Run from Thy Father
Chapter 6
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It's late in the Palace of Cheekdom. The time is somewhere between sleeping and rampant early morning sexual activity. Oh, don't you WISH you lived here? More's the pity for you. The rooms are dark within the palace except for one. Fernando's room. The Room of Hot Raccoon Sex. Currently, a steamy video is nearing its end as the Cheeks Fernando shivers with lust and possibly overexertion. But we won't hearken to that mental image. Well, you might because of the sheer hormonal vibes that Fernando gives off in pulsating waves. And Venrial's a voluptuous lass but she does deliver within thirty minutes or less. Ahem.
Fernando stretches his nummy limbs and glances over at a sweaty and slumbering Venrial. As he realizes she has ruined his plush leather vibrating chair, he also realizes the video has whetted his appetite for more of "Honor Thy Father." His fingers itch to caress the computer mouse and his eyes widen over the thought of actually torturing himself with the story. There really is but a thin line between pleasure and pain, folks. You must have crossed that line repeatedly while reading this.
He toys with the idea of enjoying his fanfiction in solitude, as he has so often with this specific fic in the past; however, finding himself physically exhausted and so unable to reap THOSE particular benefits, as well as sorely missing Hamlet (who is not yet back from his canine sulk and treat binge), he decides to shake Venrial awake with a considerable lack of . . . well, consideration. Besides, he's rather looking forward to watching her try to remove her butt from the leather it's spent one very perspiration-filled night on.
VENRIAL: Juh? Huh? * wipes drool from her chin * What in the hell are you waking me up for? I was having the most wonderful dream about being Miss Nude Universe 2002.
FERNANDO: My dear Ven, aren't 600 years in a row ENOUGH for you? I say you throw in the towel. Mmmmm . . . flashbacks to "Rudolph's Mad Party Volume One," as I have christened it. Care for a little ficcie ficcie, shug?
VENRIAL: * winces as her cheeks rip away from the seat * Holy motha that stings. And I'll never throw in the towel as long as that skank Galatea keeps competing. You're serious? MORE of that story? * purses her lips and ponders * Weeeelll . . . fine. Rudolph isn't awake yet for me to jump his hot body so I have time to kill.
FERNANDO: Rudolph will come nowhere near your body--pun intended--until he's on MY list. I called dibs last night after we saw the part in the video where he did that thing with the one leg and the chin and the can of cream soda. But let's leave our dispute for now and partake in a little masochistic, one-handed reading material, ne?
Honor thy Father......(part 5) "How long have we been together, Draco?" Harry murmured as he lay in the arms of the blonde Slytherin, in front of the fireplace.
FERNANDO: This is what you get when you steal your father's charmed handcuffs for your own use, boys. A lesson well-learnt and none too soon in coming. Every 15-year-old boy goes through the same.
VENRIAL: Maybe their practicing for their Bondage Exams? One thousand and one ways to make your time together sparkle.
Draco chuckled in amusement, and tangled his fingers in Harry's midnight-black hair, which contrasted strongly with his silvery-blonde hair. It was past midnight, and the two lovers had sneaked out of their dorms to spend a few hours together in Harry's secret room.
VENRIAL: Wouldn't it be funny if Draco REALLY got his fingers tangled in Harry's hair? And then he started ripping out the hair and Harry began to scream and people came running in and the boys were discovered? Oh wait. She didn't mean the scalp hair, did she?
FERNANDO: I don't know. Draco's going prematurely gray either way, it seems--silver hair--but it's all the more horrifying when it happens down below. Or so Sean Connery told me. And I saw for myself, of course. He wasn't hosin'. Secret room, eh? Is that what the kids are calling it?
VENRIAL: This puts a new spin on Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. `Chamber' can mean soooooo many things now. * licks her lips * Oh my, yesssssssss my precioussssssss.
FERNANDO: I knew you forcing Remiel to MST "Everyones in Luv!" with you was a bad idea. It's not yet recovered, and the taint seems to be spreading around the castle.
"Six weeks on Monday. Why do you ask? Time holds no meaning, Harry." Harry turned his head around to stare at Draco, who in turn, gave him that deep, sincere smile reserved for Harry, and only Harry.
FERNANDO: Oh, Harry turned his head around, all right . . . 360 DEGREES! He then spewed pea soup and masturbated with a crucifix. "Draaaaaccccccco! Rule the Nether Lands with me!" Ooh, look, double entendre. I love myself sometimes. Ooh, another! Hey, doesn't that line about time holding no meaning sound like it came from a Snape/Draco fic or something? It's way out of place.
