RATING: NC-17
SUMMARY: Kathryn begins to see a new side to her former first officer’s friend
DISCLAIMER: Characters – Paramounts, Story - mine
NOTE: I’d already got part of this into my head when a conversation started up on another list about Kathryn having a relationship with another else besides Chakotay. The general consensus was that Ayala was not a good candidate. It was implied that he was too like Chakotay, that it would seem like a rebound, and that we barely knew anything about him to begin with. In short, it was implied that a J/A relationship just wouldn’t fit. I’m about to change all that!
The door chime woke Kathryn from her early evening nap. It had been a tiring day at Fleet headquarters and she had literally thrown her boots off before sinking onto the couch. The door chime had come a few hours later and she noticed that it had grown dark outside. Wearily she got up and walked towards the door, wondering who might be the other side.
She was a little surprised to see the best friend of her former first officer standing on her step. “Mike,” she smiled. “Come in.” It had been some months since she’d seen any of the former members of Chakotay’s maquis crew, including the man she was now ushering into her living room.
“Thanks,” he replied as he hesitantly sat down on her couch. “I hope you don’t mind. I was in the area, my ex-wife lives near here and I’ve just been visiting the kids.”
“I don’t mind at all,” she smiled. “I don’t get nearly as many visitors as I’d like. She drifted over to the replicator. “Drink?”
“Yeah, thanks. A water would be great.” He took the glass she offered him and swirled it around. “Funny, I was meant to be going for a beer earlier with Chakotay but now I don’t feel like drinking alcohol at all.”
She raised an eyebrow at him over her own mug of coffee as she took the armchair opposite him. “Oh?”
He gave a short laugh. “That’s three times now he’s blown me off since we got back and all because of her.” Ayala shook his head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t come here to grouse about him. I know he’s a good friend of yours.”
Kathryn shook her own head. “I’ll be honest, I’ve barely seen him myself.” She shrugged and took a sip of her drink. “He seems happy so I decided to just let him be,” she continued.
The former security officer stared at her. “Crap. He really has done a number on us, hasn’t he?” He drained his glass and sat it down on the table in front of him. “Its funny,” he began slowly. “I always thought I’d possibly see where you’d end up living, but I always thought it would be because he’d be here and I’d be visiting him.”
“Life doesn’t always work out the way you want it to, Mike,” she said softly. “I’ve learned to accept it. So should you. I was sorry to hear about your wife leaving you.”
“To be expected I suppose. No one had an idea when we’d get back and it wasn’t fair for her to give up her life waiting for something that might never happen.” He took in her shocked expression. “What?”
“You sound just like Chakotay,” she grinned. “Always going on about not giving up the present for a future that might never happen.”
“You got that one too, huh?” he grinned back. “We used to get that one all the time and wonder how he could say that when it seemed to go against everything that we were fighting for.” He paused again. “Maybe it’s a good thing we didn’t get the alcohol out, we sound maudlin enough already. I’m sorry, perhaps I should go.” He stood up and headed towards the door.
He had his fingers on the handle when a light hand grasped his arm. “You’re welcome to visit any time. I want you to know that,” she said. “It seems to me like we actually have a few things in common besides Chakotay.”
“We do?”
Kathryn smiled secretively at him. “Come back around sometime and I’ll tell you.”
That sometime proved to be three nights later. This time he refused to come in.
“Grab a jacket, Kathryn,” he told her, having absolutely no qualms about using her name rather than her title. “We’re going out for dinner.”
Stunned, she did as he commanded. They were halfway down the street when she finally asked what he was doing.
“You’ve got me intrigued,” he confessed. “I’m wondering what we could possibly have in common besides Chakotay.”
She laughed. “You mean besides being on Voyager for seven years?”
“Yeah.” He turned slightly to face her as they walked down the steep hill. “And in those seven years how is it you rarely made an appearance at any leisure event that we put on. Sure, I remember the first time you hustled Paris at the pool table and no one will ever forget the display you put on at talent night that one time. But it just seemed that as the years went on we saw less and less of you and more and more of the captain, who only presented herself to us all at formal events. Why is that?”
