Dearest Friends and Family,

Happy New Year! Instead of our usual update, we thought that we would give you Karston’s first surgery story. It sums up our holiday season and the beginning of 2004 as it has been our focal point for the past month. We have included both the short and sweet version and the very long, detailed version, depending on your mood and time. It is also on our website, with a picture of Karston just ten days post-surgery. Feel free to check it out at www.yongfamily.com.

The short version: Karston’s surgery went exceptionally well – our plastic surgeon is very pleased with the outcome, Karston bounced back to his old self rather quickly, and we have learned a lot from this experience. Praise God for showing us the reality of His love and comfort through this trial.

The long version – details, emotions and all: In the few days leading up to Karston’s first surgery, we spent as much time as possible just enjoying Karston. We marvel at how much he grows and develops daily. At 3 ½ months old, he was smiling, cooing or “talking,” and just charming us with the way he grasped at his toys, and laughed when we made funny faces. God gave Karston an amazing and wonderful temperament – completely laid back, always content (with a clean diaper and full tummy, of course), and just as happy playing by himself as interacting with people. Life was very predictable and routine. Karston had been sleeping from 12am to 8am since he was 2 months old, and he ate pretty much every 3 hours during the day like clockwork. We are very blessed.

The night before surgery, we spent a lot of time just gazing at the beautiful face Karston was born with. We didn’t know how much surgery would change him, and I went through times of just not wanting to have to “change” him at all, but I knew that it had to be done. The last time we were allowed to give him food was at 3am, and it was such a sweet feeding. He pretty much slept through his whole bottle since he wasn’t used to eating in the middle of the night. In just a few hours, everything was going to be “different” and I wanted to cherish every moment of it. We went to the hospital at 6:15am for our pre-op assessment and Karston didn’t fuss at all. He weighed in at 13 lbs., 8 oz., and was healthy and ready for surgery. He was wide-eyed, although rather sleepy, and was just a great little patient for the nurses and doctors. We were greeted by our plastic surgeon (Dr. Hobar), the resident (Dr. LeBlanc), our nurse, the ENT resident who was responsible for the ear tubes, the anesthesiologist, and one other nurse who would update us during the surgery. It was all a whirlwind and they didn’t even bother changing him into a hospital gown since he was peacefully asleep by the time 7:30am came around. As the nurse took him into her arms to carry him into the operating room, we gave Karston a kiss and told him we love him. My tears flowed freely as he was taken away, not because I was worried about the surgery, but just because it would be the last time I would see him with his cleft lip and his “first” beautiful face.

I cried in Ivan’s arms for a moment before we moved up to the waiting room. It was a relatively stress-free time as we waited for the nurse to call us after the surgery had begun. After that, I had time to pump milk and we also ate breakfast. Before we knew it, two hours had passed and Dr. Hobar came out to visit with us. The surgery went very well and he was very pleased with the results. He told us that he had repaired Karston’s lip, nose, and clipped his frenulum, and tubes were placed in his ears. We were originally told that he would also repair his soft palate, but that was a misunderstanding. The soft palate would be repaired in August along with his hard palate. Looking back, this was the easiest time of the whole ordeal because we had great confidence in our medical team and trusted that the Lord was watching over Karston. We were glad that Dr. Hobar was so positive about the surgery, and we were eager to see our son. It took another 40 minutes before we were allowed to see Karston in the recovery room, and at that time, we were only allowed to go in one at a time. So Ivan went in first, since he could handle things better emotionally, and came out to tell me what to expect. I was so eager to see Karston that I hardly let him tell me anything before I dashed into the room. Karston was lying peacefully in the cold, metal crib, hooked up to various monitors and an IV, and with elbow restraints on his arms to prevent him from touching his mouth and disturbing the sutures. I was told that he would look a lot different from what I would expect, but I still was not prepared for it. He had some blood dripping from the repair area and his whole face was pretty swollen. Instead of his cleft lip, he had a row of stitches running down from his nose to his lip. And in his nostril was what appeared to be a huge donut-shaped stint, to help prop the nostril and hold its shape. He looked so different, and although he was medicated and not crying, I could tell that he was not comfortable. At that moment, I couldn’t help but want my old Karston back.

