As he laid on his cot, I begged God for more time with him and even asked Beau to visit me after he left. When I had a dream about Beau a couple weeks later, I felt my bed shake twice, like a dog jumping on it...

He who lives by medical prescriptions lives miserably.
- proverb

After Beau turned 13, he started to gradually lose his hearing. I was fine with that as long as Beau didn't mind. I accept the aging factor; he was becoming an older boy. His coat also thinned in some areas, and he had a couple of warts. Again, part of aging and I was fine with those, as long as they didn't bother him either. Beau didn't need to be perfect for my continual love of him. I admit that in my heart, I was a bit angry that he was no longer young and that he would not be with me very long; time went by too darn fast. I am forever grateful he didn't get cancer or other debilitating diseases that could've caused him great inconvenience or pain. Based on the necropsy, even if he had gone through one or two surgeries to have that tumor and the stones removed, his heart wasn't in good shape plus there's a high risk in having to put an older dog under anesthesia. With the surgeries, Beau would possibly be very sore and confused due to his age, plus the prognosis for dealing with his enlarged heart over time would be very poor. Looking back, I believe God spared Beau and me the grief of what he would have gone through if he had not made a graceful exit in time: there's no guarantee the surgeries would be successful and I personally would've been a basket case taking Beau back and forth to the hospital. However, the staff at Alta Vista complimented me by saying that Beau looked the same all his life (as in aged well) due to my excellent care of him. Of course, if it were my way in a perfect world, I want Beau back and sitting right next to me right now. Why do organs have to be so mean?? It hurts. I spent the next several days crying and crying and eventually becoming numb. The surrealism of Beau being gone has been unbearable. He was my first dog, my first boy. Shopping has been hard; every time I came home with bags, Beau squealed and pranced around and peaked in to see what I bought. Now, it's so quiet. I miss his voice, bark. I miss him alerting me that the UPS driver was at my door. I'd find myself with more time in my hands in that I no longer could tell Beau to "Sit" or even struggle with his mats or clean up his potty papers. I groomed his thick long coat almost daily for over 14 years; I never got sick of it and always kept it long with just a hygiene trim around his anus and private. I fed him premium-brand dog food dry and changed his water twice daily and made sure he had excellent care throughout his life. I took care of him exclusively. For that, I am very proud and thankful that I was able to have Beau with me for 14 fun years- 14 years of my life. It was so romantic and nostalgic the day I adopted him: I was in my 20s living in a large studio apartment with Cleo before upgrading to a large one-bedroom, to provide Beau with a semblence of a stable life in the same apartment with a large private balcony that almost looks like a deck. It was such a package deal with myself, Beau, and Cleo billed as a Threesome. When Cleo passed away, Beau and I were devastated. With a succession of a new kitty Rudy and eventually, Brandy, after Rudy passed on, Beau was so happy. The ever-optimistic Brandy has made it much easier for me to get out of bed. I have been taking care of myself, eating/drinking well, and being able to get out of my home. While Brandy looked around wondering where Beau was, she has been taking his absence pretty well afterwards and even napped under the rocking chair where Beau used to lounged occasionally. I'd pretend that Beau is away at camp...

I have beautiful pictures and videos of Beau (that many) that hold a special place for me to remember him by. I also have imprints of his pawprint. I definitely feel that I was a very good mommy to him, and if I had made any mistakes anywhere in raising him, I heartfully apologized, and I know he had already forgiven me, and I will make sure not to repeat those mistakes onto a new Shih Tzu baby whom I will adopt someday. Beau, you have been a wonderful son to me and I know you are having fun in Heaven with God and Jesus and are looking out for me every single time. Thanks for all the love and happiness you brought to me.