“You know why,” she answered him quietly. “Because I was the captain. I couldn’t just relax and have fun like the rest of you.”
“You mean you couldn’t sleep with your first officer like you wanted to.”
Kathryn stopped in her tracks and looked sharply at him. “My, aren’t you a blunt person.”
He had the decency to look embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
But she waved him off with a smile. “Its all right, I’m just not used to people being that open with me. It’s a little refreshing actually.”
They began walking again. “I thought Chakotay might have been open with you. You and he always seemed to be close.”
“So close he couldn’t even tell me he was dating Seven.” The words slipped out before Kathryn could stop them. She couldn’t believe she had said that to a man she hardly knew. Oh, he might have served on the same ship for seven years but he was right when he had said that she’d not spent a great deal of time with her crew. What she knew about him could be summed up neatly into one small paragraph. She stared down at her feet pounding the sidewalk. “I guess now I should be apologising for speaking like that,” she said.
“Don’t be,” he replied. “If you feel you can talk to me, Kathryn, then I’ll be happy to listen. And let me tell you something. He didn’t tell any of us: not you, not me, not B’Elanna. He told no one.” Ayala laughed. “Actually, when B’Elanna found out her reasoning for him not telling us was that he was embarrassed to let it be known. And that suits me just fine. He knows what he’s done.” They rounded a corner and found themselves by the water. “And there’s where I’m taking you for dinner. You look like a stick if you don’t mind me saying so. Its time someone bothered to make sure you ate something.”
She smiled. “You are so like Chakotay, you know,” she said, shaking her head in amazement.
“Its what made us such good friends,” he grinned, holding open the door to the restaurant for her. “At one time anyway.”
Over a quiet seafood dinner Kathryn finally revealed to him just what exactly they had in common besides Voyager’s first officer. She told Ayala about Mark, and how she had received his message stating that he had moved on with his life and married. “So you see,” she said. “You weren’t the only one who had a loved one completely give up on you.”
He looked a little shocked. “I had no idea you even had a fiancee,” he said.
She smiled sadly. “How could I say anything? Others, like yourself, had left loved ones behind. I could say I understood, I could say I left family as well, but I couldn’t say more. Besides, how would it have been for the captain to be counselling someone and suddenly need counselling herself because the conversation brought up memories for her.”
“Always the captain,” he muttered. “So why didn’t you say anything afterwards, when you got his letter?”
“Chakotay knew. But he’d just received bad news himself. And if anyone else had known then it could only have dampened spirits. Who knows how many others might have given up the hope of being with their families again if they believed it was possible for those family members to have given up on them and moved on with their lives?”
“I guess.” The younger man played with the knife that lay on his plate briefly. “But it would have helped so much to those who did find out through the years that their families had moved on.” He looked across at her. “Mind you, it wouldn’t have helped me. My wife didn’t tell me about the divorce until she showed up to welcome us home with her new husband. Who’d have thought you could get divorced in absentia?”
“You’d be surprised,” Kathryn said, with a hint of bitterness. “If Mark and I had been married I suspect I would have found the same thing. I wouldn’t mind, but he got my dog who now doesn’t even recognise me.”
“I thought dogs never forgot an owner.”
“This one did, trust me.” She paused and said wearily. “It seems I’m a forgettable sort of person.”
“Never.” He leaned across the table and grasped her hand. “I’ll never forget you anyway. How could I? You have had such a big impact in my life. Even now, by telling me about Mark. You don’t know how it feels to hear someone else say that the person they loved moved on. It tells me I’m not alone and you have no idea how alone I felt, watching the like of Samantha Wildman meet up with her husband again, even Harry Kim’s girlfriend waited for him.”
Kathryn turned their hands over and stared at them. “Actually, I do. I felt the same way.”
“To be honest,” she said later as they walked down by the water. “I am a little relieved that Mark didn’t wait for me. Oh, never mind how I felt towards Chakotay, or even Jaffen when we got stuck on Quarra. But Mark just simply wasn’t my type.”
He leaned against the sea wall and looked at her, grinning. “So what is your type?”
