RfTF
Chapter 11
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THE BIG CHEEKS: I’ll get someone in here to help you finish, Mad. You may continue now. * vanishes, adding a slight purple sparkage as an afterthought *
“About us. Our relationship throughout the years…” Draco’s voice trailed off as he tucked a stray lock of midnight-black hair behind Harry’s left ear.
“Keep going.” Harry encouraged gently. Draco smiled in an almost reminiscent manner.
MAD: * coughs and pretends not to have issues about being alone * Isn't anyone going to read with me about how Draco now describes which one of them will take the Pregnancy Potion and what their kids will look like and etc., etc., etc.? *hugs his teddy bear to him* I don't wanna watch the birthing all alone! * whines *
CANDRIA: * sweeps into the room, bringing with her an aura of fake-blonde makeup-clad-even-at-this-hour-of-the- morning cheaply-perfumed tight-fitting pink sundress with white flowers-ness * I don’t know nothin’ ‘bout birthin’ no babies! God, I love that movie soooo much. Why am I telling you? Like you could appreciate the finer arts.
MAD: * screams shrilly before restraining himself * Jeebus on a cracker! I mean . . . hi, darling! What in the hell . . . uh, what brings you to my humble abode?
CANDRIA: * sneers * Upset I’m not a strapping young man? B.C. sent me. Not like I wanna be here, ‘mo. What are we doing anyway?
MAD: * mumbles something about being upset that she's still alive * We're reading this story. I won't waste the time in showing you the beginning chapters so we'll pick up here. And do you spray on a whole bottle of perfume or do you stink naturally?
CANDRIA: God, are you still TALKING?
“I was thinking about how we first met, in Diagon Alley. Strange as it may seem, there was something about you that made me want to know you better. Then, on Hogwarts Express, when I found you again, I couldn’t believe my luck. But when you turned down my hand in friendship, I was shattered, so I tried to cover up my feelings for you with rivalry. Then, late last year, you saw me crying, and instead of mocking me, you comforted me, and offered * your * hand in friendship.
CANDRIA: Really, really FRIENDLY friendship. Quick up-and-down motions included.
MAD: * raises an eyebrow * Well, you WOULD know.
CANDRIA: Poor Maddening, can’t relate to this story? It’s okay. Just pretend he said “offered your mouth in friendship” and it’ll all become clear. Next!
MAD: Bitch.
CANDRIA: I saaaaaaid next.
Again, I couldn’t believe my luck, and I had nothing to lose, so I accepted it. So, for the remainder of that year, over the summer holidays, and for a few weeks into this year, we were friends. But I was also falling for you more and more every day, and finding it harder and harder to keep it under wraps.” Draco paused to take a deep breath. Harry’s eyes pierced into him.
MAD: Have we flown through time or something? What happened to that six week anniversary? Granted, time has passed since then but this must be magical hijinx or * coughauthor'sconveniencecough *. Oh and I can't handle any more lovey dovey parts in this story. * pats to a gurgling tummy * It's me and Pepto Bismol all the way from here.
CANDRIA: Whyyyyyy . . . is she recapping . . . things . . . WE READ??? Gimme a swig of that stuff. Eww, don’t drink it out of the bottle, pig!
MAD: Then buy your own, damn you! * death grip on the bottle *
CANDRIA: * in an unearthly high voice * Stoooooop! GIMME!
MAD: MAKE ME! * screams for Mommy *
THE BIG CHEEKS’ DISEMBODIED VOICE: GET ON WITH IT, YOU BLOODY LITTLE CHILDREN YOU!
CANDRIA AND MAD: * shame-faced * Yes, ma'am. * stick their tongues out at each other *
“Then, Harry” Draco continued. “There was the Prefects Bathroom, a turning point for us both. Our first kiss, and it was amazing. And since then…”
“We’ve had an even more amazing relationship.” Harry finished for him. Draco nodded, a happy smile on his ivory face, which suddenly faded, only to be replaced by a serious, thoughtful expression.
“But there is something else, Harry.”
“And just what would that be?” Harry pulled Draco closer to him. Draco’s pale eyebrows knitted together.
“How much longer until lunch is over?” Harry raised an eyebrow and checked his watch; oblivious to the confused look Draco was giving it.
CANDRIA: Boy, Draco’s kinda . . . ADD there, isn’t he? “Harry I love you you’re so cool OH MY GOD I’m hungry! Are you hungry? I’m so totally hungry LOOK, A DUCKIE!”
“About thirty minutes.”
“Ah, good. That’s plenty of time. Lets go to our secret room.”
“Why there?” Harry asked curiously.
