Run from Thy Father
Chapter 7
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Draco nuzzled the back of Harry's neck as he said this, delighting in the soft moans that came from his raven- haired boyfriend.
VENRIAL: Yeah, that happens to me whenever someone nuzzles my highly developed sense of good literature.
FERNANDO: Know what would be funny? If the so-called "raven-haired boyfriend" and the long since aforementioned "blonde Slytherin" were actually two other people in the room, getting off on watching Harry and Draco nuzzle. But they're not. So why all the damn beating around the bush when referring to the characters? 60^th rule of fanfiction . . . it's not as annoying as you think to use the actual names of the people. It'd be higher on the list, but there's all those rules about Mary Sues and beta-reading.
"You have a point. Filch and Mrs. Norris will be in the dungeons, so we can just use our wands to
FERNANDO: I refuse to get my hopes up this time.
clean and polish, and if either of them comes in, we'll just act busy."
VENRIAL: Poor Fernando. Disillusioned with preteen gay sex. Actually that may be a GOOD thing because anyone turned on by this has serious icky issues. As in creaming the prepubescent wand.
"By the way, Harry, why don't you want Ron and Hermione to know that we're together? Crabbe and Goyle know that you're my boyfriend, and it doesn't bother them."
VENRIAL: Hey, I'd have problems discovering my friend had been sleeping with my mortal enemy too. And again with the whole Crabbe and Goyle being smart and serious and flamingly gay! I . . . I just . . . * head explodes quite messily *
FERNANDO: Now there's no WAY I'm taking back that chair. I'll just leave it in front of Florence's room like I did the other 28 times. And by the way, Draco is no one's mortal enemy anymore! He is hereby granted a pardon for all his past sins and actions, and no longer can any dark wishes enter his heart. All because of Harry's pure and mature love. I wonder if Draco will win Ron over later when Ron comes down with leprosy and has only the messianic "blonde Slytherin" to turn to?
VENRIAL: * begins to glue the pieces of her head back together using margarita salt * Let's not begin thinking of Draco as Jesus now. Even their "Jesus Christ!" exclamations shouldn't be in here because the books never use them. But hey . . . let's not even worry about religion while we're still trapped, bleeding, and weeping in OOC Land.
"Draco; It doesn't bother Crabbe and Goyle because * they're * gay. But * Ron * is homophobic. He wouldn't talk to me for nearly the whole summer when I told him I was bisexual, and we're still kind of on edgy terms. Hermione...well she's cool with me being bi, but I think she would turn bitchy if she knew that you were my boyfriend."
FERNANDO: Well, you know what homophobia REALLY means about you. * begins waving one of Hamlet's bones around absently * He OBVIOUSLY didn't want to talk to Harry because he was afraid he'd have to give in to his throbbing needs. And he's never been able to look at a wand the same way again.
VENRIAL: Or maybe USE his wand the same way again. Heh.
FERNANDO: * suddenly scrunches up face and begins bawling * OH VENRIAL! I'm . . . so PROUD of you! * subjects her to a giant hug *
VENRIAL: * feels a certain happiness during his hug * That better be for me and not this story.
FERNANDO: Actually, I was just remembering when Maddening did that thing with the paintbrush and the salsa and the copy of the Articles of Confederation. Excuse me, m'dear.
VENRIAL: * watches a busy hand with interest * Don't strain the muscles. Feel the flow. That's the ticket.
"Poor baby. Anyway, lets get back to our `detention.' Sounds like a bludge to me, and I have some ideas to fill our spare time." A cheeky smile appeared on Draco's face, and he slipped one hand up the back of Harry's shirt, caressing the soft skin that covered strong, slim muscles. Harry smiled in return.
VENRIAL: Bet Draco's ideas don't consist of Parcheesi! More like Ride the Donkey and Hide the Sausage . . . a favorite game for them, I'm sure. They sure do smile a lot, don't they? Must be post-orgasm smiles.
FERNANDO: There's just so much wrong here. First of all, Harry expresses that one of his two best friends might turn against him, and Draco's response is a mocking "poor baby" and a change of subject? That's a healthy relationship. Second, what the houri is a "bludge?"
VENRIAL: A relation to "bludgeon?" As in I hope someone bludgeons Draco to make me stop yawning after reading this!
