Hickphonics
The following are excerpts from the Hickphonics/English dictionary:
HEIDI - noun. Greeting.
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage: "Heidi, hire yew?"
BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - noun. The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
BAMMER - noun. The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.
Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."
MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't head from him in munts."
THANK - verb. Ability to cognitively process.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
BARE - noun. An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
Usage: "Them Bammer boys sure are ignert!"
RANCH - noun. A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."
TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
RETARD - verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
FAT - noun, verb.
1. A battle or combat.
2. To engage in battle or combat.
Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n' n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."
RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
FARN - adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed...mus' be from some farn country."
DID - adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."
EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas: Oxygen.
Usage: "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ear!"
BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
JEW HERE - noun and verb contraction.
Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"
HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit 'n 'is laf."
SEED - verb, past tense of "to see."
VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York, view?"