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
- Roger Caras

It's ok, Sweet Boy
It's ok, sweet boy, I want you to know
It''s ok, now, you can let go...
You can stop hanging on to that little thread
of the love of us and the life you've led.
It's ok, sweet boy, you can let go.
Oh, I know you see the tears in my eye
And you don't want to see mommy cry
But worse than my sorrow at losing you
Would be causing more suffering for you to go through...
It's ok, sweet boy, you can let go.
I've heard of a place they call Rainbow Bridge-
And though it is story to comfort doggie mom's like me
I trust that God, our Creator in His Eternity
Has a place for the likes of a fine boy like you
And that someday I'll see you again too.
It's ok, sweet boy, you can let go,
I'm crying so hard as I watch you today
And remember all the fun we had
And how I loved to watch you play
And I always hated the thought of this day but...
It's ok, sweet boy, you can let go.
Oh, Father God, Creator above
You gave me this doggie to treasure and love
And I can't stand to watch him suffer
but It's so hard to let go
I love him so much
Can You please tell him so
And whisper to him
It's ok, sweet boy, you can let go...
-Thena

It Was Your Time
It was your time, sweet furry friend
It was your time and we had to let you go
But it was not because we loved you any less
Just that for you we wanted what was best.
We could not stand by and watch you suffer
As daily you tried so valiantly
To do as you used to do
And to be what you used to be.
It was so hard to let you go
And my grieving days are not yet through
For no matter how many years may pass
There is a place in our hearts reserved just for you.
-Thena

I believe that the loss of a beloved companion animal is like no other loss because our relationships with animals are like no other. Our culture tells us that an animal companion is an engaging toy, and that our grief over its death is alarming and ill-paced. And our culture is just flat wrong...Animals are more to us than we know. Their partnership with us is a holy one that endures across a lifetime and possibly beyond.
- Susan Chernak McElroy

To Those I Love
When I am gone, just release me, let me go - so I can move into my afterglow. You mustn't tie me down with our tears; let's be happy that we had so many years. I gave you my love, you can only guess how much you gave me in happiness. I thank you for the love you each have shown, but now it's time I traveled on alone. So grieve for me awhile, if grieve you must, then let your grief be comforted with trust. It's only for a while that we must part, so bless the memories within your heart. And then, when you must come this way alone, I'll greet you with a smile and a 'Welcome Home'.
- unknown

I miss the wagging little tail;
I miss the plaintive, pleading wail;
I miss the wistful, loving glance;
I miss the circling welcome-dance.
- Henry Willett, "In Memoriam"

From Your Faithful Friend
You're giving me a special gift
so sorrowfully endowed
And through this last few cherished weeks,
your courage made me proud.
But really, love is knowing
when your best friend is in pain,
and understanding earthly acts
will only be in vain.
So looking deep into your eyes,
beyond into your soul.
I see in you the magic
that will once more make me whole.
The strength that you possess is why
I look to you today to do this thing
that must be done,
For it's the only way.
That strenth is why I've followed you
And chose you as my friend,
and why I've loved you all these years,
My partner til the end.
Please understand just what this gift
you're giving means to me,
It gives me back
the strength I've lost and all my dignity.
You take a stand on my behalf
for that is what friends do
And know that what you do is right,
for I believe it too
So one last time, I breathe your scent,
and through your hand I feel,
the courage that's within you
to now grant me this appeal.
Cut the leash that holds me here,
Dear friend, and let me run,
once more a strong and steady dog
My pain and struggle done.
And don't despair my passing
For I won't be far away.
Forever here, within your heart
and memory I will stay.
I'll be there watching over you,
your ever faithful friend
And in your memories I will run,
a young dog once again.
- unknown