"You know, Draco, you're not as unsure or as shy as you used to be." "Meaning?" There was a tone in Draco's voice that seemed to say `Watch it, buddy!' so Harry chose his words carefully.
FERNANDO: Meaning that YOU'RE NOT AS UNSURE OR SHY AS YOU USED TO BE, idiot. Harry may be choosing his words carefully, but the author certainly is not, because "meaning?" makes no sense in this context. Draco obviously knows what Harry's words mean and wants explanation as to why he thinks that. I think Wyrd Sista187 means "how do you mean?" Or possibly English isn't Draco's first language and he DIDN'T understand Harry. Just sayin'.
VENRIAL: Not that we don't adore the author for having spunk. We're just grammatically anal. Hell, we're just anal.
FERNANDO: Don't even get me started.
"Well, I remember in the Astronomy tower, I touched your ass, and you got really freaked out. Now, you don't seem to have a problem with that, or with me touching you anywhere." Draco raised an eyebrow and shrugged.
"The feeling was new to me, because it was a guy touching me like that, so I guess I was still a little confused, but I'm not anymore. But you know I still don't like having my ass touched that much."
VENRIAL: "You see, Harry my sweet, when you touch me like that, I want to scream my Daddy's name and hop onto the bed like a willing Hoor of Babylon."
FERNANDO: Maybe Draco was really just nervous about all the nice long telescopes lying around the Astronomy Tower.
VENRIAL: I'd be nervous too with a rapist father who sees all and knows all. Another kid's report card would be the least of my problems after sleeping with the enemy.
That was half the truth. The feelings were, in a way, new to Draco, but the other reason behind that was the fact that the abuse handed out by his Father was still fresh in his mind. But this wasn't his Father; it was Harry Potter, the-boy-who-lived. Gentle, patient, and loving, a far cry from Lucius Malfoy and his world of pain and selfishness. "Oh. So you don't have a problem if I do *this? *" Harry asked seductively as he turned around, sitting in Draco's lap, and began gently sucking on his throat. Draco arched his throat to give Harry better access.
FERNANDO: (imitating THE BIG CHEEKS) Now, you too can experience your very own Erotic Tracheotomy! Only $99.95, available at all fine health establishments! Warning: The Erotic Tracheotomy requires that you be choking to death on your own blood. No recovery guaranteed. Specific gender of Erotic Tracheotomy Practitioner not guaranteed. The Erotic Tracheotomy Practitioner is not responsible for health complications resulting from or related to the Erot--
THE BIG CHEEKS: GET ON WITH IT!
FERNANDO: Yes'm.
VENRIAL: She told you off! Nyah nyah nyah nyah. Erotic Tracheotomy. Hehe. Harry needs to give an Erotic Buff and Wax Job.
"Mmmm. No..." He murmured. "No problem at all." He was completely unaware that Harry was slowly and gently pushing Draco onto his back.
"What about *this? *" Harry's voice became a low purr. He pushed Draco right onto his back, so he was lying on top of him. Draco chuckled softly, then reached up to pull Harry into a kiss.
"No problem at all."
They kissed again, this time more passionately. Harry wrapped his arms around the pale Slytherin who was writhing underneath him, and deepened the kiss. Draco moaned softly in reply, and tangled his hands in the Gryffindor's thick, dark hair.
VENRIAL: I have a problem with this but no one listens to ME. Far be it from me to deny anyone sexual pleasure but I simply can't deal with seeing this go so far. It's isn't NATURAL. It defies the laws of gods and men! Draco is WRITHING!
FERNANDO: We don't know for sure it's Draco! It's our friend the Pale Blonde Slytherin again. It could be Snape with a dye job. * winces * No, no, I think I'd actually rather it be Draco. Never thought I'd SAY that.
(Suddenly, an Instant Message pops up in front of fanfiction.net. The name is not one they recognize.)
SNAPESSEXYMAMA50063: ummmm u guiyz r suckie n u neded 2 dye now.snepe rocks to2lee. Blow me harde bye
FERNANDO: * closes the window hurriedly * Damn! I forgot . . . never mess with Internet Snape fans. They are subtle and quick to anger.
VENRIAL: A good warning for ye young UNTAINTED children.