“I don’t know,” she said absently. She turned away and watched the waves crashing against each other in the inky darkness of San Francisco Bay. “Tall, dark, handsome, perhaps?”
He laughed. “So I’m your type then?”
Kathryn turned back to him, a smile across her face. “Well, if you want to put yourself into that category, go right ahead. Though I was going to add wild to the list.”
“Wild as in uncontrollable or wild as in unpredictable?”
“Unpredictable I guess.”
“In life or in bed?”
She shook her head, debating whether or not she should attempt to death glare him. Instead she settled for a half smile that drifted to one side of her face. “You do ask impertinent questions, don’t you? Just give me one good reason why I should even give an answer to that particular one.”
Ayala leaned forward so that his dark eyes almost pierced into her. “Because you may just find that we have even more in common than you originally thought,” he murmured in a low tone.
Kathryn shivered, not only from the intensity of his gaze but also from the tone of his voice and the implication of the words he had just spoken. Why did I never notice you before, she wondered. But she already knew the answer. Ayala had just been a member of her crew, and she’d never spent as much time with her crew as she had first intended at the start of the long journey. She paused momentarily, gaining an invisible strength and looked him straight in the eye. “I make it a policy never to go to bed with someone on a first date,” she said levelly.
“And I make it a policy not to sleep with my captain,” he replied. “But there’s a first time for everything.”
“That there is.” She turned away again but suddenly felt incredibly brave. “Think you’re up for the challenge, Mister Ayala?” she called back over her shoulder as she strode away.
His pounding footsteps on the sidewalk were an indication that he thought he was. “What do you have in mind?” he whispered into her ear as he placed an arm around her waist.
Kathryn laughed softly. “Cuffs, chains?”
“Whips and leather?” he continued.
They burst into laughter just as they reached the front steps to her house. “Are we crazy?” she asked him.
“Perhaps a little,” Ayala admitted. “But we can always blame Chakotay for it.” He sobered up a little. “Look. If you’d rather I didn’t stay then I’ll understand. I mean, it’s all very well talking but well, doing, it’s something else entirely.”
Kathryn thought for a moment. Voyager was going through a complete overhaul and it was anticipated that her entire crew would accept a continued assignment on it, including the man now standing in front of her. She had always had a policy of not having an intimate relationship with any member of her crew yet what she could decide now could throw that policy out the window. She tried to reason further with herself, it could just be a one-night thing. Worse still it could be a rebound from her tangled emotions over Chakotay. But Ayala was here, Ayala was now and he’d not walked away. Yet. “What would you like?” she asked, trusting that he would continue to be as blunt as he had been so far.
“Honestly?”
“Honestly.”
He sighed. “I’d like to take you into my arms right now and carry you up these steps, through that door and steer you right through to your bedroom, wherever that may be.”
“At the back of the house,” she told him. “One flight of stairs up.”
He laughed and ran a hand through his hair. “I like you very much Kathryn Janeway as a friend, and will always respect you as a Captain.” He paused. “Okay, that does sound like a line. What I’m trying to say is, wherever we go from here I hope this won’t cause any awkwardness on a personal or a professional level. But lady,” he said, leaning in close. “You are one hell of a beautiful woman. And I can’t think of anything else I’d rather do tonight than what I’ve just told you.”
As he finished he placed his hands on her shoulders and drew her close to him. Kathryn felt all power drain out of her as she felt his lips descend upon hers. The soft touch of him against her enticed her and she pulled him closer still, arms going around his waist. When they finally drew apart she had only one thing to say to him, which she did in a husky voice. “Back of the house. One flight of stairs up.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said with a grin and she found herself elevated into his arms and on the receiving end of another bruising kiss. “Hope your neighbours are enjoying the scene,” he said when they parted to catch their breaths. “How scandalous for Starfleet’s honoured to be mauled in a public area.”
“Mauled?” she asked him, one eyebrow raised. “Well, if that’s what you’re doing, maul me more before I have to issue you a command order.”
Somehow they made it into her house and, with some directions from Kathryn, eventually to her bedroom. He gently let her down on her bed and then stood back.
“Right, goodnight then,” he said.