MAD: Because it's a SECRET ROOM, you jackass! Correct me if I'm wrong but this is still a SECRET relationship. Hence a need for SECRECY. They must both have mental trauma. At least Draco has a good excuse. Unless Hagrid's been visitin' Harry lately . . .
CANDRIA: * brightly * Hey, Mad! Tell me again why Remiel was relieved of its duties MSTing this fic?
MAD: For inspiring teenaged morons. Why do you ask?
CANDRIA: No reason at all. Hagrid visiting Harry, eh? Heh.
MAD: It's just an idea . . . oh shit!
CANDRIA: * smug * I just love myself. Shall we move on? Mach schnell?
“Not for action. I have to tell you something important, and private.” Draco replied, almost uneasily. Harry looked at him in confusion for a moment, and then motioned for Draco to lead the way.
Once there, Draco shut the door, muttering ‘Tacturnus Totalus!’ A strong silencing charm.
//Hmm. This must be *really* private if the charm is *that* strong!//
CANDRIA: Okay, hypothetical question here. Let’s say you want to have a private discussion and you know, oh, 4 charms for making sure no one hears. They require the same amount of time and energy, since Draco isn’t drained by this or anything, and one works a lot better than the others. Hmmmm. Which would YOU USE? I frankly don’t give a Gidget whether I’m owning up to my own repeated sexual molestation or planning a surprise party for my hamster! I’LL USE THE BETTER CHARM!
MAD: And what sucks is that I agree with you, you little tart. Hamster? I heard what you did to that hamster . . .
CANDRIA: Hey, I needed the money! And I’m not the one who taped it, MADDENING.
MAD: * looks guilty * Oh . . . oh, look! There's more of this wonderful, edge-of-your-seat story!
“So, what is it that you have to tell me?” Harry asked gently, sitting in front of the unlit fireplace. Draco sat next to him, slim legs drawn up to his chest.
“It’s about…my Father.” The tremble in his voice was so slight that Harry barely noticed it.
“What about him?” Harry gently rubbed Draco’s back, encouraging him to continue and relax a little. Draco inhaled deeply, and stared into his boyfriend’s piercing emerald eyes.
CANDRIA: At which point Harry made a tragic mistake by playfully but roughly grabbing Draco’s ass and shouting “You should always HONOR THY FATHER!” And Draco killed him in self-defense. End of fic. Hooray! Hey, Mad, wanna fu—
MAD: NO! * tries to cross his legs but suddenly can't * One does not repeat mistakes! Hehe . . . I'd like a nice killing spree ending riiiiiiiight 'chere. Where Draco pierces everyone to death with his EYES. Bloody and complete.
CANDRIA: * sings quietly * You make me cooooooooomplete, you make me cooooomplete . . .
“Do you what the first lesson he ever taught me was?” Harry shook his head. “Respect thy family name, love thy Mother and thy neighbor, but above all; Honor Thy Father!” Draco paused to regain control of his slowly shattering self.
MAD: Love thy neighbor? No way! 'Cause why would Lucius Malfoy love a neighbor when he doesn't even love his family? Slowly shattering? As in a little piece here and there? Arm there . . . toe here . . . buttock there . . .
CANDRIA: * the TITULAR LINE ALARM goes off * Titular line alert! This is NOT a drill! Repeat! NOT A DRILL. Ahem. Anyway, I thought the whole point of this fic was that Lucius DID love his family. Without the benefit of Vaseline, remember? Oh, and Draco’s buttocks? Already shattered.
MAD: Well, it depends on your definition of love and since you're already an anal sort of girl . . .
CANDRIA: I’m anal in that I organize all my socks chronologically. You’re anal in the . . . in the . . . LUCIUS SENSE! God, is this thing nearly through? I’m so going to rock your world, Anus Pirate.
MAD: * pulls Candria onto his lap * Almost there. Right there. Mmmhmm.
“In order to ‘honor’ my Father, I was to do whatever he demanded of me, regardless of the consequences. You already know that he beats me. He has beaten me since I was a small child, no older than six. You saw the bruises not long after we became friends, and I explained that to you.
CANDRIA: In a very effective, realistic, character-establishing, heart- wrenching scene which happened entirely in my head. God, Mad, stop wriggling!
MAD: You're the one wriggling! "I remember your explanation, Draco. Never did explain the lipstick marks though. Draco? Draco, where are you going? No sex? No handjob even?"