VENRIAL: And Harry screwing Draco is okily-dokily?
FERNANDO: Point taken, Pointy Pants. (a beat; then) Heh. I gotta stop with saying stuff like that.
"Time means something to me, Draco. It's too slow and too long when I'm not spending it with you. It's too fast and too short when we're together, which really frustrates me."
Draco didn't reply for a moment, but his grip on Harry tightened slightly. Harry kissed his arm, and Draco seemed to relax at the touch of Harry's warm lips. These six weeks together had been the most amazing experience ever for the two youths.
VENRIAL: So most of their sexual encounters are quick bangs in the closet? I'd say they have lots of time to meet as much as they get around at night. Ooooo! They kiss each other's arms! * begins to lick her forearm * Nope. Does nothing for me really.
FERNANDO: I guess either Harry's got a flexible backbone, or Draco's not taking proper advantage of his gripping opportunity. Carpe phallum, little Dragon! Carpe phallum!
What had started out as friendship between them soon became an innocent fondness for each other mixed with teenage hormonal lust that had blossomed into a strong, mature, and pure love.
FERNANDO: * begins to dry heave *
VENRIAL: * ruins Fern's leather chair permanently *
FERNANDO: * wonders if Candria's out of the bathroom yet, in case he needs easy access *
VENRIAL: * coughs and avoids his gaze * Sorry about the chair.
FERNANDO: Oh, I was going to let you keep it anyway. It was never going to be clean again after last night.
VENRIAL: I apologized for that too. I never expected the wand to actually WORK.
Draco had never expected his first love to be another boy, but so what? No girl he had ever been with had ever been capable of giving him the safe, peaceful, and happy feelings all rolled into one that Harry provided him with.
VENRIAL: Jeez . . . does Draco even understand the whole safe sex schtick? Or is there a No Consequences after Hot Sex spell too?
FERNANDO: I need to learn that one myself. But there is a "Make Him Lose Your Number" spell, which I've praised Buddha for many a time.
THE BIG CHEEKS: (in a booming, disembodied, vaguely talk-show-host-esque voice from above) And yes, folks . . . for a cool five grand you can learn this spell too! What? You're ALL cheapskates? Fine then. Have lots of babies and whining parents beating down your doors. You'll be back. Tramps.
FERNANDO: * chuckles * Didn't get much sleep last night or something?
THE BIG CHEEKS: Shaddup.
FERNANDO: Yes'm.
"But to have some time with you is better than having no time at all." "True, Harry. But we do have a class together tomorrow, remember? We have Double Potions, and Professor Snape paired us up for the whole semester." "Yes, I know, but the downside is we have to act like we hate each other, and I can't kiss you or anything!" Harry wailed, mock-pouting. Draco sighed, then that smile returned to his face.
FERNANDO: Having fulfilled its duty of coddling Harry, the smile extended its tiny legs once more and scurried off to go bar-hopping. It works hard for the money.
VENRIAL: It's an "I'm happy `cause I shit my pants" smile.
FERNANDO: I haven't seen one of those since my steamy night with Sigmund Freud. And they say the Cheekses no longer deliver inspiration!
"But we can meet again tomorrow afternoon, remember? The whole 5^th year are going to the Museum of Magical History right after lunch, and we're supposed to be on detention for being caught out of our dorms last week by Filch's stupid cat, Mrs. Norris." Harry raised a dark eyebrow at this, and rolled his eyes at the memory.
"How could I forget that, Draco? You're the one that got us on detention in the first place. You tripped over Mrs. Norris, nearly broke her flea-bitten tail, and pulled off the invisibility cloak with you, which was how we were caught out. The only thing I'm thankful for is that Ron and Hermione believed my story that you followed me and took my cloak, and we got caught. I don't want them to know that we're together."
VENRIAL: You mean after all that the Gay Alarm isn't going off? What? Do they think Draco joined the white hats and Harry was giving a ROMPING good tour of what it's like to be a very good boy? Poor Hermione has lost her handy brain if she thinks Draco can just follow invisible people around, pinch their bottoms, and steal their cloaks. I say piffle to this whole irritating dialogue.
FERNANDO: To all that I can say nothing but "word." Maybe throw in a "you go, girlfriend!"
"Awww... c'mon, Harry. You can't stay mad at me for that. I mean, at least we're going to be alone until dinnertime, and all we have to do is clean and polish the staff
FERNANDO: Yes, YES! PRAISE BUDDHA!
room furniture."
FERNANDO: Feh. Fuck that then.