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Cautionary Tales

All journalists will admit to making a few mistakes.
Often they do it in a way to leave you gasping with admiration, they hope, at how they pulled themselves back from the brink of disaster.

My cautionary tales are different. I have nothing to lose by admitting my silly mistakes as my profession is no longer journalism.

Of course, these words may yet come back to haunt me.

Never Assume

Back in about 1980, a junior reporter went to interview an ageing survivor of the 1914-1918 Great War.

He told her a fascinating tale of hunting deserters from all three major armies - French, British, German - who lived in co-operation in the woods near Etaples for years during the conflict.

"Piffle!" quoth her editor (me, in case you hadn't guessed). But I thought it would do her good to check this old yarn-spinner's tale out with the proper authorities; a good way for her to learn the basics of investigative journalism (is there any other kind?).

First she phoned the old chap's regiment and spoke to the regimental historian:
"Hello, I'd like some information about hunting deserters in Etaples Wood during the 14-18 war."

(Long pause) "May I call you back?"

(Some time later)"Hello. I think you should ask the Ministry of Defence about Etaples Wood." He didn't quite say "my lips are sealed" but that was the impression she got.

"Hello, Ministry of Defence archivist, what can you tell me about the deserters in Etaples Wood during World War One?"

"(Military expletive deleted)! How the (military expletive deleted) did you find out about that?"

It seems a book author was researching similar rumours, gained from different old codgers, at about the same time. The MoD didn't exactly confirm or deny the details of our old boy's reminiscences, but it was obvious the reporter had stumbled on one of the many secret (till then) episodes of the conflict.

It turned into a jolly good story, but surprisingly no other paper was interested at the time.

Within a couple of years, a book had been published, and a television series entitled "The Monocled Mutineer" broadcast, about the adventures of perhaps the most colourful of the British deserters.

The moral of this tale is of course: "Never assume."

If you have funny or instructive tales you would like to share, send them in and I'll see about putting them on this site - email me: m and ep_AT_ang elfire _DOT_ com (doing the obvious to make the address work).
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