~ Karen Catalioto, Owner ~
Phoenix, Arizona
January 31, 2007

I met Beau at breeder Debi's (Shanghai Shih Tzu) house. I was told by phone from another breeder about Debi's litter of puppies being available. When I phoned Debi, she announced that they were 9 weeks old and available for adoption. I drove over and was first greeted by Debi and Beau's dam, Kodee. Debi introduced Beau's grandmother Muffee, who was also on the premise, and showed me a framed picture of the sire, Budy and sire's sister, Gabee. There was a littter of liver & white 5 puppies, 4 boys and 1 girl. I sat down with Debi inside the circled gate and played with them. We chatted a bit, and Debi showed me letters from her previous clients, and I also pored through The Shih Tzu Reporter magazine. As the littermates walked over to the other side to huddle football-style, Beau looked over to me as if to say, "Oh, I thought you left for home already?" He politely walked over and sort of bowed, "Well, nice to meet ya" before heading back over to his littermates. Debi and I quickly averted each other and motioned that it looked like this little charmer was the perfect pick to take home(!) She encouraged me to come back later to think it over some more. Within 2 weeks, I'd phone Debi a couple times to ask how Beau was doing and announced that I decided to adopt Beau. I selected the name "Beau" from that Reporter that featured a black stud named Beau. When I officially adopted Beau on December 2, 1992, Beau had turned 3 months old. Debi told me he was secondborn at 4 ozs. We signed adoption papers, and I excitedly drove Beau home. That would make him my first dog. Debi said that I'd fall in love with him, and I did, of course! Upon arriving home, Beau was greeted by Cleo, my then 7-year-old tuxedo cat, who blew a nice hiss at him then walked away waiting for her meal. Beau started to explore around his new home as I snapped several pictures. I was a papparazzo. What an adorable baby he was, I thought! From that very day on, we were conjoined at the heart...

Beau was a dream model boy. Within a week, he was fully housebroken (yes, at 3 months old). He knew what the command "Sit" meant. He didn't even chew my furniture. He was so good to Cleo without bothering her like chasing her; throughout the years, he was also very good to Rudy and Brandy and in turn, they were so accepting of him. As a reward, I had Beau tested for AKC's Canine Good Citizen (CGC) test, and he passed after only one try. He was also eventually tested by the Therapy Dogs International (TDI) to be a petting therapy dog at nursing homes part-time. Beau also won many blue rosettes and ribbons for the category of 'best groomed' at fun dog shows manned by no-kill shelters. Beau even loved plane rides, and we both met Hollywood celebrities who adored him. Actress Linda Blair later said that Beau was a patient dog. He and I even rode the city bus to visit the Arizona State Fair (much better than parking therer). I sort of regret that Beau never saw snow, but that's okay...he was born and raised in Arizona. But, he did sit in an inflated boat in the pool. Best of all, it was just plain fun to drive around town with Beau and visiting friends and PetsMart- he loved to ride in the cart. I took him to the mall, the park, a small amusement park, the library, the professional portrait studio, and even the nightclub. I made sacrifices...I had a job working in my home so I could stay home and spend quantity time with Beau, Beau influenced my buying power in that he inspired my interest in rubber stamping & scrapbooking as well as figurines- many purchases in Shih Tzu theme, and just living in the same residence for so long (which is uncommon in Arizona). I even gave up my bed frame so I could lower my mattress closer to the ground for Beau to jump on/off with ease due to his long body/short arms & legs. Oh, what fun Beau and I had as a team. He was so flawless and handsome, I often refer him as my hairy son. Oh, so adorable. I miss him so much it hurts. Bless you, Beau, and rest in peace and have fun with God. I know your ashes in a beautiful urn is only an earthy possession, but I will hold what was once your beautiful body and possession inside a special location that is called a shadowbox that I made for you, to cherish the memories you and I had for so long. Someday, we shall meet Upstairs! Stairway to Heaven...