We were quickly moved up to our private room on the 9th floor – it was a beautiful and spacious room with a wonderful nurse staff. It was here that we heard Karston scream for the first time, his voice hoarse and sad. I spent a lot of that first day in tears, and I couldn’t help but wonder over and over again, “What did I do to my beautiful baby boy?” And of course I knew that these first days were going to be the worst, and that Karston wasn’t going to remember any of it, and that it was all for his good, but still, I couldn’t help it. My emotions were there, and I wanted to take away his pain. I never knew the anguish of seeing your own flesh and blood suffering and helpless, and it was nearly unbearable. When your own son looks into your eyes, confused and in pain, pleading with his eyes, “Take away this pain,” you can’t help but wish that it had never happened. And in our case, we chose to do it, and that made it even more difficult. So the first day was painful and tiring as we learned how to care for his sutures and feed him through a syringe. The feeding was the worst part as he was not allowed to suck and was probably sore from having the breathing tube in his throat and from having work done on his lip and gumline. He cried throughout the whole feeding, and in the beginning he was only eating less than an ounce at a time. At the third feeding, Karston took 2 ounces, and by the time we left the hospital the next morning, he was eating 4 ounces at a time. Slowly, Karston began to be interested in his toys again, and it was comforting to see him playing with his favorite turtle toy in the hospital. He wasn’t yet smiling or cooing, but it was a small sign that he was doing okay.

We were told that the second day would be the worst, and it did seem that way. The swelling in his face made his lip look uneven and the nose stint pushed his nose towards the right, further distorting his face. The doctor and nurses continued to assure us that the suture line looked wonderful and that everything was in the right place. We would be able to see the full results when we went to the craniofacial center 7 days after his surgery to get the sutures and nose stint removed. Since he was eating enough to be taken off of the IV, we were able to go home by noon the day after surgery. The recovery period was time consuming as the feedings took a little bit longer and there were multiple things to administer around the clock – pain medication every four hours, antibiotics every eight hours, ear drops twice a day and meticulously cleaning the sutures two or three times a day. Each feeding got better and better as his appetite came back and he got used to eating from the syringe. On Christmas day (the third day), he was probably 75% back to normal as he began to smile more, coo and play. By the 4th day, he was able to establish a steady rhythm of swallowing and our one hour feeding sessions went back to the normal 30 minutes. Besides Karston’s longer naps and the frequent medications and suture care, life was almost back to normal.

It’s quite amazing how babies can adapt so quickly and bounce back from adversity. Karston was still frustrated by not being able to suck or get his fingers in his mouth, and we had to watch him closely as he found new maneuvers to touch his face with his elbow restraints on. But the pain and suffering of his first surgery is quickly becoming just a fuzzy memory. He completely slept through the suture and nose stint removal, and he had only lost 1.5 oz. since the morning of surgery. His scar is quite minimal, and we were very happy to see the results. We understand that the scar line will pull up and redden over the next few months before flattening and fading by the end of the year. At 10 days post surgery, Karston got his bottle back and the elbow restraints came off. His hands went straight to his face and he began to rub his eyes vigorously. After a few hours, his mouth rediscovered his thumb and fingers, and he happily sucked away. Now that he doesn’t have the retainer to aid in creating a suction while eating, feedings have become more tiresome for him. But we think he will soon develop his sucking muscles and be back to eating normally again in no time.

We still have a lot of post-surgery care to do in the coming months to minimize the scar, but the worst is definitely behind us, until his palate repair surgery in August 2004, anyway. I hear that the surgery experiences never really get better, but at least we do know what to expect. We thank God that everything went so well, and that He made His presence and faithfulness so clear to us in such an overwhelming time. I do sometimes miss Karston’s cleft; after all, it was the way that God had created him and it was beautiful. But ultimately, it is not what we look like on the outside that makes us who we are, and Karston’s beauty continues to shine through. As the recovery period quickly draws to a close, we are grateful to have our “old” son back, but this time, with a “new” smile.

