June 22, 2000
June 22, 2000
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Another good day in the life of Ryan, another day spent with the love of my life. Today my fiance said something interesting to me, she said "I don't know why people always say the want to change their past, because the things they have done, whether that being good or bad, has made that person what he or she is today." Well to tell you the truth it kind of upset me at first, but having thought about it some, I see a different point of view on the subject, and there still may be things I would have liked to change, the last incident I had, the whole 6 months in lock up, treatment, and recovery, I wouldn't trade it for anything at this point. I see the point she was making and it was the same way I have thought about things for as long as I can remember. I have always thought that everything happens for a reason. And I have never put that situation such as my past, into that way of thinking. I have just never thought of it. She put it in a different way and made me see the good side of it, instead of the bad. Another thing I mentioned to my fiance that I have noticed in the last couple of days, is that I see things in a different light these days, I see things I have never noticed before. I see the sunsets, the trees, the grass, the birds, everything around me is so beautiful. I have always seen these things, but not in the same way I do now. It is like there has been a whole new world opened up for me, and all I have to do is take it all in and embrace the moments I have sucj as these. By now I am almost sure everyone thinks I am a total nut case, but you know what I can say that I am happy today, and actually mean it. That is a good feeling to be totally and completely happy with myself and with the others around me. I love life, and I love this place we call earth, this really is a great place we live in, and I can't even imagine what it will be like after life, in heaven. I cannot even comprehend it, but I know that it must be absolutely positively wonderfull. I am going to leave you with that. Goodnight and God Bless!!!

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