She leaned up on her lower arms, staring at him in disbelief. “You’re not leaving me now?”
“I did what I said what I wanted to do, didn’t I?”
She gazed up at him. “And there I was thinking you had more planned and just weren’t letting on.”
Ayala leaned over the edge of the bed, placing his hands on the covers either side of her ankles. “You want more, woman?”
“Damn straight I do. Walk out that door now and I’ll have you reassigned to the Enterprise.”
“And what if I prefer Picard to Janeway?”
She sat upright and grabbed him around the neck. “Don’t you dare! Besides,” she added with a gleam in her eye. “I’m sure Picard isn’t as good in bed.”
“Going to prove that are you?”
In reply she pulled him down so that he was lying on top of her. Quickly shifting so that he was placing his weight on his hands rather than her, he leaned in and captured her mouth with his. It was just the catalyst needed. Within seconds they were rolling over each other on the bed, clothes quickly being discarded in different directions, before their tempo slowed and Kathryn found herself lying on her back again.
“You are so beautiful,” Ayala breathed as he kissed his way down her skin. He paused at her breasts, gently licking and sucking at each one. “For seven long years I wondered what that uniform was hiding. Now I know.” His hands blazed a trail down her side, caressing the curves of her breasts, descending further to graze her thighs, as her own hands tangled in his hair.
Kathryn was in awe of the sensations she was experiencing. For so long she had been without someone who had really appreciated her body for what it was. She knew she didn’t have a model’s physique or even one of a woman twenty years younger. Her body reflected her age, her life experiences. She shuddered as her lover’s fingers softly covered one of the few scars she still possessed, touched that he would pay such attention to those blemishes of imperfection.
He continued ever downward, slowly covering each part of her body that lay exposed before him. Gently, he ran his fingers over the most intimate part of her and then slowly inserted a finger inside her. She could feel already how ready she was for him.
“So wet,” he grinned. “You’ve obviously been thinking about this for a while.” A second finger joined the first.
“You’re an intriguing man,” she replied languidly, thoroughly enjoying the pleasure his fingers were giving her.
“And you are an intriguing woman.” Keeping his fingers inside her he inched his way back up her body. Her hand reached out to grasp him, wanting to feel his strength but he brushed her away. “Another time perhaps,” he smiled.
Kathryn gasped as his hand withdrew from her. She immediately felt bereft of his presence even though he was still with her. “Don’t leave,” she let out involuntarily.
“Never,” he whispered as he began to position himself over her. Brushing her entrance he asked quietly. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, damn it,” she growled. “I need you, Mike. I need you inside me now. Do I have to make it an order?” Her hands grasped at his back, trying to pull him into her. She needed him, craved him, longed for him to fill her, to make her whole, as she had not felt whole in years.
“Go on,” he challenged, his dark eyes and voice taunting her. “Make it an order.”
“Damn you, Lieutenant,” she ground out. “Get inside me. Now.”
“Yes, Captain,” he replied smartly and with a single thrust he buried himself deep inside of her. She groaned as he stretched her to her limit yet clawed further at his back as she cried for more. Once within her he did not cease, instead he chose to withdraw slightly before plunging back in. Concentrating his weight with one hand he lowered his other down her body, and began to tease her nub. Within seconds she was exploding, letting loose an almighty scream that was followed seconds later by his own roar which accompanied his release into her.
“Good morning,” she said lazily, watching as he rolled onto his back and stretched. “Its nice to see you didn’t leave in the middle of the night.”
He stared up at her. “Did you expect me to?”
Kathryn sighed. “To be honest, I don’t know. I had no expectations going into last night if that’s what you’re asking.” She turned onto her side, propping herself up onto her elbow. “I have no regrets though.”
Ayala reached out and traced a finger along her cheek. “I don’t ever. Would you like to do this again sometime?”
“What? Now?” she asked grinning.
“Now if you want, but I’m thinking any time.” His finger began to drift along her jawline. “I’d like to see you again, Kathryn. You’re an amazing woman, and I don’t just mean in bed, though you are pretty incredible here too.”
