The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept to the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads onto way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence;
Two roads diverged in a wood,
and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
-Robert Frost [1916]-
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THE TOP 10 WAYS of ATTRACTING NEW PEOPLE, PERSONALLY and PROFESSIONALLY
Whether you are attracting new clients for your business, have moved into a new community and want to make friends, have started a new job, or are open to romance, here are some ways to attract new people:
1. Smile. A warm genuine smile can cross or mend barriers faster than anything else. If you think of people you hold dear in your thoughts, most of us remember their smile and the way we FEEL around them. It is true, people FEEL BETTER and are more comfortable around people who smile.
2. Make Eye Contact. This is a sign of confidence and much information can be conveyed through eye contact. Test this by looking in the mirror and running through some facial expressions. Also, if you're not holding a conversation with the other person it is best to break off eye contact after 2-3 seconds so you don't appear to be staring. Return as often as you like, but don't stare! When you do make eye contact with someone, notice the color of their eyes. Really look at them. Eyes are incredibly revealing if you take the time to
look
3a) Enthusiastically say "hi", ask them how they are, or how their day is and then LISTEN TO THEIR RESPONSE! This will blow most people away. We are so used to saying
"howzitgoing" and then moving on quickly without much concern for other's response. LISTEN!
3b) Enthusiastically respond to other's salutations!
When someone asks you "howzitgoin" respond with Zig Ziglar's favorite "FANTASTIC, but getting better!" Or perhaps Tommy Hopkin's favorite, "Unbelievable!" Do this while smiling and making eye contact and you'll be amazed at the results.
4. A good handshake. A firm handshake screams silent volumes of your self confidence. That first physical contact can announce to the world "I'm a timid whimp with absolutely zero self esteem.", "I am so uncertain of my personal self worth that I must crush your fingers to feign personal strength." or "I am a confident, self motivated achiever and am successful in whatever I choose to involve myself in." Nothing is more annoying than a "dead fish" or fingertip handshake. Nothing except maybe a bone crushing "I'm so powerful and macho" handshake. Resist the urge to place your other hand on their arm, shoulder, hand even worse, the exuberant pat on their back. This applies for men and women alike! Remember to apply number 1-4 and you'll be set!
5. Go where the people you want to attract will be. If you want to meet other professionals, join professional organizations. If you want to meet other skiers, go to the local ski club meeting. If you want to meet people with similar morals, beliefs, and values, try a church, synagogue, temple, etc. It is hard to attract new people when you are sitting home alone watching TV.
6. Dress appropriately. If you want to attract clients, dress like people do in their business and culture. Using the example again of meeting people with similar beliefs, morals, and values: if you want to meet conservative people, do not wear something flashy or flamboyant. Obviously, clothes that are clean, pressed, that fit and are not outdated announce to the world that you care about yourself and respect yourself enough to put that extra effort to show personal pride.
7. Be honest, positive, and dedicated.
Honesty: The number one reason to be honest in all your dealings is because relationships are founded on trust. The single most important possession we have is our personal character. It is how we act when no one is looking or when we believe no one else has access to the same information we have. Being dishonest may give us short-lived personal gain or satisfaction, but the PERSONAL COST to you for being dishonest is immeasurable.
Positive: It is true that your attitude determines your altitude! Denis Waitley once said, "mental obsessions have physical manifestations." If you truly believe that you are a winner, than a winner you will be! From Og Mandino's scrolls to Shad Helstetter's research on "Self Talk" we know that with the proper attitude we can become whatever we desire. People LOVE to be around winners!
Dedication: If any of us desire to accomplish anything in our lifetime then we must be focused and truly committed to the goals we set for ourselves. Too often we change directions at the first sign of adversity or resign ourselves to accepting less than we desire because of some obstacle in our path. Overcoming adversity and obstacles are part of the fun in achieving greatness in our life! If it were easy EVERYONE would be billionaires, successful authors, recording artists, movie stars and business moguls. If you show the willingness to commit to your goal or cause, you will draw respect and admiration from
others.