Love in Christ,
Ivan and May

February-March 2004
Update

Dearest Friends and Family,

What an exciting last few months we have had in the Yong household. We can’t even describe in words how blessed we are through Karston. The Lord has been so gracious. Karston is almost 7 months old and is a healthy, growing boy. He is now eating solids like a pro (so far, sweet potatoes and avocado are his favorites) and can sit up on his own while playing with blocks or other handy items that he can manage to get into his mouth! Recently, he has mastered the art of high-pitched squealing and screaming, mostly while he’s playing by himself. He sure likes to exercise those vocal chords, but we’re grateful that he does this only when he’s in a happy mood. We rarely hear an upset cry from him, unless it’s for a good reason. We’re hoping that this means he'll be a good-natured young boy. You can visit our website for current pictures of our little sweetheart.

Karston is now completely recovered from his first surgery (last December), which repaired his lip. For a while we had to tape a silicon strip over his scar, but now the only things we have to do is make sure to put sunscreen on his lip whenever we go out and massage the scar daily. What a blessing not to have to deal with mouthpieces or tape anymore! His next surgery is scheduled for August 19th to close up the gap in his palate. Since the recovery will be more painful for him (and us), please pray for us all.

Ivan's studies are going well. He recently has been spending time with Dr. Dan Wallace, who is well-known for his work in New Testament Greek grammar and who is also interested in textual criticism, a field which Ivan is very excited about. During the month of May, they will be traveling to Europe together (with one other PhD student) to examine and photograph ancient New Testament manuscripts, some of which may have never been studied before. This trip represents a significant opportunity in textual criticism and they hope that their study will be helpful in the determination of the New Testament in its original, inspired wording. Please pray for their productivity and safety (they will be near the Middle East). Please also pray for May and Karston as they will miss Ivan dearly while he’s away. We view this trip with mixed emotions of excitement for the work and sadness over the separation.

We are also planning to move this summer, since we hope to expand our family someday and we would like to have a little bit more space – it's getting cramped in here! We feel so blessed that the cost of living in Texas is so low – by moving to a city that is a little further out, we can pay the same amount each month for a lot more space. We hope to move to Frisco, Texas by the end of July so that we have time to unpack and settle in before Karston’s surgery. Ivan’s drive will be long, but with the right scheduling, he will only have to commute to school a few times per week.

We have much to anticipate over the next few months and we would appreciate your prayers for safety and health as we seek to glorify God in the opportunities He has given to us. Thank you for continuing to be involved in our lives, whether near or far away. We are grateful for the partnership we share in serving our Lord.

Love in Christ,
Ivan and May

April-May 2004
Update

Dearest Friends and Family,

We hope that this letter finds you well and rejoicing in the Lord. We enjoyed a wonderful and busy April here in Dallas. Karston had the privilege of seeing both sets of grandparents. First we had a visit from May’s parents in early April. They had not seen Karston since he was six weeks old, so they were certainly amazed at how big he’s grown. They enjoyed spoiling him by holding him and playing with him all day long and taking him shopping. Karston had a blast! Then towards the end of the month, Ivan’s parents visited and once again Karston enjoyed being the center of attention. They had not seen Karston since his recovery period at the beginning of the year, so they too enjoyed seeing how much he has changed and developed. We were blessed to have our families in town; we certainly miss them a lot.

Thanks to our generous friend, Amy, who gave us two free nights at a beautiful hotel in San Antonio, Texas, we were able to take our first family roadtrip to a posh resort on the riverwalk. It was a much-needed relaxing weekend getaway, free from the distractions of daily life. We took Karston to the zoo and had fun strolling along the river and enjoying good Tex-Mex cuisine. Karston did well on the 4 hour car ride – he slept most of the way there and back.

The rest of the month has been spent preparing for Ivan’s trip to Turkey. Along with Dr. Wallace and a PhD student, Ivan will be traveling from May 4-31. This will certainly be a tiring trip as they will be working 40 hours a week, photographing and examining ancient New Testament manuscripts. They have raised enough funds so that Ivan will be able to be paid for his work there – a blessing above and beyond just the mere privilege of handling these biblical treasures and learning from his professor, a renowned scholar. Please pray for safety and good health during their travels and the duration of their stay.