She blushed. He certainly had a way with words, she realised. He was also being himself and had not deviated from that from the moment he had appeared on her doorstep a few nights before. She admired that in him. He’d not hidden behind or let her hide behind any form of protocol. She didn’t quite know where a repeat of last night might lead to and it might be interesting once Voyager had finished its refit and the crew was asked report for duty. “Dinner,” she eventually decided. “Tonight. Here.”
“Sounds good,” he said. “But I’ll cook,” he added with a grin on his face. “I too have heard the tale of the pot roast you managed to decimate.”
Kathryn pulled back from him. “Does everyone on Voyager know about that?”
But he pulled her back close to him. “It was a reaffirmation to all of us. That you were human.” He kissed her gently. “I like you better when you’re human.”
“Like now?” she asked uncertainly.
“Certainly like now. Shall I show you?”
Kathryn eventually made it to her temporary office for a few hours in the afternoon. After perusing the few standard reports that everyone received she began attending to the business surrounding Voyager. Most of her crew were reporting in on a weekly basis, not so much formal reports but letting her know what they were up to, how their families were, and offering any services they could with regard to the refit. Tuvok had returned home to Vulcan and had undergone a course of treatment for his illness, Tom and B’Elanna had been spending time with the Paris clan proudly showing off Miral, and Harry had begun to reform the life he had known with Libby. But noticeable by his silence was her former first officer. She hated to think of him like that as if he were no longer a part of the crew but she had to wonder just what his plans were. The Federation had assured that the members of the maquis were no longer outlaws and many, like Mike and B’Elanna, had made the decision to stay on in Starfleet to serve on Voyager. Chakotay himself had been pardoned; his extensive good record taken into account and his rank of commander had been made permanent. But he had shown no signs of wanting that rank and Kathryn wondered when she would finally have to accept the inevitable and find herself a new first officer.
Sighing, she put the final padd down and turned her chair to gaze out of the window. The position of her office in the building afforded her a fine view overlooking the bay and the amazing centuries-old Golden Gate Bridge. If she looked carefully enough she thought with a grin, she might just see the part of the walk along the sea wall where she had propositioned her young security lieutenant the night before.
The thought of Ayala brought Kathryn crashing back to reality. How had she ended up in bed with him? He was a friend of Chakotay’s she realised with a jolt. She’d told him that he was like Chakotay but only now was she accepting just how true it was. Was that the issue here? Was it because he was so like Chakotay that she had made love with him? She stared blankly out of the window, not seeing the gulls that circled around in front of her. Did they really have any sort of a future in front of them or was she just on an emotional ride, muddling what she might have felt for her first officer and transferring to the man who was now in her life?
When she got home that evening she found Ayala, as expected, already there. She’d given him access to her home so that he might be able to make an early start on the dinner he’d said he’d prepare. To her surprise however, she found the kitchen in darkness and the table not set. The man himself was standing by the fireplace, looking at the collection of family pictures she had arranged upon the shelf.
“Is everything okay?” she asked, concerned.
He turned to face her. “Yes,” he paused. “And no. Kathryn, you better sit down. We need to talk.”
She sat down on the couch and watched him begin to pace. “What is it? You look like there’s something troubling you.”
He sighed. “There is. There’s no way to say this easily so I’m just going to say it. I don’t know where we’re headed, Kathryn. I know you had strong feelings for Chakotay and that it was Starfleet that kept you from admitting them all those years. And I know I’m still feeling muddled about my ex-wife.”
“That was quite a number she pulled,” Kathryn commented, now knowing that she had a feeling where Ayala was heading.
“Him too. We both got quite the jolt. Look.” He came and knelt by her feet, taking her hands gently in his. “What I’m trying to say is that I really did enjoy last night, and not just the sex part of it either. I enjoyed being with you. But why don’t we give this a rest for now?” he suggested. “Until we’re both sure where we are.”
For the next few weeks Kathryn paced endlessly. Although she knew that what Ayala had suggested was for the best she still found it difficult to work through. Matters at Starfleet were handled routinely and functionally while at night she slept little. When she did it was to dream of the young man who had managed to work his way into her life. The nights that the insomnia was at its worst she took walks down by the sea wall, remembering the conversation they’d had that night. Finally she came to a conclusion and found that it wasn’t as surprising or shocking as she might have once thought.
