DISCLAIMERS: I don’t know Lucy Lawless, Renee O’Connor-Muir, Rob Tapert or any of the Xena staff. This is a big huge piece of FICTION. It’s not real, though events it’s based on are. And this one is REALLY short!!!!

I do not own the characters of Xena and Gabrielle, or any other character mentioned on the television show XENA: WARRIOR PRINCESS. I’m just playing around with them.

Other than for "personal use" this story may not be reproduced, posted, or archived without the express written consent of the author...and that would be me...

If you have read my "Xena Lawless" series of stories (the Reel Life series), then you know I like to extrapolate upon my personal conspiracy theories and possible situations. Whether they are real or not, I don’t know. I bring this up because this is a SHORT story that continues the series.

This is an Alt piece with subtext and main text. If you don’t like the brand, go buy something else, neh?

FOUL LANGUAGE ALERT! Yes, they cuss. Get over it.

SPOILER ALERT!! There are spoilers for the series finale "A Friend in Need, part one and two."

I’m writing this because it’s something that popped into my head as I watched part two and in the weeks that followed the unfortunate ending to this series.

Thanks go to my boss for leaving his computer at work and letting me use it to get this idea out so I can work on the million other things I need to work on, to Evy for pressuring me into writing more in the way of this series (yes, there will be a Reel Life 5, but I think this needs to come out first,) to Bill who reads my stuff in its very rough stages to help me out with it, and to my muses, for being weird.

The title refers to the feeling everyone has that things in their life really aren’t from THEIR LIVES. That somehow you’re watching someone else’s life unfold in front of you…kind of like how we’ve watched the lives of Xena and Gabrielle over the years.

