Poetry
Mask Required
How many masks can I wear,
How many times can I hide,
Will you ever be aware,
Will you see what’s inside,
Hiding behind an emotionless smile,
So that you won’t see my pain,
It’s been going on for a while,
It’s been driving me insane,
I can go on for days on end,
About what I’ve been through,
Pain for me is like a trend,
I never know who to turn to,
In sight others I’m not myself,
I don’t understand why I’m this way,
Why must I be someone else,
Why do I wear a mask every single day,
One person looked into my eyes,
One person saw all the pain,
One person heard all my cries,
One person kept me sane,
Still I hide and change all the time,
Maybe one day the mask will fall,
I’m figuring out what’s in my mind,
Because I don’t know myself at all,
I’ve been living a lie since I was born,
I’ve craved acceptance to be a friend,
But my heart is broken and torn,
Because my life is only pretend,
The masks that I put on my face,
Did help me for a short distance,
But didn’t help for the entire race,
I feel I’ve ruined my own existence,
I don’t know how I will retire,
But I’ll never stop trying,
But right now a mask I require,
While slowly I’m dying.
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More about me and Stephanie
Fate plays a part
So here I am a kid on the block who just likes to race the other kids down the sidewalk and around the light pole and back to a designated front porch. Little did I know that one day all my running and racing on my old block would lead up to a cross country team in Clarksville, TN for Kenwood High School. I didn't think much of running when I was young. I always thought to myself, "how can people not be fast, all you have to do is 'spin' your legs faster if you want to go faster." It never occured to me that I was fast. Well we move to Tennessee and my eigth grade year my brothers physics teacher is the assistant coach. My mom begins to talk to him and eventually signs me up for the high school cross country team. After my first practice I wanted to quit but I didn't. So a couple years go by and my sophmore year I make all-conference, which meant I was one of the top 15 runners in middle Tennessee, and got an invitation to Foot Locker National Qualifiers. So I decided to go.
Stephanie was an ambitious girl who enjoyed running with her neighbor who was on the cross country team at NorthEast High School. Her neighbor eventually asked Stephanie if she would like to run with the team and Stephanie decided to give it a shot. She began training with the team everyday. They had a scrimmage one day and Stephanie ran her hardest and as a freshman she smoked the other girls. Since then she stayed on the team and her junior year she was invited to Foot Locker National Qualifiers. She couldn't go because she didn't have the money to pay for it but her coach generously paid for her to go.
My coach and her coach got together and had an idea. They decided that both of our teams would go together. So both of the teams met up at Rossview high school to board a 15 passenger van at 8 in the morning on the day of November 24th, 2001. Stephanie and I have never met before now and once we did we spent the whole two days of Footlocker right next to each other. After that things just fell together and now we are talking about engagement. So whatever anyone says about her and I, all I have to say is Fate Played A Part.
Poetry
Surrounded
It’s all around me, From heaven to hell,
But why can’t I see, Beyond my hardened shell,
Under my feet, And over my head,
Above my sheet, And under my bed,
To my left hand, And to my right,
But I don’t understand, Why can’t I see the light?
As far as my front side, Is to my back,
Your love abides, Like an endless track,
The question is here, Why can I not see,
Something so near, Right in front of me?
Left and right, Front to back,
Still the light, Is what I lack,
Why can I not see, When I am surrounded,
Your love covers me, With love I am clouded.
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Poetry
Close
Being close is what I fear over all,
The higher I get the more pain the fall,
My goals escape me in the blink of an eye,
I get so close every time I try,
I hate being close just to see trials,
Yet it happens; obstacles, denials,
They intrude into my hopeful being,
Tearing apart the beauty I’m seeing,
My life seems a map short one location,
Why do roads break toward my destination,
I tend to get closer to my only desire,
Only to be blocked by an impossible fire,
But this time close will not be my case,
I’ve decided to run the impossible race,
I’ve heard it said to follow your heart,
I’m just thankful that I know where to start.
Burdened
My heart covered with burden and the things that I read,
My mind troubled as the world plants bad seed,
The world vanished taken by those with nothing but greed,
Why does it seem like I can never succeed,
One thing will pass and my burden will fall,
But their will be more for my shoulders of burden to haul,
Short burdens are fine, but why so tall,
To all my pains I can't help but feel so small,
Why do I let other peoples pain rest on my stance,
Different peoples pain hurt me every chance,
Doesn’t anyone see that I don’t want to join the dance,
But they already know that I’ll help in advance,
Why does it bother me until I go insane,
I Wish I could help them get through the pain,
Some peoples hurt will never leave their brain,
All the while their hurt will sustain,
So until I find out how to help in the fight,
My knees will hit the floor every night,
I'll pray and I'll pray until they are alright,
Because I know that my invisible God is so close in sight.
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