May has endured a long and painful trial with a toothache that has finally resulted in a root canal. As her tooth heals in the next few weeks, we are praying that the problem has been completely fixed and that no further complications will arise, especially while Ivan is away. So far, recovery is going well and she is grateful to be able to carry on her normal activities again. Working from home continues to work out well, although it will be a bit more difficult while Ivan is overseas.

Karston continues to be a joy. He is easily amused, although weary of most strangers. He is no longer content to just lie on the floor all day – he’s always wanting to sit up and play. Karston enjoys books – Chicka Chicka Boom Boom is the current favorite. And he loves to put anything he can grab straight into his mouth. The squealing/screaming has subsided and he is now babbling “mamamama” all of the time. Because of his cleft palate, some sounds will be more difficult for him to make. We’ll see how his language skills develop over the next few months.

Finally, we would appreciate your prayers for May’s safety and health as she takes care of Karston and keeps the household running on the home front. We feel very blessed to have some people visiting May and Karston while Ivan is away. This will help the time pass more quickly, and May is looking forward to spending time with her mom and some long-time friends. It will be a challenge to spend a month apart from each another, but we know that the Lord will give us strength and comfort.

Love in Christ,
Ivan and May

June-July 2004
Update

Dearest Friends and Family,

Greetings from the HOT state of Texas! You know that you have been in Texas too long when it’s 95 degrees and you can still wear jeans, or when you look at the weather forecast and anything under 105 degrees is not a big deal. We have been indoors most of the time anyway since we are busy packing for our move at the end of the week. It’s amazing how much stuff one baby can accumulate. We have an apartment full of boxes and more boxes! But we are excited to be moving into more space. We have heard about the skyrocketing home prices in southern California and we feel very blessed to be living in the affordable state of Texas! Please pray that we will have a safe and uneventful move, and that Karston will have a smooth transition to his new surroundings.

Karston has been developing by leaps and bounds these past couple of months. He is no longer content to just sit and play with toys – he’s crawling all over the place. We call him our little explorer! He has also been standing (with our arms of support very close by). It’s amazing that our little guy was only recently immobile. Karston continues to sleep well (what a blessing!) and he is gradually eating more textured foods. He has his two bottom teeth and one top tooth on the way. He now protests for about five seconds if we take a toy away, but then quickly finds something else to do. It’s amazing to see his personality and expressions unfold. Karston continues to enjoy going out and riding in the car. He loves to observe the world around him – he’s a curious boy! Since he’s also a very good boy, mom and dad are still able to bring him along on our weekly date nights. Karston probably enjoys them as much as we do.

Ivan’s trip to Europe and the Middle East with Dr. Dan Wallace went very well. They photographed 29 ancient Greek New Testament manuscripts, taking more than 14,000 digital images. It was breathtaking for him to handle these delicate treasures, some of which were over 1,000 years old! Ivan worked very hard, as they worked for 15-20 hours per day, but it was even more difficult for him to be separated from May and Karston for 4 straight weeks. Despite the difficulties, we believe that his work was and will be worth the effort because it will help to confirm the overall integrity of the New Testament. But thank God for the internet and cheap international phone cards, and for friends and family who visited May! She and Karston had a wonderful time playing with Angie V., Adora, Angie F., Grandma and Great-Grandma!

On a more somber note, as we settle into our new home, we will be preparing for Karston’s second surgery. On August 19th, he will have his soft and hard palates repaired, requiring a two-night hospital stay and a total of ten days of recovery time. We will have to feed him through a syringe and use arm restraints again, and now that he’s stronger and more expressive, we anticipate that this will be a more difficult recovery time than the first surgery. Please pray for Karston’s health leading up to the surgery, a successful palate repair, and then a smooth and comfortable recovery time. We are comforted to know that God has prepared our family to endure these trials, and that He is the one who supplies the strength we need to get through each day. We appreciate the love God shows us through your prayers and encouragement. Thank you for your faithful support and concern for us.

