Open Heart Surgery
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: Angel Baby
Topic: That Special Someone
Well its friday before christmas eve and alot has been running thru my head..about alot of feelings i thought i had given up on..Karma is a bitch...But i will say that the only thing that actually went thru my head and stayed there was the fact that i have a great guy in my life that i care about so much..he opened my heart when i had closed it up...he gave me hope that there is love once again out there for me...He is the one guy i have come to trust again and he stays by my side thru all of my BS that dont stop...He means so much to me and if i lost him i dont think i will ever love or trust again...

Life isnt always what it seems
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: Chris Brown-Run It
Topic: Life
ok so there is just something i want to say..and i knoe sayin it on this will be easy because no one will read it and if anyone does then they wont say anything to anyone about it..
THERES ALOT IN LIFE THAT EVERYONE CAN REGRET OR FORGET BUT THERES IS ALSO ALOT IN LIFE THAT CERTAIN PEOPLE CAN IGNORE AND FOREGO LIFE IS ABOUT HAVING THOSE YOU CARE ABOUT CLOSE TO YOU AND NEVER LETTING THEM GO ITS ABOUT CARING AND SHARING AND LIVIN LIFE TO THE FULLEST IF THERE IS SOMEONE SPECIAL IN YOUR LIFE DONT LET THEM GO CAUSE YOU MIGHT ONLY HAVE ONE CHANCE WITH THEM AND NEVER REALIZE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THEM UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE WHEN THEY ARE REALLY GONE! LIFE IS ABOUT FAMILY AND FRIENDS DREAMING AND LIVING EVERYTHING IN LIFE HAPPENS FOR A REASON AND EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY NOT UNDERSTAND WHY ONE DAY YOU WILL AND IT MAY JUST BE THE HAPPIEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE-EVER-IN MY LIFEI REGRET LIKE 3 THINGS-1:FALLING FOR A GUY I KNEW I COULD HAVE LOST IN A HEARTBEAT AND I DID-2:ALWAYS LETTING MYSELF GET HURT AT THE WEAKEST MOMENTS-AND 3:ALWAYS LISTENING TO WHAT OTHERS THOUGHT ABOUT ME INSTEAD OF REALLY CARING ABOUT WHAT I THOUGHT ABOUT MYSELF...LIFE IS SHORT LIVE IT LIKE ITS YOUR FIRST KISS!!

Fuck this shit
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Pink-Just like a Pill
Topic: this is crazy
There isn't anything in this world that will make me happier thento live in the world i can relate too..A place i can call home and a place that i can cry and be myself..But that world doesn't invlove me and my happiness and my tears of fears...I am only but a child and a lonely lil' peron that cant seem to live and survive in this world..

to you from me M.E.
Mood:  don't ask
Topic: I~Wish~
To you boy from me:
I knoe we been through it all but nothin will change what i feel for you.I cant seem to get oyu out of my head.You never leave my mind.I feel so bad that i got hurt by you.But i still feel for you...you are with me all the time..i want you to knoe that you always will be with me.i want you back but that wont happen..i knoe it and admit it..so i am sayin it..but even though i want you back i can put those feelings aside to talk toyou like a friend even though it hurts to hear about u and ur lady...so from me to you i say this so true..i like you for you..though i cant get you backand even though i tried...i cant change the way you feel aboutme..i'm sorry for that so for now all i can be is be your friend..(tear)

To jenny..
Mood:  special
Topic: Yoko
To jenny:
My sister at heart and forever remain that way..
always there for me through it all..
The best thing thats ever entered my life and i hope you never leave...
You were there for me when i had my heart ripped out..
You were there for me when everything fell apart...
Thank you god for Jenny..
Your the only person who understands me...
You'd go the distance for me and i for you...
You don't push me to open up...
Thank you for your support..and your love...
I thank you for everything..for surviving my drama and dealin with me..thank you!!
I hope you are there for me in the future cause i knoe i will be there for you...
I will look after you in life or death!!!

Damn My Life
Mood:  down
Now Playing: run it
Topic: I'm Alone in this world
ever felt like so many things in life go so far from wrong..like wrong doesnt even come close to describing it...well thats how i feel right now...i feel like just dying right here..i got called a name i didn't like at all...i never thought i would ever be called something so hurtful in my life..i never been hurt that way before..and its a bitch..a freshmen called me a "hateful bitch" just cause i rejeted him in a mean way and i apologized for it..WTF!!! he had no rite!! anyways..i feel like shit and i want to rearrange his face big time..no one can help me or have my back coz who will take my word over a "hurt" freshmen...i swear i just really want to die...Damn...