Dear Karen,
All my love & hugs at this saddest of sad times. I am crying at my computer as i type to you. We don't know eachother but I always read your posts. I have a Beau too & he sends his love too. Treasure all the very best of times you guys had together.
~ Lise & the Aussie Beau

Dear Karen,  I am so sorry to hear about Beau's passing.  My sincerest condolences.
~ Carol and Maxxi Million

gracie
My heart is with you, Karen. You are definitely not alone. As you know, I just went through this for the first time a little over 2 years ago with my first shih tzu, corey. the tribute you wrote for beau is really beautiful and the way you handled his last night showed tremendous courage and love. he must have felt so peaceful and secure all night by your side. now he is strong again and will be your litte angel.
Corey also had an enlarged heart and kidney problems. She, too, died very peacefully on my mom's lap at age 13 which was such a huge blessing for me b/c she loved my mom and i know she felt safe at that moment. I know it is heart-wrenching, regardless, with a flood of emotions. I didn't know what to feel or do. But I sat by my computer one night for hours when i was ready, crying as I read all the poems and tributes. This helped. I found one called 'Solace' which has been such an inspiration. I printed out the poem for corey along with some additional words, framed it and hung it on the wall in my apartment. In time, you will figure out what things you want to do to honor him. Don't worry if they seem silly. These things will just come to you over time and you should do all of them exactly the way you want to. This has helped me so tremendously. I planted a bush for Gracie in my parents' garden and one near my country house, the place she loved. I visit the cemetery where she is buried in an open field and have created and hung a special tribute there for her as well. There is also one very excellent book (the loss of a pet by dr. wallace sife) which describes the animal-human bond so perfectly. he was able to put into words exactly what i felt. if you get the book, read pp. 5-6. it is incredible. sife is a renowned pet bereavement counselor who has gone through a loss of his pet.
I also wrote many lovely tributes to corey to let my friends know that she passed away. it took me two weeks before i could bring myself to do that. I also wear a small pin for corey, and gracie has the same pin on her collar.
i knew i would get one again but it took me a year to seriously consider it and then another year and a half to actually be ready to get one. i thought long and hard about how i would feel before i got gracie and then, once i was definitely ready , i got gracie. i felt a tremendous sense of relief when i brought her in here like a huge weight had been lifted off of me. i was definitely ready.
i had an enormous bond with corey but i can tell you and everyone else that it is possible to love one again when you are ready regardless of how much you love yours. while there will never be another corey, beau, etc, these litte monsters are so similar to one another. it's just the characteristics of this wonderful breed. they are similar but each one also has their own set of wonderful surprises in addition to that shih tzu stuff we love.
it goes without saying, everyone deals with these losses very differently. i was only in my teens when i got corey and since i do not have any kids yet, she felt like my litte one and so does gracie. however, there are many people who have kids who also feel the same way so they react in whatever way feels right.
so do whatever brings you some comfort when you are ready. i love this board and everything here will obviously be in Beau's honor. thanks, karen for sharing this very special part of your life with us. i hope we can all help you and each other here now and in the future, in honor of beau.
---
Animals and their love stay in our souls once we let them in and we are better for it, more complete, more whole, more compassionate, and often transformed. Author: Teresa Wagner

Karen, i am so sorry to hear of Beau's passing.... You were always here for me when Harley was sick last year and I am so sorry that there is nothing anyone can do to stop your hurting. I didn't realize you were in the same area as me. It was the Alta Vista Animal Hospital that were able to save my Harley.....they truly are special people!
Run free sweet Beau, you are young again!
~ Harley's Mom (aka Louise)

Beth
Karen,
I can only say as a mainly lurker what an inspiration and help this board has been to us. As a 1st time Shih Tzu owner, your experiences shared here... the wisdom shared here and the absolute love shared here, have and continue to be a source of comfort to me.
I'm so very sorry for your loss with Beau. After losing 2 life long and life changing kitties of 10+ years (within a year of each other), I can't imagine how difficult the passing of Beau might be. I'm so glad you had the last 12-48 hours to spend with him. In time I know you will appreciate the calmness and peacefulness about that moment that nature took over. Beau spared you that moment with the vet and a needle. In time I hope you realize what a blessing Beau shared with you to not have to endure that "moment".
I KNOW it is necessary at times for the vet to come in, but after experiencing it twice in very different times with my furkitties, I can't imagine having to make that choice with my furbaby Shih Tzu.
Thank you for all you have done and all you do. Please know there are people here who embrace you and understand what a lose it is to lose a lifelong pet/furbaby/family member... know we love you and understand. Feel free to vent when you feel necessary. I've always appreciated and looked forward to your posts from the both of you. Thanks a million for your knowledge and the furbaby who gave you that knowledge. Hugs to you.
~ Berk