8. Listen for Understanding The 5th habit as defined by Steven Covey in "The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People" is
"Seek first to understand, then to be understood."
How many times during a conversation are you formulating your response while the other person is talking? Have you ever had someone finish your sentence for you? How does that make you feel? When was the last time someone was introduced to you and 2 seconds later you couldn't remember their name?
Things move so quickly in our society and we are so programmed for rapid response communications that it is actually painful for some people to listen to complete sentences during conversations.
Slow down and listen. Listen to What they are saying and HOW they are saying it. Allow them to finish their own sentences. Then rephrase what they've said by saying something like, "So what you're saying is...." followed by "is that correct.?"
Once you have a full and complete understanding of their belief or position, then you can proceed with your
input.
9. Be happy, content with yourself and your life. How often have you been bored to tears by a casual acquaintance talking about how horrible things are with their job, spouse, car, life, finances, etc... Constant complainers are only happy when they find someone to commiserate with.
If you are not happy with any aspect of your life either change it or change your attitude about it! If you are not where you want to be socially, educationally, financially etc... DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! If you have not read Victor Frankle's book,
"Man's Search for Meaning," get it and read it before the sun sets even one more time.
10. Be the kind of person you want to attract. If you want to attract someone who is in shape and has a healthy lifestyle, be in shape and have a healthy lifestyle. If you want to attract clients you can count on and pay on time, be accountable and pay on time. If you want to attract good communicators who treat you well, make sure your communication skills are polished, and pay attention to how you treat others.
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Difficult Decisions
How many times during our lives do we find ourselves at a crossroad faced with a difficult decision of which way to proceed.
If we choose this we cannot have that. If we go here we cannot go there. If I become that then I cannot remain this, etc...
In fact, we make hundreds of these types of decisions each and every day. However, we allow even more to be made for us! Human beings tend to go with the flow and, like water, follow the course of least resistance.
For any of us to achieve the things we desire for ourselves we must make conscious daily decisions and take ProActive Action to control the events of our lives. It has been said that the best way to foretell the future is to design it ourselves.
The ProActive L.I.F.E. Principle
In order to make decisions which will net us the end result we desire there are four components and a specific process we must follow.
1. Liberate yourself of self imposed limitations.
2. Identify specific components of desired goal.
3. Follow concise action plan.
4. Embrace challenges as opportunities to help you grow.
If we are committed to the end result and have a map to follow such as the ProActive
L.I.F.E. Principle, we can achieve whatever we design for ourselves in our lives. When we are presented with a difficult choice, we merely need to compare the options with our map
and select the option which is along the path WE have designed for ourselves.
If we find ourselves uncomfortable with our current, career, relationship, education, geographic, financial or other situation it is important to remember that WE HAVE A CHOICE!
We can take ProActive Action and change our circumstance.
Change, however, is difficult for most of us. Even if we are uncomfortable or unhappy with our current situation, most of us prefer to wallow in our misery hoping that "someday" things will change. If we ever expect our "someday" to arrive, we have to make it happen for ourselves.
Life is too short to wait for our spouse, partner, boss, children, co-worker, neighbor or pet hamster to change. If we want something different WE have to be the one to make the changes. Once we realize this hard fact of life, making a conscious decision to make a ProActive change in our lives is courageous and is to be applauded.
Peter Drucker concurred when he said, "Whenever you see a successful business (or person), someone once made a courageous decision." Remember the saying, "If it is to be it is up to me."
The next time you find yourself at a crossroad, smile, take a deep breath and recite:
"...Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
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BOOK REVIEW
Tuesdays with Morrie
An Old Man, a Young Man and Life's Greatest Lesson
This is a true story about the love between a mentor and his pupil. It reminds us of the affection and gratitude that many of us feel for the mentors of our past.
