For whom should you regularly pray?

Read John 17:1-26

Jesus prayed for his disciples, including those of us who follow him today.  He prayed that God would keep his chosen believers safe from Satan's power, setting them apart and making them pure and holy uniting them through his truth.  The lives of Jesus' disciples reveal his character, and he is present to the world through them.

Does your life reveal Jesus' character and presence?

Jesus prayed for all who would follow him, including you and others you know.  He prayed for unity, protection from the evil one,  and sanctity (holiness), knowing that Jesus prayed for us should give us confidence as we work for his kingdom.

What two phrases sum up your goal for the past year?  How does this relate to God's purpose?

How are your prayers for others like and unlike Jesus' prayer?  Do you prayers reflect the short-term urgent, or the long-term important needs that people have?

If Jesus prayed only for the urgent needs of his disciples, how would this prayer be different?

Goals

Participants may:

1. Discuss together the what and the how of prayer.

2. Deepen their relationships with one another by seeking God in prayer with other group members.

3. Experience together the joys and difficulties of prayer.

4. Become better able to pray with others.

5. Experience Christian community in prayer.

Opening Prayer

Lord God, you invite us to approach you freely in prayer.  Teach us to approach you confidently both alone and in the company of others.  Teach us how to lead others into your presence, to go hand-in-hand with them to the throne of grace and love. Amen.

Lead-In

In this lesson, we will learn more about prayer by discussing it and praying together.  We will explore our own feeling about prayer.  We will explore what intimacy with God and with each other can mean as we pray to him.

Prayer

Prayer is supposed to be matter-of-fact for Christian, taken for granted as part of the faith environment.  Yet it remains one of the most difficult resources to use appropriately and effectively in training relationships.  This is true for clergy and laity alike, but especially for lay people.  Many believe that praying with someone is a right limited to clergy.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  It  is every Christian's right and responsibility to pray with others as the opportunity arises.

A major reason people are reluctant to pray with others is their uncertainty as to how to go about it.  They are unsure about why they should pray with others,  when to pray, how to pray, what to pray about, and even where to pray.

While the focus of this lesson will be the use of prayer in more-or-less structured training sessions, much of this material will apply to  everyday encounters with others.  I hope this lesson will reaffirm your existing skills and suggest new ways to use prayer in training situations.

Why Pray with Others

God invites his people to draw near and share their concerns with him by means of prayer.  God also specifically invites his people to approach him in prayer together.  James 5:16 urges "Pray for one another."  The context clearly shows that the reference is to two or more people praying together.

Not only do we pray for each other because God urged it; we also pray together because Jesus added his special promises to shared prayer:

"Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.  For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I in the midst of them" (Matt. 18:19-20).

What a powerful incentive to pray together!  When you pray with another, God is the third party in a training relationship, actively concerned for you and for the person with whom you are praying.  In prayer God has promised to listen to you attentively, to understand your needs, and to answer your requests.  Thus, your motivation for praying with others extends far beyond the fulfillment of a religious formality.

Another reason for mutual prayer is the beneficial effects on your relationship with the other person.  Consider what an intimate personal experience prayer is.  As you are honest with the God "from whom no secrets are hid,"  you are also honest and open with each other.  As you draw nearer to God, you will naturally draw closer to each other.

Intimacy that grows as a result of joint prayer, is intimacy seldom experienced in contemporary society.

Jesus said:

"But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you" (Matt. 6:6).

Some people think this means that prayer always needs to be very private and personal, taking place only between God and the person.  The context shows that Jesus is warning against false piety, not against praying together.  He is warning people against parading their religiosity for others to see.  Your purpose in praying with others is very different.  You are sharing their burdens and involving God in the process.

When to Pray

When It's Natural

Prayer should come as a natural part of a total visit.  Because prayer cannot be programmed beforehand, You need to determine the proper moment to pray.  That judgment depends on the other person's needs, not yours.  In other words, don't pray when you are ready to pray,  but when the other person is ready.  Careful listening will help you ascertain when prayer is appropriate.  Your goal is for prayer to be a natural part of your conversation, not an intrusion or  interruption.

Not as an Injection

Prayer should not be tacked on to a visit artificially.  It is not an injection enabling you suddenly to bring in the Christian viewpoint.  If a visit has not demonstrated Christian.  If for some reason you do not include a prayer, this does not mean that  your visit is not distinctively Christian.  Whether you pray or not, your entire visit must reflect Christian distinctiveness through your love and care for the other person.  When you pray, it needs to be part of a total Christian visit.

Not as a Technique for Leaving

Although it is a common practice to close a visit with prayer, you occasionally might want to pray with people at times other than the end of a visit.  Prayer is not a technique for closing a visit.  There are obvious and better ways to close such as:

A danger of always closing with prayer is that the individual you visit might come to look on the prayer as a way to say good-bye rather than communication with God.  The person might feel disappointed when you mention prayer, because it signals that you will be leaving.  Remember that prayer can come appropriately at any time during a visit.

Not to Manipulate

There is always the danger that prayer might be used as a means of manipulating another into action that you want to see happen.

This prayer is merely an attempt to force the person's hand by arousing feelings of guilt.  A prayer of this sort will probably have negative results.  If the other person expresses a desire to pray for a change of heart on some matter, that's different.  Then, the prayer is coming from the expressed needs of the other person, not your own hidden needs.