CANDRIA: “Harry, you insensitive bastard! You know I’m very sensitive about my father’s . . . choice in lipstick. He’s so completely a winter! WHY DOES HE INSIST ON SLAG PINK EVERY DAMN NIGHT? Oh . . . oh God . . . FAAATHER!” Um, Mad, see, that’s not ME wriggling, because I feel a . . . and I don’t HAVE a--
MAD: * slaps a hand on her mouth * 'Nuff of that, sweetums.
But there is more you don’t know about my Father and I, Harry. There is something else that I would never let anybody else know, except you. I love you, and would trust you with my life, which is why I feel that you have a right to know this.” Draco paused again, this time to take a deep breath, and to fight the tears that were building up in his silver eyes.
MAD: "I'm Daddy's Little Girl, Harry. Underneath my robes I'm wearing a dress. A babydoll dress. With young Greek boys playing leapfrog on the hem. Still love me, right, darling?"
CANDRIA: * smacks him on the arm in the most incredibly girlie way you can imagine * Ugh, Mad! You’re such a pig! I don’t know WHY I use you for sex every fortnight or so and then leave nothing behind in the morning except a sarcastic note and a choice photograph. You’re damn lucky to still have the half-hearted semblance of my affection.
MAD: And you're damn lucky that I haven't informed the other boys that you gave me herpes.
CANDRIA: * gasp * You wouldn’t! * wriggles with renewed vigor * Umm . . . loooooove you!
MAD: And I love you too, my sweet whore. My precioussssss.
“My Father is not exactly a faithful husband. In fact, my Mother’s naked body is revolting to him, and he hasn’t touched her, or been inside her in years. But I, on the other hand….” Draco’s voice was obviously trembling now, but the tears were still not falling. He took another deep, calming breath, never breaking his gaze from Harry, and continued.
CANDRIA: So, in other words, pretty much a normal family life. Add a desperate attempt at togetherness in the form of a tense weekly game of Go Fish, and Draco’s got it better than I did.
“I, on the other hand, have won his fancies, even though I have no desires for them. But I have never been able to stop him from acting out his desires on me, on * my * body. Ever since my first year at Hogwarts, he would do and take whatever he wanted from me and with me. At first, it was bearable. I’d have to wank him off, and let him touch me…down there, and then…it was over in a few minutes.
MAD: Oh yeah because every young boy is mentally equipped to deal with helping his father masturbate and abuse him. No problem. It's genetics, see.
CANDRIA: I don’t see a problem here. Not. At. All.
But occasionally, it could get worse than that. If he was in a really nasty mood…he’d force me to
CANDRIA: “ . . . clean my room.”
MAD: " . . . bathe Dobby."
CANDRIA: “ . . . set the table. God, Harry, I can’t even look at a . . . SPOON ON THE LEFT! SPOON ON THE LEFT, GAHDAMMIT! Sorry, I do that sometimes.”
MAD: " . . . have sex with Creed. On the dinner table."
CANDRIA: “You don’t even want to know where the spoon went on THOSE nights.”
*suck* his *cock. *” Draco spat in bitter disgust.
CANDRIA: Oh, that too. By the way? SPAT in BITTER disgust? Sounds a little suggestive to me! Hur hur hur! Where did this language come from anyway? Last paragraph, Draco’s all “down there, in my bad place” and now he’s all . . . you know. * mouths the word * Cock.
Still, for some unknown reason, he managed to keep his tears intact. Harry gently, almost hesitantly, draped an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders. Draco snuggled closer to him, still shaking, their eyes never breaking from each other.
CANDRIA: “Oww, Harry! I told you not to mess around with the Eyeball Meld Charm!” And keep his tears INTACT? What in the name of gin and tonic does that mean? Do they normally shatter as they leave his tear duct or something?
MAD: He cries icicles just as he squeezes diamonds out of coal with his ass.
CANDRIA: If my son could do THAT, I’d be tempted with the midnight shenanigans too. (she stops and turns toward you, the reading audience) Hi, folks. Ummm . . . never, ever rape your kid in the ass. (NBC jingle plays . . . “The More You Know” appears over Candria’s head briefly. Then the spell is broken and she turns back to the monitor, shaking her head briskly) God, I hate it when B.C. does that to us.
“But the worst started only last Christmas. My report card had a B+ on it, and my Father expected * straight A’s. * Nothing less. To top it all off, I back answered him, which got him really mad. So…he took my fucking virginity while I was under the Imperious curse. He fucked me senseless and made me beg him for more…” Draco trailed off and began sobbing uncontrollably, curled up in Harry’s strong arms.
MAD: "Hawwy, Daddy stole 'Mione's repowt cawd and then he said I couldn't go to Wizawd Land but that he had another kind of game for us to play. And then Daddy showed me his wand and said it could take my temperature and it was COLD, Hawwy!"