Posted by vamp2/hotmexicanvamp666 at 5:50 PM PST
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Fuck you bitches
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: oldies music_"Killing Me Softly"
Topic: Kiss What you Miss
they say they love you but do they really mean....they call themselves your friends but is it true...are they? a friend is someone who is always honest with you and would never talk about u when you in trouble or in need or in front of them.They arent called "friends" for the hell of it.You can say youre sorry all you want but it may not change things.I haven't been thru hell with those kinds of friends and i dont need those people in my life.I will drop 'em like mud and step on them.So fuck all you bitches who put me to live in a world of hell and as they say "WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND" so fuck you bitches and watch me do better without you in my life..i hold grudges like a mutha fucker holds down a fight.Fuck you bitches and watch your life crumble down...

The Guy
Mood:  crushed out
Now Playing: Oldies---
Topic: That Special Someone
To That Special Someone:
From me to you:
Each morning i think of you when i wake
Every night you're the last i think of b4 i sleep
I think of you when i am down and it brings me back up
I see you when i feel like hitting rock bottom but i don't
I hear your voice and i want to float up to the gods of light
I care about you more then you may know and i can't tell you
I want to be with you more then you know but you can't see it and you won't
I want you here with me but you won't talk to me and confide in me
I may not be perfect but who ever is
I may not be a godess but i can be real
I may not be ur dream girl but i can be someone u can trust and love
I know you are all those and more for me but i can't do shit
My faith is in gods hands and in your heart
If theres anything between us you already know it and so do I
So i ask of you as a friend and a person
Just please look inside yourself and realize i may be your girl..
'Cause deep down i know and so do you that you're the right guy!!!

I hate carin so much
Mood:  down
Now Playing: Oldies--
Topic: Its hurts to care 4 him!!
Hey, its saturday! Its supposed to be a day of fun and excitement! but its not...all i can do is think about the guy i lost and a freshie who is in love with me< who bought me a $400 10 karrot diamond bracelet and necklace!!> I live each day now thinkin about what i can do about all this and the guy i lost..and i really care about him..< you have no idea how much i care about him> i want to tell him but how do i do such a thing he is 2 yrs older than me and i never cared about someone as much as i care about him...damn i hate this...thinkin hurts too much and its painful to think about him cause i lost him and i don't knoe if he will ever give me another chance...

boys..bad mix
Mood:  happy
Topic: boys r a bad mix
Boys and you..wow wat a mix...
your so sexy and thats a fix...
you mess with them and flirt
when you get mad throw them in the dirt...
You want them serious
but its just a joke....
they fall for you...
and u just pop their balloon...
you're tough and hardcore..
they cant keep up with you...
thats their flaw....
you're not so pure but very true...
hooters and brains...
combined in one...too much to handle
damn what a bum...you are fun..
you are funny and weird...
wat a mix...boys cant get you...
cuz u want them violent and kinky...
damn thats a bitch...jinkies...

kreeped
Mood:  silly
Topic: i'm creeped
my heart beats too fast for me to breathe
my hands shake so badly when your gone
i feel so unsafe with you not with me
i dream of killin spree's
which really aint that bad
cause at some point you may be killing me
i feel the wind takin me away
i feel my pain killing me slowly
i want to hit you sometimes
but guess what you can blow me...
i like you really i do
but when u act the way you do
i just want to scream
and say "screw you"
so if you don't mind you damn jerk
Find a grl who will just blow you away
cuz this grl aint no where near
sleepin with u when u wanna pay....

untitled
Mood:  sad
Topic: untitled
Every mornig i wake thinking of you
Every night i fall asleep and dream of you
I think about you every hour on the hour
I think of you every damn day
I see your face at every corner
I hear your voice all the time
I smell you everywhere
I feel you in my arms
The fact that you arent here with me
Is the reason why i cant deal with shit
You were my hero and my savior
you are the most important person to me
I love you with all my heart
I wish to see you
Deep down i don't want to lose you
So please notice me and look into my eyes
Then you'll see and realize
I care about you and always will...

My sister and friend
Topic: My sister and friend
my sister at heart...
friends forever...
nothin will set us apart...
from sunset to sunrise...
i'm here for you...
my friend and my sister...
what more could i have...
If i am down...
you'll bring me back up...
If i am heart broken...
you'll kick some ass...
we are weird and fun...
my sister and best friend..
You're the only one...
I love you...
My sister and friend!!