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2006 TSI Fattest Butt Results

Fattest Butt 2006 Runs Off Course: Gloria Repeats, da Mudd-Stomper lays back for Crazy Horse; and Koch & Bursler run rampant! It was a Very Good Day in the Slug-World. To view all race photos Click Here!

Fat Butt starters The Slugs have been sneaking into locked parks for years. So it was only fitting that we kicked off 2006 in similar fashion. While it wasn't quite as subversive as the still-famous 1994 affair in Southeastern Virginia with the coconut-covered marshmallows and peanut oil, it still made for a challenging morning. But being Slugs, and Potential Slugs the starters "got it done." Ranger Rick obviously had discovered the Slugs were coming and did his best to keep us out. However, we are Professionals, and quickly found an alternative entry, and less than a half-hour later were out on the trails of Central Delaware.

It's customary for the Slugs to Pack-Run the first loop, and today was no exception. Returning women's champ Gloria Callahan led the real runner's around the course; and the slugs trailed to the back with me. Both ways we made it around---without losing anyone; and the race was on! The lead pack of Mark Crisman, Rick Palmer, Rainer Koch, and Dave Bursler stayed close together through 22 miles, before Koch and Bursler slowly pulled away. Back at the Aid Station I received numerous comments on how smooth and comfortable the two leaders looked out there. Both are highly accomplished ultra-runners and it was a treat for the Slugs to share a day with them. Trailing the leaders closely, Palmer, affectionately known as "The Great Hairy Slug" and "Chief Army Slug" Crisman both put in an outstanding effort finishing in 3rd & 4th respectfully. Back just a bit more, in fact WAY BACK, is where the "Fast" Slugs generally reside. Leading this group was Gerard Prilutski, Bill "Wide-bottom" Schwartz, and Phillip Hesser. Each were making guest appearances at their first Slug event, and proved to be highly worthy of the Slug Kingdom. They ran very steady and even-paced laps and held their positions.

Next in and sharing 8th place with our Ladie's Champ was Kevin Callahan. Kevin is the reason TSI still exists. He had ONE marathon finish to his credit, but was determined to join the ultra-world and blessed Team Slug with his first attempt. Fortunately, he's married to Gloria, who happens to have won two consecutive Slug events, and was more than willing to pace her Ultra-vurgy hubby on this day. They started out with a steady slu-og, and maintained it for several laps, before breaking into the genuine Slog. Kevin was a trooper, and Gloria stayed right by his side. Seeing him cross the field to the finish was the highlight of my day. He was quickly awarded the Slug Shirt, and invited to join the Slugs. Gloria, strong and steady, as ever rumbled through easily and finished looking like she needed to run some more. I've seen that look before.

At the back; were the real slugs; the folks who are my personal heroes. Mark "Slugovitch" Vukovich along with the man himself; Doug "Da' Mudd-Stomper" Bartocci. While there was no mudd to stomp on today, the Stomper was determined to pick up the Crazy Horse Award. He had a formidable foe in Slugovitch who drove all through the night from Va Beach to earn the Slug Shirt. All day long Mr. V would come hobbling out of the woods, and slowly, but surely trailing behind would slog the Stomper. This went on for hours, and at 28 miles the Slugovitch dropped it one more gear. He was now barely moving, just using gravity and his substantial weight to propel himself forward. The Stomper pulled up onto his rear, but refused to pass. In fact, he took a dive, and refused to move, until the Slugovitch could regain his composure and continue on. This was a classic confrontation of two Fine Slugs, and it was a great pleasure to watch them battle it out. In the end, The Mudd-Stomper would not be denied and milked over eight hours out of the course, earning the highly coveted Crazy Horse Award; and immediately was placed on the TSI Executive Board --in charge of all NY Sluggers-- till the end of time. Congrats Mudd-Stomper; and many thanks to all the runners. What a fantastic way to start the new year!

Happy Trails & Keep Runnin'
The Hitman

Register Now for Next Delaware TSI Event!!!Russell B. Cheney 50K

Final Results-----Central Delaware-----Jan 1, 2006
1. Rainer Koch, Germany 4:48
1. David Bursler, DE 4:48
3. Rick Palmer, PA 4:55
4. Mark Crisman, MD 5:03
5. Gerard Prilutski, PA 5:40
6. Bill Schwartz, CT 6:21
7. Phillip Hesser, MD 7:02
8. Gloria Callahan, VA 7:15
8. Kevin Callahan, VA 7:15
10. Mark Vukovich, VA 7:56
11. Doug Bartocci, NY 8:13
(11 Starters, 11 Finishers)