Love in Christ,
Ivan and May

August-September 2004
Update

Dearest Friends and Family,

It has been a busy and eventful couple of months in the Yong household. After moving into our home in Frisco, Karston was blessed with visits by both sets of grandparents and aunties, and Ivan’s parents are here again as we write. Karston’s surgery is quickly becoming a distant memory as we move on with our “normal” lives. There is much to tell you about!

Well, we’ll begin with Karston who has just turned one year old! Our little guy is always on the go now, especially since he has discovered walking (while holding onto a hand or two) and pushing his little toy car around. He had refused to stand for quite a few weeks but as soon as he started standing again, he began cruising and “walking” all over. We’ve seen him “toddle” a few steps so far, and we think he’ll officially be walking on his own very soon. He’s still a very cautious boy – not one to fall and get back up repeatedly. It’s probably linked to his laid back and gentle personality. But he’s definitely looking and acting more like a toddler these days – no more chubby rolls on his lean frame and he often tests our limits and expresses his own will. May spends much of her time trying to feed him – there are so many things he would rather do than eat or drink! Karston has always been an astute observer and he’s so full of curiosity. He seems to study people and things intently. Lately we’ve found him sitting quietly by himself, endlessly turning pages in books. We think he must take after his daddy. =)

Speaking of daddy, the big news from Ivan’s trip to Istanbul can now be made public: one of the three new manuscripts they discovered may be the earliest known witness to Mark chapter 3! Ivan’s professor is crediting him with the discovery of this 3rd/4th century manuscript (affectionately referred to as “Uncle Mark”), even though Ivan feels that it was really a team effort. In the next year, they will present their findings at theological conferences and publish an article containing their analysis. Also, they have been invited to return to Istanbul next summer to continue their work! Please see the website of the Center for the Study of New Testament Manuscripts (www.csntm.org) for a brief description of their newly formed non-profit organization dedicated to New Testament manuscript research.

Ivan also “published” his first article. It’s a little technical, but we thought we’d tell you about it anyway. Basically, in 1 Thess 2:7 some Greek manuscripts have one letter less than others. Normally this doesn’t make too much a difference, but in this case it’s important because the Greek word in question will either mean “babes” or “gentle.” In the article, Ivan looks at the evidence and draws a conclusion about which word it should be. Here’s his article published on bible.org.

We have also been visiting a new church close to home since we want to worship and fellowship with believers in our community. It’s a fairly recent church plant with English and Mandarin congregations – there are only about 30 English members so it’s much smaller than we’re used to but it has also made it easier to get to know people and be involved. We are praying about joining the church and how we can minister there, and also be ministered to. Please pray for the Lord to use our family to be a blessing to others, even in the midst of our already busy schedules. Thanks for continuing to partner with us!

Love in Christ,
Ivan and May

October-November 2004
Update

Dearest Friends and Family,

We can’t believe that we are already approaching the holiday season! We made a quick trip to southern California in October for May’s cousin’s wedding, and although we had a great time, we wished that we could have spent more time with friends! We were able to take Karston to the beach for the first time – ah, how we miss the West Coast! This month we will be taking a road trip to San Antonio for a conference, and then celebrating Thanksgiving with Jeremy and Melanie here at home.

Life has slowed down a little bit as we have some time to rest before the hustle and bustle of the holidays. Ivan is currently looking for a job to help pay the bills since May’s work projects have decreased. Rather than splitting his time between school and work, Ivan has been taking a full course load this semester so that he can take next semester off and work full-time. He is looking specifically for something in the Information Technology field to utilize his past work experience, and although the job market isn’t great right now, we’re hopeful that the Lord will provide the perfect opportunity. Ivan has already interviewed with one company, and we’ll probably know the outcome in the next week or so.