"A Vignette from a Life Not Mine" by Magenta
(the_AURYN@angelfire.com)
Story Copyright 2001, Kimyoo Films.

~~~~~
CHAPTER ONE
The Kiss

"Uh...yeah. Okay, let’s take five, people, then we’ll conquer the kiss and the ending," said Rob, his lispy alto rising over the voices of the gathered crew. The producer, and the writer/director for the finale, approached his actors as the crew broke up for lunch.

"You two ready for this?" he asked, his voice tight and controlled. After all these years, he still didn’t like the fact that Lucy left him for Renee...and they were truly in love.

"Of course we are...but what is the ending? I mean, you keep telling us that it’s a surprise and that we’ll love it and we won’t be disappointed, but we haven’t seen hide nor hair of those pages."

Rob inwardly winced at the words "we" and "us," but kept his cool and replied, "You’ll know when we get this kiss done with."

Renee almost busted out laughing at the obvious disgust and venom he injected into the word "kiss," but this is what they bargained for...and she wasn’t about to let him weasel out of it. *It’s for the fans...and for us...* she thought.

"Is it a silent scene, Rob? I mean, if there are lines, we’ll need them as soon as possible..." Lucy pointed out as she wrapped an arm around Renee’s waist.

Rob nearly ripped the script in his hands to shreds. "Don’t worry…there aren’t too many lines…then we can all go home.
"Let’s reset... We’ll take up from Yodoshi’s fireball into Gabrielle’s back, reflected by the dragon tattoo."

The crew, aware that these were their last moments together, slowly came back to work and got into position. They all felt sorry for the guest stars on the last episodes, new-comers on the last episode. They were still surprised Rob Tapert didn’t take the show back to Chin or keep it in Greece. They all voiced their concerns, which Rob silenced with a short wave and a curt "I know what I’m doing..."

Once everyone was back in their positions, they got ready to film the last few shots, then go into the Mystery Ending. Not even R.J. Stewart, the episode’s co-writer, knew what Rob had up his sleeve...and certainly not Lucy.

"Quiet on the set. Lock it down, please," called Rob to his assistants and the crew. "Roll cameras, give me speed."

"Speed," called the director of photography.

"And action, Gabrielle."

Renee poured the water into her mouth then reacted to a fireball that would hit her in the back when it’s added in post-production. She then turned around, the water still in her mouth, and stumbled towards Lucy who was lying on the ground. Renee got onto her knees and lifted Lucy’s head to pour the water from her mouth into her co-star’s, and seal the transfer with a kiss. They broke apart and looked into each other’s eyes. Lucy paused.

"I don’t remember my line..."

Rob rolled his eyes. "Cut. Reset..."

"Sorry, Ren...you just taste so good..." whispered the actress to her blonde co-star.

Renee blushed, helped Lucy to her feet and whispered, "Lucy...we really should try to get this part over with as soon as possible..."

"Why?" asked her lover.

"Rob’s about to not only kill us, but obliterate us..."

"Why do you care all of a sudden? I mean, he’s treated you with nothing but disrespect for a long time."

"Yeah, I know...call it Southern Kindness. I would just rather get through this without bloodshed..."

Lucy leaned in close to her lover, in spite of the look Rob was giving them, and whispered softly. "You’re so cute..."

Rob cleared his throat. "If we could finish this before the end of the millennium, I’d appreciate it."

"What’s my line, then?" Lucy called over to the script manager.

"It’s ‘Gabrielle’, Luce... " he called back, followed by giggles sprinkled throughout the crew. Lucy smiled and shrugged, then she and Renee returned to their marks. Once everyone was settled and the set locked down, Rob called action to Renee.

She scooped the water into her mouth and again reacted to the fireball that would hit her in post. She stumbled over to Lucy, crawled almost on top of her, then lifted her head to transfer the water and seal the transfer with a kiss. Then the director of photography accidentally jarred the camera, ruining the shot as not enough of the kiss was filmed.

"Goddammit!" shouted Rob. "Cut! Reset!"

Renee smiled and gave Lucy another quick kiss before going back to her first mark.

"Fucking action already..."

Once again, Renee gathered the water, reacted to the fireball, and transferred the water to Lucy, sealing the transfer with a kiss. The blonde felt Lucy’s body flush red-hot and reacted by deepening the kiss, becoming oblivious to the film crew around them. She felt a hand that did not belong her her caress the inside of her thigh with feather-light strokes, eliciting gooseflesh all over her body.

Rob was staring at the heat the women generated and spaced out, wrapped up in his own thoughts about what had to have been missing from his relationship with Lucy to drive her into the arms of another woman. Not once did love cross his mind.

Finally, as Lucy wrapped her arms around Renee, forgetting the teasing caresses on the blonde's thigh, needing only to feel her close, did a crew member speak up. "Uh...Rob...I don’t think you can show all this on TV yet."

The producer shook himself from his thoughts and yelled cut. With remarkable restraint, Renee pulled away from Lucy’s lips and sat back onto the ground.

"Just relax a second, I want to check the video of it," said Rob, noticing the electric looks exchanged between Lucy and Renee. He calmly, almost clinically, watched the video daily and discovered, much to his dismay, that the boom mic fell into frame a second after the kiss started and stayed until he called out cut. Can’t edit it out.

He cleared his throat. "Renee...we need to film that again." The blonde looked over her shoulder and nodded at Rob, then turned back to Lucy.

"Oh darn," she whispered as she snapped her fingers, stood, and went back to her first mark.

This time, the take went off without a hitch, with enough footage to edit with and include on the DVD he was planning.

"Cut! Print. Now we move on to the ending.
"Everyone, take a break. Lucy and Renee, I need you to follow me so I can give you the scripts for the end."

The actors looked at each other, then got up and followed Rob into an office in the rear of the soundstage.

*****
CHAPTER TWO
Uhoh…

"Rob? You’re kidding, right? What is this?" asked Lucy as she finished reading the script for the ending of the show.

"It’s the end, Lucy." Rob took a deep breath, sighed, and sat down in front of the two actors to talk to them. "With things going how they have been, I felt that it was time to just end Xena. That way, if there are no more movies, the fans won’t really mind...and if there are, they can say to each other ‘Well, that’s Xena for ya.’ "

"The fans are going to want to lynch you, Rob..." informed Renee. "Like Hercules and Iolaus, Xena and Gabrielle are supposed to ride off into the sunset... "

Rob points to the script. "Right here...it says, ‘Xena and Gabrielle sail off into the sunset.’ "

"But Xena’s not ALIVE, Rob... Don’t you get it? The point is that love always triumphs over adversity…that there is no good without evil, no yin without yang, no Gabrielle without Xena."

"She still has Xena, Renee," the producer said, his patience wearing thin.

"Gabrielle is talking to an urn. The people she’s supposed to be saving are gonna think she’s gone loopy! Off her rocker...a can short of a six pack-"

"Renee...I think you’re failing to see the poetic justice behind her death," said Rob, almost patronizingly, glancing at Lucy to see if she regarded her lover’s rant to be as idiotic as he did. She did not.

"I get it, Rob. I’m not as stupid as you’d like me to be. I’m voicing my opinion that it needs to be changed."

The producer regarded Renee coldly. "This is the ending to Xena and that is final. You will perform it the way it is written, with no ad libbing, no improv, and when you’re asked about it, even ten years later, you will say that you liked the ending. That’s how it’s written in your contract, and that’s how it’s gonna be, you got it?
"Let’s go film the fucker." Rob stood and walked towards the door, leaving Lucy and Renee to look at each other, their anger at Rob apparent in their eyes, but they stood and followed him out to the set.

Lucy went to the costumer to put her Xena leathers back on and Renee, soundlessly, stood on her mark next to where Xena would stand in her leathers. She said nothing to the people who touched up her make-up and the dragon tattoo. She did, however, look up into Lucy’s baleful cerulean blue eyes. They kissed, needing to feel each others strength in what will become a trying time for all of them once this scene was filmed and shown.

Impatient, Tapert yelled out, "Cut it out already…we need to shoot this NOW."

*****
CHAPTER THREE
The Wrap Party

It wasn’t as fabulous as the TV programmes made it out to be… Lucy and Renee received their matching jade pieces from the crew almost like a final sign of defiance of their erstwhile producer. While the camera crews were there to document the ending of the landmark television show, everyone put on their happy faces, almost in mockery of Rob Tapert. Once the cameras left, the affair turned somber, with the party breaking up early.

When Renee came out of the costumers room, her getting undressed taking longer because she needed to take off the tattoos as well, she saw Lucy and Rob talking by the table that held the refreshments for the party. Curious, but not wanting to intrude, she hung back, waiting for Lucy to finish talking with Rob so they could go home. After a minute or two, Lucy broke away from the conversation, and Rob’s hand on her arm, and walked towards Renee, a saddened smile on her face.

"What’s the matter, Luce?" the blonde asked as she wrapped her arms around Lucy’s waist and lifted herself onto her tiptoes for a kiss.

"Rob...fuckin’...argh," she said, her usual eloquence clouded by her anger and frustration with the producer.

"What?"

"He tells me that he prepared, and sent out, a statement to E! Online that he knew exactly what was going to happen and that he and I are gonna go to Hawaii for some ‘family time’...then he has the balls to ask me to go with him."

"You can if you want..." offered Renee, knowing that this has got to be difficult for the kids most of all.

"I’m not going anywhere without you, babe..."

The blonde offered Lucy a smile and they walked out, their arms around each other, and a pissed and jealous Rob Tapert looking after them.

"We’ll see about that, Lucy."

The End (until Reel Life 4, that is… ;)

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