Our (Asatru) Top Ten
Top ten things that can instantly identify a newbie Asatruer:
10. There isn't any lint in the beeswax lining their horn.
9. When enraged, they cast a 'spell' shouting "THORN!" "THORN!!"
8. They come to a blot wearing a horned helmet, and proceed to toast
marshmallows over the ritual fire using the horn-tips.
7. Spotting the rare femal Asatruer they swagger up and say, "Hey baby,
wanta see my sword?"
6. They bring their athame (pronounced A-frame) and say "can this be
at the Tyr's blot"? (pronounced as "tires blot")
5. They want to argue their new theory about Frigga being the "mother
gods and goddesses"
4. They think valkyries are nice and sweet, angelic types.
3. They raise a nidhing pole against their enemy...but put it in their
2. Nice cape...vinyl?
1. They write to the Asatru list wondering why "everyone just can't get
along like brothers and sisters"
Top ten things that can instantly identify the veteran Asatruer:
10. They're wearing (gasp!) regular clothes at a blot.
9. In talking about Jung's theories of archtypes, they actually know
8. They (or their girlfriend) have enough amber on them to sink a small
7. They've developed a Macintosh version of Tafl
6. They're no longer worried about going to Hel when they die.
5. Their phone bill is sky-high from calling someone who lives in
New Mexico, (or Texas)
4. On the Asatru list, they've gone from 'lurking' to 'posting volumes'
are now back to 'lurking'
3. They can beat you at glima....
2. Their kindred has more than two members.
1. They've been 'set wretched' at some point in the past.