It also plays out a fantasy many of us have entertained: what would it be like to look those people up again, tell them how much they meant to us, maybe even resume the mentorship? Plus, we meet Morrie Schwartz--a one of a kind professor, whom the author describes as looking like a cross between a biblical prophet and Christmas elf. And finally we are privy to intimate moments of Morrie's final days as he lies dying from a terminal illness. Even on his deathbed, this twinkling-eyed mensch manages to teach us all about living robustly and fully. Kudos to author and acclaimed sports columnist Mitch Albom for telling this universally touching story with such grace and humility.
This wonderful book reminds us that it is possible to make a difference and that being a quality role model and mentor can have a resounding positive effect on those around us. It also reminds us that if we have someone in our lives who cares enough to act as mentor to us, it would serve us well to express our gratitude often and
early.Investment: $ 21.00 retail or $10.50 online from Amazon.com.
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A STORY
Maybe so -Maybe Not
There once was a wise man that acted as counsel for a village. One day a farmer came to the wise man quite upset because his Ox had died and now he was concerned that he would not be able to plow his fields.
The farmer explained his situation to and then asked, "Wise man, what should I do?"
The wise man sat for a moment rhythmically stroking his beard as if to contemplate the farmer's dilemma.
The farmer grew impatient at the wise man's silence and added, "Certainly losing my Ox is the worst thing that could have happened."
The wise man looked into the farmer's pleading eyes and answered, "maybe so - maybe not" then slowly turned his gaze to the horizon clearly ending the conversation.
The farmer made the three-day return journey to the village aghast and told everyone he met that he had lost faith in the wise man because of his inability to give an answer acceptable to him.
The next day the farmer saw a wild horse near his property and had the idea to capture it because he had no Ox. It was a good strong horse, and plowing his fields had never been easier. He was so pleased with his improved circumstance that he felt he needed to apologize to the wise man and so he made the journey to the wise man's home.
"Wise man," he said, "I must apologize for doubting you." He continued,
"how did you know that my situation would improve because of the loss of my Ox?"
The wise man sat for a moment rhythmically stroking his beard as if to contemplate the farmer's question.
The farmer grew impatient at the wise man's silence and added, "Certainly finding the horse is the best thing that could have happened."
The wise man looked into the farmer's pleading eyes and answered, "maybe so - maybe not" then slowly turned his gaze to the horizon clearly ending the conversation.
This time the farmer was furious at the wise man's unwillingness to proffer a definitive response and returned to the village vociferously disgruntled. He made certain that the entire village heard of the wise man's inadequate counsel.
Upon the harvest moon the farmer's son fell from the horse, broke his leg and the horse ran away. The farmer was beside himself in grief and truly understood now that finding the horse was not a good thing. Not only did he not have a beast of burden to harvest the crops, but his son was now physically incapable of assisting as well.
The farmer once again made the three-day journey to visit the wise man for advice and to offer yet another apology. Upon his arrival, the farmer apologized to the wise man for doubting him and explained what had transpired since his last visit. He repeated his question from his earlier trips,
"how did you know that my life would be ruined, my son injured and my crops laid to waste in the fields when I was last here?"
The wise man sat for a moment rhythmically stroking his beard as if to contemplate the farmer's question.
The farmer grew impatient at the wise man's silence and added, "Certainly finding the horse was the absolute worst possible thing that could have happened."
The wise man looked into the farmer's pleading eyes and answered, "maybe so - maybe not" then slowly turned his gaze to the horizon clearly ending the conversation.
The farmer stormed from the wise man's home and returned to the village in an angry fury determined to dispel the myth of the existence of any wise person anywhere!
As soon as he entered the village he discovered that the emperor had sent his warriors into the villages to conscript all able-bodied men and boys for a nearby battle in which all were killed.
The farmer and his son were the only two men from the village left alive.
The farmer swiftly made his way to his home and embraced his son vowing to remember the lesson learned.
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QUIPS & QUOTES
We promise according to our hopes and perform according to our fears
- La Rochefourauld
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.
- General George S. Patton
One man with courage makes a majority
- Andrew Jackson
I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.
- Harry S. Truman
It is neither wealth nor splendor; but tranquility and occupation which give happiness.
- Thomas Jefferson
Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success.
- Napoleon Hill
