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The Rules of Bobhood
As
worshippers of Bob, we must follow ten basic, simple rules.
1. Thou shalt spread the word of Bob.
2. Thou shalt not annoy people by handing out leaflets telling them to convert to the way of Bob.
3. Thou shalt not mix plaid and stripes.
4. Thou shalt not get caught.
5. Thou shalt give Zab lots of money.
6. Thou shalt not insult the name of Bob, unless it's in a really funny joke. That's okay.
7. Thou shalt be sarcastic at all possible and appropriate times.
8. Thou shalt look both ways before thee crosses the street.
9. Thou shalt not worship anything other than Bob, except maybe God, or some other deity of your choosing.
10. Thou WILT give Zab lots of money.
FAQ About Bob
So what do followers of Bob
do?
We mainly hang around, watch tv,
and build stupid websites to Bob. Sometimes we do some
thing important, but this is usually an accident, and has
only occured a few times.
What exactly is Bob?
Bob is a being of pure energy that created the universe
because Bob was thirsty and wanted a drink.
Why
would a being of pure energy want to drink?
Well, why not?
What
kind of idiot comes up with this stuff?
Me. <pulls out
shotgun, shoots the person asking.> Do not question Bob. Ever.
What
is so great about Bob?
Bob is a being of pure energy, so
he doesn't ask us to worship him or do any thing that would
inconvenience us. In fact, one might say that Bob is the God of 'studied laziness.'
What
exactly is studied laziness?
Studied laziness
is being lazy about things that aren't worth doing, such as
homework that isn't due for another week. Guys are great at
studied laziness.
Can
you tie Bob into communism?
.... .... .... .... I can't, but
I know some people that will certainly try.
What
the Hell is up with the Excelsior on your main page?
That is a phrase
all follwers of Bob must use when they have achieved VICTORY!!!!
Okay.
That is all I have for my Bob worship shrine...for now. Comments,
suggestions? Send them to me here. I want to
hear from you!
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