CANDRIA: That’s like the mental state I’M in right now.
MAD: No worries, dear. I got just the prescription for post-traumatic stress disorder. It's called BEER.
CANDRIA: * takes a swig * Wriggle away, Mad. Cheers.
“Oh, Gods! How can you bear to fucking touch me, Harry? I’m so fucking impure. So…dirty and violated.” His voice had a raw, harsh edge to it, like that of a sword that has been through many battles.
CANDRIA: Gotta love the sudden attempt at a striking metaphor in tandem with the ubiquitous “fuck.” That’s LIT- RIT-CHURE, Buddy. Hit me again.
MAD: How many battles exactly? Not that I'm buying the videos . . .
CANDRIA: Many or some crap like that. 5 is many methinks. Or maybe a lot more—AHH, GOD! A SWORD? That is RAW from having been through many BATTLES? * holds her hands up like puppets * Hello, Mr. Freud. Hello, Wyrd Sista!
“You’re none of those things.” Harry answered, planting a soft, comforting kiss on Draco’s forehead. Draco snuggled closer into Harry, still sobbing, and curled himself into Harry’s lap.
MAD: Draky is a LITTLE thing, ain't he? Curling up in Big Harry's strong comforting strong warm strong embrace. It's so sweet to see this loving relationship in the midst of images of rape and abuse. Drinking bittersweet ambrosia of Pop's. I could just draw graphic art for the cover, print this baby out, and kiss my ass goodbye for selling child pornography.
CANDRIA: I keep waiting for Draco to start using the litter box in this fic or something. I mean, how much more like Harry’s little stray cat foundling could he BE? He even cleans his hands of semen like a cat. I mean, hah, like a cat cleans its paws, not how a cat would clean Draco of semen. God. I never thought I’d utter THAT sentence. I think this story ruined me, somehow.
MAD: Do me a favor and stay far away from Hamlet. 'Cause that will just blow your mind, hon. Wonder if Draco's kitty tail is used to pleasure Harry? "Transfigure, Draco! I need some feline fun!"
CANDRIA: Oh, come on, no one would write a fic like THAT. * eyes shift back and forh suddenly, and suspenseful music plays *
“Not to me, Draco. How can you be impure when you have a wonderful heart and a beautiful soul, both of which are intact, and uninvolved with the dark side? How can you be dirty when what Lucius did to you was not your fault? Your mind may be different because of what he has done, but like I said before, your heart and your soul are intact and untarnished, which, in my opinion, means that you are pure, flawless, and beautiful. I *love* you, Draco, and nothing, I mean *nothing* is going to change my the way I feel about you!”
CANDRIA: Completely ignoring the last sentence, which appears to be the love child of Mr. Poor Revision and Miss Types-too-fast. Boy, Harry has an odd definition of flawless, doesn’t he? Draco obviously has biiiiig issues with self-worth and loathing here. But it’s all okay, y’see! Because Harry loves him! It’s all okay . . . it’s all okay . . . * begins to slowly but surely rock back and forth * Mad? Make it stop hurting. Please. I promise I’ll call you this time!
MAD: It would take A LOT of sex to wash away this story, Candria. A LOT. Oh and Harry, snookums? Draco just MIGHT be a dirty boy 'cause we've already established he just may enjoy Daddy's torture technique. He's pure like white lines on Narcissa's tabletop.
CANDRIA: Please! No more, no more! * begins to weep, a miniature Nile of mascara streaming down her face *
MAD: Oh wait, sweetheart! There's a bit more to this story! * hands her a tissue and pats her on the rump *
“I love you.” Harry repeated. The tears continued to fall from Draco’s silver eyes and down his ivory cheeks, but each one was gently, lovingly kissed away by Harry’s warm, soft mouth.
“I love you too, Harry.” Draco whispered.
MAD: Now doesn't that make you feel all warm and cozy inside? Look how Harry kisses his pretty, ivory kitty cat!
CANDRIA: * brightens up very suddenly, beaming and sitting with an unnaturally erect—heh—posture * We’re sorry. The Cheeks you have dialed is not available. Please leave your name and number, and she’ll get back to you. * beep! beep! *
THE BIG CHEEKS: Maddening! Did you break ANOTHER one?
MAD: With all due respect, mistress, this one was already a few sandwiches short of a picnic. But my powers of seduction will help the healing process, I assure you. * combs Candria's hair and paints her nails a trampy red *
CANDRIA: Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha.
THE BIG CHEEKS: Dammit. Well, we’ve already had to switch MSTers once. I’ll have to go get her understudy. Wait here.
(a pause.)