Kingdom Hall.
2. Reassure partner with bible verses that God loves them and they are secure in His memory. Later, if a JW suggests to your partner that their hope is threatened for some imagined failing, bring up those verses again.
3. Same as 2.
4. Collect samples of "changing light" by the society
Quotes5. Energetically build up a network of friends outside the society. When the "evil world" is brought up, ask your partner if your mutual friends are evil?
6. Join a church yourself, for your own sanity and for a possible future network. If you have no interest in Christianity, join a group that has a social activist component and has aspects of self-denial (living a saintly life making the world a better place).
Resulting Context: Look at it this way, you may end up becoming a sensitive and attentive partner at the end of all this!
Known Uses:
cool
accident prone
bright
incredulous
energetic