2001/2002's Has-Beens
Kristin IzgherianIf you want to know how much crap Chrystler quality is then look no further than their security force. Who's supposed to be making sure no one leaves a porn movie in your new Caravan VCR for the soccer team to stumble upon? Kristin. What makes us think she's not fit for this job? The fact that she likes that Nickelback/Spiderman song. Looks like Chrystler stock will be plummeting. How long have her and Jordan been married? Kristin likes ninjas waaaay too much. You're only supposed to like ninjas if you're 22, living with your parents, and read comic books. Oh wait, that's Jordan. Anyway, she lives in Canada (AKA America Jr) and likes hip rap music a lot too. Doesn't mix with pale suburban Canadians. She also once tried to get us drunk to take advantage of us with Sour Apple Pucker and 7UP. Nice try, but it takes a Cosmopolitan to score with Jason.
Email Kristin: missy_kiki@hotmail.com
Height: 36 Fists
Weight: Not enough for a union worker
Hair: greazy
Eyes: googly
Blood type: devious
Occupation: teamster
Daniel Yount
We haven't known Dan for too long and we consider that a good thing. The only true Yount we hold in our hearts is Robin Yount. Dan came into our lives when he teamed up with Melanie Shiposh (see past scabs) to ruin trick or treat for all children. He drives a Honda V-Tec which means he's trying to compensate for something. Dan works for Progressive auto insurance scamming elderly people out of their social security. Rumor has it that he's good at Karate and we figure he had to learn to fight since he got picked on so much in grade school. For some reason he likes giving Keith back rubs. Anyone we meet at the Bellville Street Fair can't be that great.
Email Dan:
Dan isn't digitally available
Height: Keith's dad's height or so
Weight: skeletor
Hair: used to be Andy Garcia, now it's more like Jerry Garcia
Eyes: only for Melane?
Blood type: NOT extreme
Occupation: good back rub
Alex Cikos
what do you get when you add one part Serb and two parts Jerk, then mix in LA? Chances are that you answered Alex Cikos. Alex likes to sell coffee. He also likes to sell-out to Corporate America. Next time you see Alex, ask him how the Frappuchinos are selling. He's also from LA, not impressive.
DID YOU KNOW: alex spent a week at CuddleBreeders' headquarters this past summer. yeh, Keith is still cleaning the Coco Wheat stains off the couch.
Email Alejandro:
acikos2@aol.com
Height: freakish
Weight: and see
Hair: like Horshack
Eyes: dollar signs
Blood type: has-been
Occupation: coffee punk
Marky Janca
*MARKYS INFO HAS BEEN LOST*
not very important anyway
Nancy Cikos
Nan-C. the sound of her name alone scares people. coming from a serbian family, she gets angry a lot. she bites people. nancy attends the los angeles city schools that totally screams, "4th grade reading level." Buffy the Vampire Slayer is filmed at her school. that is gay. does anyone watch that show anymore? Email NC: freak0705@aol.com
Height: short for a serb
Weight: we think she's pretty light
Hair: like a hedgehog
Eyes: starry
Blood type: east la hardcore
Occupation: gas pumper
Richard PfeifferUPDATE 12.17.01: Rich's last name is PFEIFFER not PHEIFFER. do we ever feel stupid.
richard, the lesser pfeiffer, or shall we say the lesser janca? the younger brother of beloved georg, rich likes to drink beer while he plays hockey. he's also a newlywed, so any respect you have for him now, toss it. he sold Kitchener out for Windsor and currently lives in a frat house, delta delta gamma or something along those lines. richard has also bad mouthed the CB newsletter. why we still send him one and why he is a SOW, we do not know. we certainly hope his wife loves him because we don't. Email rich: cliffy45@hotmail.com
Height: fee fi fo fum
Weight: train wreck
Hair: casual
Eyes: like a hawk
Blood type: german? serb? swedish? punk?
Occupation: married
Goran Nedeljkoric
what could possess the cuddlebreeders to actually take the time and post a scab like this guy? like california, we don't waste time. goran is the cali exception. time waste he does best - he sits in an office, plays with a computer, and calls it work.
living in LA = nobody overly impressed. hey goran, get a real city! a serbian by birth, we hope not by choice. props must be given to this guy for quitting that joke called Bratwurst E Braces. Email goran b/c we won't:
goran_ned@yahoo.com
Height: more the merrier
Weight: all the more to love
Hair: absent
Eyes: wreckless abandon
Blood type: legally drunk
Occupation: boxed wine taster
Ana Udicki
Quick!Name something worse than California boys. That's right, Michigan girls. Meet Ana Udicki, a downright pitiful girl from Detroit Rock City - and we thought DET was crap enough with Eminem, Kid Rock, Uncle Kracker, and D12. Now comes Ana. She drives a Volvo and breaks it a lot. she has a condo in Canada and she thinks that makes her Canadian.
newsflash girlfriend: WINDSOR is not really Canada. after reading this, please wash your hands. Email Anna if you must:
anabanana_85@hotmail.com
Height: deceiving
Weight: and see
Hair: hokie-pokie brown
Eyes: confused
Blood type: sour apple pucker'd
Occupation: powderpuff footballer