Karen,
I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your special friend, companion and furry paw mate. Nothing is more painful than losing a companion that has been by our side through thick and thin and has loved us no matter what. My heart goes out to you as well as my thoughts and prayers. Beau was so lucky to have you as his fur-mom. I can't imagine another person that would have loved him more than you. I know how hard it was that he left you but that was an amazing gift you gave him to be holding him when he passed. He has left you with his paw prints on your heart forever. No one will take his place in your heart. He will always be with you in spirit and your heart. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you get through this okay?
~ Danielle

Chris & Meeka
Dear Karen, I am so sorry to hear of precious Beau's passing. Your tender telling of his last moments brought tears to my eyes. Bless his loving heart. Take care sweet lady.
~ hugs, Chris

I have been lurking for so long, you might not remember me. But regardless of whether you do or don't know me, I want to offer you my condolences. I am so very sorry for your heartbreaking loss. I know how much Beau meant to you, and that no matter how much you will love your next dog, no one can take Beau's place. He will hold a special place in your heart forever. Your treasured friend will never be forgotten, and I am sure he knows how very much his mommy dearly loved him. Karen, you gave Beau such a wonderful life, and I am sure he will be forever happy knowing he was so well loved.
Sleep well, dear Beau.
~ Lanie

Oh no Karen, I cannot believe this! I'm sitting her bawling my eyes out! You and Beau and this board was my very first connection to the Shih Tzu world five years ago. I know your heart is breaking as mine is for him. You did the right thing and you know Beau lived a very happy, more than full life with you. I know there is nothing I can say to comfort you right now. Please know I'm here to talk whenever you need to and please email me when you'd like to. I'm just so sick over this and I wish I could do something to make it better. I know how much joy Beau brought to you being there for you with everything and helping you out to when you needed him. I'll remember you guys in my prayers and remember he loved you very much!!!
Hugs to you friend and I'm so very sorry...
~ Angie

Dani and Maggie Mae
Karen,
I know that I have never met you or Beau but after a few years of posting and at times lurking on this message board it felt like I did. I am crying as I write this.
This is just the saddest thing I have heard in a long time. Your retelling of the events of the last fews days showed just how much you loved Beau and wanted the best for him. It is truly a beautiful thing and I so admire you for being strong and brave when Beau needed you.
He had a wonderful life and if you ever decide to bring another dog into your life, it will be a very lucky tzu to have you.
You and Beau are in my thoughts and prayers.
~ Dani

Eve
Oh Karen. I'm soo sorry to hear that Beau has passed on. Your words brought me such sadness and rememberence of my Oscar's passing. I know how alone you feel and I'm just soo grateful that he went in your arms. Just know the peace that that brought Beau. I'll be saying prayers for you and Beau. He's now running free and healthy over the Bridge.

Karen, I was totally shocked to hear this.  I cried hard when I read this and I know how precious Beau was to you.  It was a blessing that he did not suffer much but nevertheless; him being gone is such a tremendous loss and he left a big hole in your heart; I am sure.  Don't know what to say to you except Beau had the best mommy possible and he knew that.  You so tenderly made his transition to the Rainbow Bridge a peaceful one and now he is there waiting for you.  He hasn't any pain and is probably romping with Gina while awaiting us.  Take care Karen and prayers are being said for you.  Beau was one cherished pet; unlike so many of the dogs that didn't get rescued in time.
Hugs and Love,
Aggie

Ziggy and Nemos mom
I just wanted to let you know I am so sorry for your loss. As someone who has been there, the pain does take a long time to pass. We will keep you in our prayers.
~ Debbi

