Episode 1 - Good Luck Father Ted
The first ever episode of Father Ted
sees the arrival of Funland, the world's most cataclysmic travelling funfair, to
Craggy Island. Funland is set up in The Field (it isn't really a field but it
has less rocks in it than most places), however Ted has unknowingly arranged to
meet a film crew there for an interview for 'Faith of Our Fathers'. In the
confusion of the funfair, Dougal meets the film crew who mistake him for Ted,
and he clutches his chance to tell the world his innermost thoughts on life,
religion and the spider baby.
Episode 2 - Entertaining Father Stone
boring priest in the world (top ten anyway) has come to stay on Craggy Island
with Ted and Dougal, who, try as they might cannot get rid of him. Ted tries
everything to get Father Stone to go and in the end resorts to praying for
divine intervention. Unfortunately not even God seems to like Father Stone and
strikes him down with a bolt of lightning in an untimely crazy golf incident..
Episode 3 - The Passion Of Saint Tibulus
The Passion of Saint Tibulus - the most
blasphemous film this century has been banned everywhere apart from Craggy
Island. Bishop Brennan decides it is up to Ted and 'Forest Gump' (Dougal) to
protect the moral interests of all the residents of Craggy Island. Sent to the
cinema, placards in hand, Ted and Dougal do more to promote the film than
prevent people watching it and the result is the most popular film ever shown in
Episode 4 - Competition Time
It's time for the All Priests Stars In
Their Eyes Lookalike Competition and Ted has resolved that he will not go
dressed as Mother Teresa again. He has come up with the idea of going as Elvis
this year and the only problem is that so have Jack and Dougal. Ted can't afford
to lose to the gang from Rugged Island (who look quite fetching in their
dresses) and in the end comes up with 'the three ages of Elvis'.
Episode 5 - And God Created Women
Ted's vows come under self-scrutiny
when he falls for Polly Clarke, a famous authoress of romantic novels. The only
problem is that Polly does not feel the same way and decides to join a group of
nuns; nuns which no longer idolise Ted after a lukewarm welcome and super-short
Episode 6 - Grant Unto Him Eternal Rest
The end is nigh for Father Jack after
he overdoses on floor polish and is declared medically dead (although Ted takes
some convincing). Ted and Dougal stand to inherit a fortune from his will
but only one thing stands in their way - Jack won't stay stay dead long enough
for them to collect it.
Episode 1 - Hell
It's holiday time for the gang from
Craggy Island, but it turns out to be the holiday from hell. Dougal fails to
bring anything with them and so their entertainment is limited to a tree stump,
a magic road, an over-exitable youth group and watching the kettle boil. Jack
appears to be the only one who actually enjoys the holiday when he falls into
the sea and is saved by some lovely girls.
Episode 2 - Think Fast, Father Ted
A fund-raising raffle is arranged in
order to mend a leaking parochial house roof. The grand prize, a car (which was
generously donated by Bishop Brennan on behalf of the diocese) is slightly
damaged by a cyclist on the road, and greatly damaged by Ted trying to fix it.
Ted must find a way to raise the money needed and obtain a new car. Just
remember - it's not unusual for the people who run a raffle to actually win it.
Episode 3 - Tentacles Of Doom
Three bishops pay a brief visit to
Craggy Island in order to upgrade a holy stone to a class two relic. Ted wants
the parish to appear normal to the outside world and unfortunately, this
involves Jack to join Ted's re-education programme and Dougal to keep his big
mouth shut. The visit isn't a complete failure - at least only one of the
bishops is unhappy with the time they spent on Craggy Island.
Episode 4 - The Old Grey Whistle Thief
Scandal and crime hits Craggy Island
when a whistle is stolen - by a priest! Meanwhile Dougal is led astray by local
delinquent priest, Father Damo and manages to get Ted into trouble with the
police and then completely embarasses him as usual.
Episode 5 - A Song For Europe
Eurosong fever hits Craggy Island due
to the ever ongoing rivalry between Ted and Father Dick Byrne. Ted and Dougal
find it harder to write a song than they first imagined and eventually produce
'My Lovely Horse'. Things do not go to plan however and they end up reverting to
plan B - and still win!
Episode 6 - The Plague
The Parochial House becomes infested
with rabbits just in time to coincide with Bishop Brennan's arrival. Bishop
Brennan (who just happens to be terrified of rabbits) has come to the island
after a rash of sightings of Father Jack sleepwalking in the nude. Things come
to a head when Jack's nude sleepwalking brings him (and the rabbits) into a
Episode 7 - Rock A Hula Ted
Man-hating rock star Niamh Connolly
visits the island and buys the parochial house. Well actually Dougal just gave
it to her. Ted is meanwhile peresenting the Lovely Girls Competition and gets
mistaken for a perverted deviant. Niamh decides to give them the house back but
the lads have to make some compromises first.
