Episodes are updated each Tuesday. Please stop by next week for another adventure.
Would you like to possess your own memento of the Grumbler Chronicle's testimony to the courageous, er, almost brave at times, battle against filth and the inevitable victory of Cleanliness? Are you bold enough to join a strange new world on the demented side of life?
Then you can be among the few, the proud and truly different by having your own copy of the the first 38 episodes of the Grumbler Chronicles that are now immortalized in PRINT! (Come on, go ahead, get a copy and hide it in a drawer, to be read only when your'e alone. Otis and Smog Boy will never tell.)
If you would like more information about the Grumbler as a book, please contact me by email at:
This week's episode: Never More
“This is the last time right?”
“I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you know Otis?”
“Just that I don’t know.”
“But you are suppose to know everything.”
“Since when?”
“Since always.”
“Well sorry it doesn’t work that way.”
“That ain’t a good thing.”
“Didn’t say it was.”
“Can’t you like fix it?”
“Fix it how?”
“I don’t know think of something.”
“Like what?”
“Well if I could answer that I wouldn’t need to say it.”
“So you just expect me to figure it out?”
“Yeah.”
“Sorry can’t do that.”
“What!”
“You heard me.”
“Now come on Otis call somebody on this.”
“Call who?”
“What do I have to think of everything?”
“I know, but have no idea who you want me to call.”
“But this is for STINK.”
“So?”
“What do you mean so?”
“Just that.”
“Now come on Otis there has to be somebody in charge of giving us this assignment.”
“Yeah, Dr. Hemoglobin.”
“Cool then call him.”
“At two in the morning.”
“Wouldn’t he be up?”
“No.”
“How come?”
“Smog Boy if we weren’t working would you be up?”
‘
“Maybe.”
“I don’t think you would.”
“I would if I had told some guys to go out to the cemetery.”
“Ah, but you see he knows we will do our jobs.”
“But he could at least be waiting by the phone in case we had a question.”
“Why?”
“Ain’t that what bosses are suppose to do?”
“Not all the time.”
“How come?”
“Because we are expected to know our jobs.”
“And that means he gets to sleep huh?”
“Yep.”
“There is something kind of unfair about that.”
“Well sorry but that is the way it is.”
“And there is no way to find out if this is our last time for this?”
“Nope.”
“You ain’t helping much.”
“Look old buddy I can ask him later.”
“That don’t help me now.”
“Waiting some kind of a problem?”
“You bet.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to know if we are allowed to leave before some ghost shows up.”
“Ghost?”
“Yeah this is a cemetery and they could be here at any time.”
“And when did you see one before?”
“I ain’t taking any chances.”
“I don’t think you need to worry about it.”
“But, but this is stupid.”
“Stupid?”
“Yeah, I mean they could be around anywhere.”
“But we haven’t seen any.”
“See that is the problem. They might be here any second and could eat our faces.”
“What?”
“Yeah Otis it happens.”
“Right that is a big problem.”
“See you admit it.”
“Now look old buddy ghost don’t eat faces.”
“How would you know?”
“Oh so like now you are an expert?”
“No, but I know somebody who is.”
“Really old buddy?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Okay who?”
“This friend.”
“What is his name?”
“Just a friend.”
“Smog Boy.”
“Okay, okay, he’s a really great friend.”
“And his name?”
“James.”
“Not the one over at the museum?”
“Yeah him.”
“And what would some janitor at the museum know about ghosts?”
“Everything.”
“And you have some reason to believe him?”
“You bet he’s got pictures.”
“You’ve seen them?”
“Uh-huh.”
“So what did they look like?”
“Sort of like mannequins only blurry.”
“And has it occurred to you they are mannequins?”
“No they are not either.”
“That is based on what?”
“He told me.”
“Right that really counts.”
“It sure does.”
“So he told you there were ghost here huh?”
“Yep.”
“And they eat faces?”
“Yep.”
“Did he tell you how to avoid that?”
“Kind of.”
“What does that mean?”
“Just that it gets kind of tricky.”
“Can you explain it?”
“It sort of depends on if you have food.”
“Food?”
“Yeah Otis like snacks.”
“Snacks huh?”
“You bet.”
“Any special kind?”
“Something with sugar.”
“And how does that help?”
“They can’t eat your face if you have a full tummy.”
“So what you are saying is if we had snacks then we are safe.”
“Er I guess so.”
“Well we do have a lunch.”
“Any snack in there?”
“Let me check. Well we got some fruit.”
“That ain’t no good snack.”
“No?”
“Nope, it needs to have sugar.”
“Fruit has sugar in it.”
“But it ain’t ghost proof.”
“Ah, then what will do?”
“Oh the best kind is jelly beans.”
“Now come on old buddy.”
“Really you can ask James.”
“Except for the fact he isn’t here.”
“You can just take my word for it.”
“Hmm that seems a bit hard to believe.”
“But it is true.”
“You know I just remembered that there is some jelly beans in the emergency rations.”
“Really?”
“Yep.”
“And this is an emergency too.”
“Sure it is,” I replied, having reached the point where it is easy to let my buddy have his jelly beans than argue about ghosts.
PHILO MILO BUTTERCREAM
penman_1@hotmail.com
(THAT'S HIS WRITER'S NAME.) Drop by and check it out if you dare!)
penman_1@hotmail.com
