I only see him in my dreams.
Stormy face,
eyes of blue.

He leans to one side
and runs his fingers through
his long, long hair.
All aglow.

`I'll see you again,' he says.
But spring never blooms
and time is my chain.
I listen but my thoughts are fractured.

For Andy

I would love to hold the sun
and feel the golden drops in my hands.
like orange gummy candy.
to climb a mountain and build a silver ladder.
from the rocks, I'd extend my arms to touch
your face of china
and catch gentle tears of blue.

take my being and visit us for awhile.
reach down from the olympic clouds
and calm the storm that pulses through this heart.
this music, this city, this planet.
vital burdens insist our minds need purging.

please.
tell us those stories of you and the sun.
tell us your life and the peace that you've won.
if only the aura could heal your wounds,
I'd rub it on your skin.
I'd give the light to you so it wouldn't fade.
and I know you'd share it with others
like the warmth you've shared with me.

When I speak my mind
Do you hear what I say
And I losing my mind
To feel this way
I feel like you know all about me
But how could that be
Somehow I feel I have a bond with you
But I never did and never will know you
You've reached me with the words you
left behind
They fill me with emotions
A wonderful kind
You say the words I wish were mine....

(08/24/94)

Untitled

If I had a million dollars sitting in my hand,
I would pay my way to snatch you back
from the "promised land".
If only I could bring you back then we could talk a while,
I'd sell my soul for just one chance to see you smile.
It may seem silly and perhaps it's just a phase,
But as for now I kill my time in a star-bound gaze.
I never knew you but I miss you and I'd like to think you see,
Just how much your memory fills the empty place in me.
(04/14/95)

Eternity made me believe
No one controls his destiny
Oh my God was I deceived
When u took his soul with thee.

Why forever couldn't he stay?
Living his life wasn't a shame.
He made me laugh, with him I played
But now I know this ain't no game...

Looking again through my window,
With rainy eyes, full of sorrow
Searching for him on that crowded moon
Full of our people we can't stand to lose.

Why, though we know, do we believe
A gift from you we might receive?
Why are our thoughts brought far away?
Why together couldn't we stay?

now this ain't what i bet for
and this ain't what i bought
i don't know where we went
and this ain't the end
it's just another road
until you join me in olympus

so i got all this room to sing
but no one left to call
and i got all these days to pass
until you join me in olympus

i never wanted to fly away
just touch the stars is all
and maybe i had one great fault
but i needed to get away
and sing somewhere else
until you join me in olympus

and my blood's been drained
and all my sweat has run
someday you'll see me again
and we'll sing a song or two
but please spread my love
until ya join me in olympus

now one day has ended
and another has begun
but there ain't enough room to fly
and my style is getting cramped
maybe this ain't no palace
i wanna return from olympus

Wood

mother above
take me far
i wish i could see
if he's there
love is the drug
i'll die from it
but i wish i...
but i wish i...

lady wipe the tears
been runnin' for six long years
he wore the crown of thorns
i wish i'd not been born

love today
take it away
gaze with me
the stars will sing
the voice of children
within the feeling
but i wish i...
but i wish i...

the children still sing of love
and i hope he's standin' above
but i still got the blues
maybe lady godiva will save me too

No Room

i'm gonna build you a river
and buy you a truck
wonder what you mean
x's on your forehead and glitter in your hair
i can't see what you're seein'

so come back again
and remember to send
a forward addres
come back again

i saw you in the dark
with your wings spread apart
now startin' to understand
with your shell in the ground
and your soul in the sky
i think you're gonna fly

and you say to live again
like you never were a friend
i'm missin' your eyes
i'd build you a sculpture
if it wasn't all wrong
sorry i never heard your last song

Seven Years,
Seven Years without you and I'm lost.
Your face was so beautiful when you smiled.
Your lyrics touched me.
Your voice, stung with cigarette smoke,
Harsh and coarse, yet so amazing,
So soothing to my mournful soul.

Do you watch me from olympus?
You were a prodigy
Do you know my every move?
You were a friend
Didn't you think about what you were doing?
You were everything to me
Do you miss your life?
You were my life
Did you mean to die?

Yes, it all comes down to you
Your words inspirational,
Confusion, intertwined with itself
your music, divine glory
it rings in my mind like it did yours.
(it's all good)
Your body had few flaws
(the track marks on your arms)
but that made you all the more perfect
your entire being enhanced with movement,
invisible wings
(now you have a halo to match)
Your ghost brightens my days and warms my nights,
it's a shame we never met before your
tragic end,
Because yes, it all comes down to you.

You know I always said
You were the man of golden words
And it always seemed to me
You had pride in your crown of thorns
You know my heartshine left
When I heard the news
I could no longer hear
Those Lady Godiva blues
I have a mindshaker meltdown
As I'm lying in these fields
You made me a stargazer
And slowly my wounds healed

You were my superhero
Captain High-top was your name
And my Capricorn sister
Speaks of you the same
Now a holy roller
Puts out his hand
Come bite the apple
Step into my land
Here you can see Mr. Danny Boy
So you can open the eyes
Of a half ass monkey boy

So when you're eye to eye with God
Please shake his hand for me
And realize all the things
Your words helped me see

So I took a trip
Figured I'd find Bone China
I can hear you whisper
This is Shangrila
You're my Stardog champion
Chloe dancer don't know what to say
In my gentle groove
Baby, thru fade away

You appear in my dreams,
Your long hair wet and in your face
You look at me with those eyes,
I begin to cry and ask you why?
But still you stand there,
Your beauty amazes me,
and I hear your song as you return to Olympus
Will you be back?
Of course, but only in my dreams.

Dreams, be there for me,
let me be what I dream to be.
Search for the unknown,
with a dream of my own.

I must make this dream die,
Andrew did and I ask him "Why?"
Life ain't what it's worth,
says a hero who is nothing,
but a replacement.

Dreams, of me and you,
dreams of a song for you,
and all the things
for me to do.
In this dream of mine,
Oh I'm so fine,
but later I realize
this dream must die.

Because as everything else
rotates outside my world,
reality takes over,
made me from a rock'n'roll star,
to a student in a country so far,
from Seattle,
in a country where true natives,
raise cattle.

I guess it's just destiny,
what happened to him,
a dream dying, fading away,
like a red star in the sky, lighting
the sky for one last time.

I'm sorry, Andrew took a choice,
he had his band, he had his voice,
but reality took over,
and now he's dead,
and "Love" died with him.

On the other hand,
it created a Temple,
a shelter for us pioneers
to express ourselves by hearing,
took me to worlds I've never seen.

A tale of two sides, as everything else,
put an end to a dream, like putting out
a cigarette, and gave birth to a desire
like lighting a fire in a cold, gloomy night.

To state the truth would be
to incline to a lie,
and for all of us this is a tale,
of a dream that has to die.

andy
your star shine on me
strong your words
for feelings to come
return to us
as a true melody inspiration
since you left us
the sky is gray
but don't you know
I always remember your
divine spirit.

Jackie Duque Estrada