Karston is busy keeping us on our toes these days. He’s officially walking, although still a little unsteady at times. He is always sure to eye a nice landing spot before deciding to walk anywhere – very analytical, hahaha. We enjoy hearing him babble and hum, and are eager to hear him start on more sounds now that his palate is repaired. A speech therapist visits us every other week to assist in working on Karston’s oral motor and feeding development and she always has encouraging reports of his increasing lip and mouth strength. And as for brain development, Karston has been amazing us with his ability to recognize and remember things. We’ve mentioned before how much he loves to look at books, but now we’ve realized that he has a lot more comprehension than we thought. For a couple of months now Karston has been pointing at animals and objects in books when you name them – we’re pretty amazed at how quickly he learns!

May has finally weaned from pumping after 13 months. It was challenging at times, but well worth it. We’re all glad to have the extra time and convenience now. Our current challenge is the world of food allergies – Karston had an allergic reaction to egg whites and could possibly be allergic to some other foods as well. We will be seeing an allergist in a couple of months, but in the meantime we have to be cautious and watchful. We’re hoping that he will eventually outgrow any allergies, especially since so many yummy foods have eggs in them!

Through each new trial and challenge, the Lord continues to remind us that He is in control and He provides for our every need. As we look back upon Karston’s first year, we realize that it was mostly about physical survival and development. God taught us so much about love and sacrifice, even in the daily routine of life. We can hardly believe that our expressive little toddler was once a helpless infant who was content gazing at the world around him from the cozy confines of his carrier. It’s exciting to see him full of energy and eager to learn and do new things. There’s nothing like seeing the world through the eyes of a child.

Love in Christ,
Ivan and May

Christmas 2004
Update

Dearest Friends and Family,

This year has been full of growth and blessings as well as difficulties and challenges. In one short year, we had a host of gracious visitors to Dallas, went on a couple of family road-trips, spent a month apart while Ivan worked in Istanbul, moved into our new home, suffered through Karston’s second surgery, celebrated Karston’s first birthday, and started attending a new church close to home. It has been a year of evaluation and re-evaluation for us as we seek to walk more deeply with the Lord and learn how that should affect our parenting.

We have been blessed to experience the sacrifices that parents make for their children, and we have learned firsthand that it is easy to sacrifice everything when a child’s very livelihood depends on you. It often amazes us to think about what a significant task God entrusts to parents to bring up a child in His way. As we see Karston developing by leaps and bounds (literally!) here in his second year of life, we sense the importance of shepherding him and providing him an environment where the love of Christ reigns. Our desire is for Karston to know that we love and serve God and not ourselves, and that it is for His great glory that we even exist. As we take baby steps in this endeavor, we hope that you can pray with us that we help shape Karston’s heart and not just teach him behavior modification.

Ivan is in the middle of his third year of seminary, and will probably have a couple more years to go. We see that God brought us to DTS to help Ivan recognize his passion for the Word, and the Lord has faithfully provided people, opportunities and resources to fuel this journey. His internship with Dr. Dan Wallace has proved to be very fruitful both academically and personally, and he looks forward to learning more and gaining a deeper understanding of the Bible. As the costs mount, however, he has been weighing a return to full-time IT work in order to provide some needed income, and he may begin in the coming spring or fall semester. In that case, he would continue taking classes part-time. The apparent inevitability of this decision has been one of our recent concerns, but we continue to trust God’s timing and provision.

There are times when we also struggle with Karston’s cleft-related issues – times of surgeries or dental checkups, speech therapy visits and for “no reason” at all. We mourn over the additional trials we will encounter over the course of his life and that he will always be “different.” But in the midst of this we cling to hope, not of prosperity or answers or miracles, but of salvation and future glory. In this life there will be sickness and mourning, temptation and trials, disappointment and despair, but there will always be hope and deliverance. Just as it is easier to see and address the physical more than the spiritual in raising a child, we often focus on the physical aspects of everyday life, neglecting what God has revealed to be the most important aspect of life itself. Our awesome Creator has blessed us with the joy and privilege of knowing Him, and He shows us His lovingkindness through His relationship with us. This Christmas we continue to reflect upon God’s precious gift to us in the form of His own Son, humbly brought into the world as a little baby but who would be known to generations to come as the very incarnation of God’s tender mercy, abundant grace and faithful love.

Love in Christ,
Ivan and May