Episode 8 - Cigarettes And Alcohol And Rollerblading
Lenten vows prove to be difficult to
keep for Ted, Jack and Dougal. In comes Sister Assumpta, part of the sadistic
Mattie Hislop group, to punish the lads. They end up being punished daily and
sacraficing the things they love dearly. Ted endevours to get rid of the crazy
nun and an incident with an Easter egg proves to be the devine intervention they
Episode 9 - New Jack City
Father Jack is once again afflicted
with a severe case of hairy hands and ends up in Saint Clabberts. Jack is
replaced by Father Stack, a priest who listens to jungle music late into the
night and likes to drill holes in the wall for fun. Ted dreams of getting rid of
Stack and for once it is Dougal who saves the day when he forgets to dissinfect
Episode 10 - Flight Into Terror
A routine trip to a holy shrine ends in
near-disaster when the aeroplane runs out of fuel. Dougal is of course to blame
and Ted of course fixes the mess. Using the holy stickytape purchased earlier
Ted climbs onto the wheel of the plane and reattatches the fuel line to the
reserve. Only one thing - WHAT WAS HE DOIN' ON THE FECKIN' WHEEL?
A Christmassy Ted
Ted and Dougal get lost in a lingerie
section in a department store, which later turns out to be Ireland's biggest
lingerie section. They meet with some other priests who are also 'lost' and Ted
leads them in an escape bid. His reward for doing so is a Golden Cleric award.
Ted dreams of bigger and better things for himself but a phoney priest, Todd
Unctious throws a spanner in the works.
Episode 1 - Are You Right There Father Ted?
Ted is mistaken for a racist when a
local chinese family mistakingly view him indulging in a spot of racism while
cleaning the house. In several attempts to redeem himself, Ted does more to dig
himself further in than to clear his name. The highlight of this show however
has to be the sight of 'Heir Jack' - complete with nazi uniform.
Episode 2 - Chirpy Birpy Cheap Sheep
Ted bets on the King of The Sheep '98
competition and puts the entire annual heating allowance on Chris the sheep to
win. However there is a beast loose on Craggy Island which has terrified Chris
to such a point that he's only a shadow of a sheep. Ted endevours to nurse Chris
back to health because as a priest he has an intuitive understanding of sheep.
All is not what it seems in this high profile sheep competition and it doesn't
take Ted too long to figure out what's going on.
Episode 3 - Speed 3
After Ted gets the latest milkman fired
for delivering more than dairy produce, Dougal takes over his round. Pat
Mustard, the milkman in question decides to retaliate by putting a bomb on the
milkfloat. It is up to Ted to save Dougal, but another mass doesn't sound like
the best idea in the world!
Episode 4 - The Mainland
A trip to the mainland proves to have
disasterous consequences when Ted has a brief encounter with Richard Wilson (aka.
Victor Meldrew), Dougal nearly starves to death, Mrs. Doyle is imprisoned and is
later joined by Jack and Father Noel ends up under a big pile of rocks, all
leaving Ted wishing he'd never went in the first place.
Episode 5 - Escape From Victory
Ted's chances of beating Dick Byrne at
the All Priests Over 75's Five a Side Football championship, are severely
reduced after the best player in the team dies and Jack overdoses on Dreamy
Sleepy Nighty Snoozy Snooze. Ted however finds a way round this completely
ludicrous situation and all looks well until Dougal messes it up again.
Episode 6 - Kicking Bishop Brennan Up The Arse
This episode sees the welcome return of
Len Brennan, everyone's favourite bishop. Ted has to complete his forfeit from
the previous episode and (as the title suggests) has to kick Bishop Brennan up
the Arse. Will he go through with it? Will Bishop Brennan retaliate? Well, the
short answer is, yes!
Episode 7 - Night Of The Nearly Dead
Mrs. Doyle is elated to discover that
she's won a chance to meet her idol Eoin Mc Love. Eoin is the latest thing to
hit the pop scene (think Daniel O' Donnell). During his visit to Craggy Island,
Eoin is stalked by the Island's senior citizen population and envied by Father
Dougal. Oh yes, and he has no willy.
Episode 8 - Going To America
Ted's big chance to finally escape
Craggy Island comes in the form of a place at a Californian parish. Does he have
the heart to tell the rest of the gang that he is leaving however? Or will the
problem be that in the end, the opportunity of a lifetime is not all it seems.