How to Pray

Introducing Prayer

Initiating prayer is awkward for some people.  What do you say when you sense that prayer is appropriate?  You might want to avoid a simple declaration like, "Let us pray."  You might say something like:

These introductions leave the individual with a choice.  Prayer needs to be a willing response if it is to be true prayer.

When the Person Says No

Most of the time, when you ask someone if he or she would like to pray, your suggestion will be welcome.  Of course, the person can also say no.  On those occasions, he or she will usually give a reason.

One reason could be that the person has already prayed extensively about the matter.  If this is the case, remember that prayer should be based on the other person's needs, not yours.

Sometimes people say no to  prayer because they don't like to pray.  Although you have excellent reasons why prayer is beneficial, you can't force another to value prayer in the same way.  To force prayer on someone can achieve opposite results from those you intend.

People could also say no to prayer because they prefer to pray privately and are reluctant to ptay with someone else.  While you need to respect their feelings, you might want to explain gently the benefits and joys of praying together.  However, the final decision on whether or not to pray is theirs.

Whatever reason people have for saying no to prayer, you need not become defensive, nor think that you are being rejected.  Moreover, as your relationship develops there might be other occasions when the person will feel more open to prayer.  Be patient.

Addressing God

In prayer of any kind, you begin by addressing God.  But what kind of God are you inviting into the relationship?  Remember that God invites you to address him as your loving Father.  Remember - and let your prayers show it - that God is a loving God who involves himself in the lives of his children.  Jesus Christ, God's Son, became a human being and shared in all of human experience.  He truly understands all of what you talk about when you pray to him, and knew it beforehand.  Remember it is His will that is important, not His children's will.  The prayer is for us to use as a way of understanding our relationship to Him.

Honesty

Do not avoid the pain and apparent injustice of a situation.  Some people think they have to "Clean up" their thoughts when they talk to God.  To them feelings like anger, sadness, bitterness, or fear have no place in prayer.  Consequently, they end up being dishonest with God.  Martin Luther's first rule of prayer is "Don't lie to God."  Feel free to share all emotions and experiences with God.  God is loving and understanding and wants honesty from us, not prettied-up piety.

It is only by sharing painful moments honestly with God that people find themselves able to grow.

Choosing Meaningful Words

Be sensitive to the needs and expectations of the person you are with.  Choose language that the other person understands and with which he or she is comfortable.  While the age of the person can affect your choice  of words, you need not use language you are unfamiliar with, like slang with a teenager if you are an adult.  Rather, choose words that are natural for both of you.  You might want to avoid religious expressions such as "thee," and "thou" unless that is more comfortable for you and the other person.

It is possible to be excessively critical of language or style.  If you find yourself stumbling along and groping for words, keep going.

What to Pray About

Pray about what you and the person you are training wish to clarify in both of your minds, the relationship of the trainee to his God.  This prevents vague prayer and renders it more meaningful for the other person.  Both you and the other person will benefit if you are clear about the relationship you will bring to God before you pray.

Building a Prayer

Building a prayer simply means that you and the person discuss what needs to go in the prayer before you start to pray.  As you build a prayer, you discover the needs of the individual by asking open-ended questions, enabling the person to express his or her real concerns.

When Someone Asks  You to Pray

On occasion another person might request a prayer.  You might be tempted to immediately fold your hands and begin praying.  But remember that prayer should meet the other person's needs - no matter who suggest it.  A good response might be something like: "I would be glad to pray with you.  Before I do, I'd like you to share with me what you're thinking about and what  you would like to clarify before your God.  I think we could share them better with God that way."  This is not an evasion technique, but a way to provide quality training.

Using Prewritten Prayers

although most of the praying I have talked about so far is extemporaneous, you could also choose to use a prayer book in your training.  Here are some specific suggestions for the use of prayers from books or other resources:

Where to Pray

You can pray with a person anywhere, provided you adjust your style of prayer to the surroundings.  When a visit is in a private home, the setting is usually conducive to quiet moments of prayer.  But prayers can also be appropriate in public places like a hospital.  If you are with someone in a waiting room, however, you might want to postpone prayer or move to a place with fewer distractions.

Even in a patient's room, there is not always total privacy.  If another patient is in an adjoining bed, you might want to adjust your style by praying more softly with the person you are visiting.  Or, depending on the other person's religious orientation, you might want to include him or her in the prayer.  Be sensitive so as not to bully other people into being included when they do not want to be.  Remember also that the person you are visiting can be in such a state of crises, pain, or sickness that he or she really needs your undivided attention.  Don't dilute your training to someone who really needs your intensive training at that moment.

Prayer is our response to God's gracious invitation to share with Him.  It is based on a child's need to communicate and share with his Father his needs and concerns, trust and commitment, and shared love.  As you go about being a training Christian, both you and the person for whom you share in prayer will find strength and assurance, knowing what you share with God is left in the hands of God, who is a loving Father.

Suggested Prayers

Homework

1. Thin Prayers, Fat Prayers.  Share two worries and two joys that are going on with you right now.  let's take six to eight minutes for this,

2. Write a prayer for the class members.

3. What are your feelings about what we just did?

4. Remembered Blessings.  Share a time you can remember when you felt close to God.  If this experience included prayer, share how prayer enhanced the experience.  If it did not include prayer, share any possible ways in which the experience may have resembled prayer.

Closing

May our God of intimate love bless us with a constant awareness of his presence.  May God teach us to pray, both along and with others.  May he deepen our relationship with himself daily as we spend time sharing with him, loving him, and seeking his help and his will through prayer.  Amen.