Please accept my deepest condolences on your precious Beau's passing. From your postings here, you have obviously been a very good mother to him and both of you were blessed to have been able to share your lives together. I will keep you in my prayers.
~ Tracy

Sally
I am so sorry. How wonderful to have you in those last moments. He felt your love and that is really a nice thing. He didn't pass away without you. It is heartbreaking nevertheless.
I am so very sorry. I wish they could live MUCH longer. The pain is so sharp. I know how it is and I just pray you feel a little better every day.
Run Free and healthy now at the bridge, sweet Beau...

maddie
Dear Karen,
I couldn't help but cry to hear about Beau.... Please, know that you are in our prayers. You were a great mother to him, and he was one the luckiest Tzu to have you. It is conforting to know that his passing away was so peaceful and he had you at the moment.
Share with us anytime you need to. That's what we are here for!

Cassie
Please accept my condolences. I am so sorry to hear about Beau. As a new mom to a furbaby. I can't imagine.... anyway, You and Beau are in my prayers...

Sunlite
I'm so sorry to hear that Beau passed. My heart goes out to you Karen.

I'm so sorry for your loss.. I'll be praying for you in this difficult time...
~ Amanda Varner (Tukyr's Mommy)

Karen,
We are so sorry to hear of Beau's passing. We all cried as we read your words. He had a great life and knew how much you loved him. I know how much you will miss him and how much it hurts to lose them. You are in our prayers.
Goodbye sweet Beau.
~ Michelle

Karen...I am sitting here with tears in my eyes for you. I am so sorry for your loss...
~ Susan

Cackle
Karen, nothing I say will help but I'm thinking of you.

just wanted to let you know that i am sorry to hear about beau.
~ samantha

Jackie & Josie
I cried like a baby reading his memorium page! I can only hope I am as good a mommy to Josie as you were to Beau for 14 years. I'm so sorry. I know how much it hurts to lose a furkid suddenly. It will be four years on the 23rd that my Lacey passed over and I still cry thinking about that day.
Take care!
~ Jackie

Lena
I was shocked to see about Beau passing. I am so sorry, I can't imagine how you must feel. I cried reading your page about him. I'll remember you in my prayers. God bless..

Maureen & Chloe
Hi Karen .. I am soooo sorry to read about ur baby boy ... I know he was ur world. He did so well Karen didn't he ... certainly had many years with you. I know the loss must have been hard for u. Time heals and I'm sure u are getting there. I hope u find a new baby soon that can fill that void Karen. I know a new one cannot replace Beau ... but it's a big distraction and helps u to move forward. Thinking of you (((big hug)))) xxx

Sorry hear Beau passed away
God Bless You Karen
Hug Jan

• Click to visit

RUDY MEMORIAM PAGE
October 21, 1999 ~ May 17, 2004

• Click to visit

CLEO MEMORIAM PAGE
January 23, 1985 ~ January 17, 2001

• My interview about my life with Beau, by Jonathan Agronsky

• my memorial page for my friend Aggie's Shih Tzu "Gina"

• The SHIH TZU FORUM(tm) Home Page inspired by Beau
(Guest book is over there)

© 2007 & 2008 Karen Catalioto

To contribute, please e-mail me or send to:

Thanks very much for your cards and well wishes.

Dear Karen,
There could be no Shih Tzu in the world that would pass up the chance to be cared and loved by the beautiful love you have shown so gracefully to us all. We love Beau and we have all been brought to this one place, a place for smiles, friendship, answers, and yes tears, because of Beau and Your love for him.

But with those tears that are shed in light of the one we love, That light that is cast through those tears, and we create a beautiful rainbow, Beau is never gone for he will always remain, looking back as he crosses Rainbow Bridge giving all his friends and loved ones assurance he will be there to greet them for in our hearts and memories, he will remain
Our Forever Friend...
Scott & Buddha 2007