And so it was that Ayala answered his door early one morning to find her standing there. She flew into his hallway, looking ecstatic. “You were right about suggesting we break up,” she said breathlessly. “It was the best thing we ever could have done. You know who I’ve not been able to stop thinking about these past few weeks? You. Not my sorry-assed first officer with a lame excuse for a girlfriend, but you.” She turned back to him, grasping his arms. “Its you I’m in love with. Its you I’ve spent the past nights dreaming of. Its you, my archangel.”
He let her fall into his arms. “Oh, Kathryn,” he said softly into her hair. “You don’t know how happy I am to hear you say that. I have really missed you these past few weeks as well.” He leaned back and grasped her shoulders. “Right now, however, it’s three in the morning and I think both of us could do with some more sleep.” He peered into her face. “Or some sleep even. You look like you’ve not slept in days.”
“I haven’t,” she admitted, embarrassed. “You were on my mind continuously.”
He moved a hand down to her wrist. “I’d like to say I’m flattered that you were thinking of me but I’m not if its been detrimental to your health.” Slowly he led her through his apartment to his bedroom and sat her down on the bed. “Come on, let’s get these clothes off you.” He knelt down at her feet and began to pull her boots off.
Kathryn felt more at ease when she woke up the following morning. She looked across at Ayala lying in the bed beside her and felt a great sense of peace fall upon her. They had not made love since her arrival last night but she was not disappointed at the lack of it. Instead she enjoyed just being there with him.
Her days improved immediately. Kathryn took to her work with a renewed sense of keeness, awaiting that time of day when she could leave her office on time to return home to her lover. They divided their time between both of their homes, not wanting to go the extra step at this time. Meanwhile they were aware that Voyager’s refit was nearly complete.
“I don’t report to you,” Ayala reassured her. “I report to Tuvok. And I will continue to report to Tuvok.”
She sighed. “I know I can trust on your observance of Starfleet protocols…”
He took her by the hand and led her to his couch. “I know how important your protocols are, don’t worry. I’ll be honest, if you want to halt the relationship while we’re on Voyager I will completely understand. I told you at the beginning, you will always be my captain when we’re there and I will always respect that. I will never attempt to undermine your authority.” He gently grasped her chin in his hand. “You got that?”
Kathryn nodded, her eyes glistening with tears. “Thank you so much,” she whispered. “You don’t know what that means to me. I don’t want us to end things but at least I know you’ll understand if I have to take a step back from our personal relationship.”
Ayala kissed her lightly. “I love you. Of course I understand.” He gave her a little shove. “Now, why don’t you go wipe those tears away and I’ll see about dinner for us. Okay?”
And so Kathryn found herself in his bathroom, staring at herself in the mirror as she furiously scrubbed her face free of the tearstains that were blotched on her face. “What a mess, Kathryn,” she muttered. “He must really be impressed with you.” She paused in her scrubbing, pulling the cloth away from her face. “He’s more than impressed,” she reprimanded herself. “He’s willing to do anything for you. Better accept it.”
So concentrated on her thoughts was she that she did not hear the sound of someone at the front door. She was only dimly aware of the voices of the two men as she re-entered the living room.
There before her stood her first officer. It was hard to tell just who was the more shocked at their situation. Both stood there, rooted to the spot, staring at the other. Finally Chakotay spoke.
“So this is why you don’t want to go for a drink, Mike,” he forced out. “Its no wonder, I suppose. I’ll leave you two to it.” He turned on his heel and left.
Kathryn cast a despairing look at Ayala. She’d seen the hurt on her friend’s face and knew she had to rectify the situation. Within moments she had slid on her shoes, pulled on a jacket and thrown herself out the front door in pursuit of him.
He strode on, seeming to ignore her calls after him. Finally, on a bluff overlooking the water he paused and turned, as if waiting for her to catch up. “What is it, Kathryn?” he asked.
She swallowed. Right now she sensed that they were on a precarious ledge. One wrong word and either or both of them would tumble over it. “I’m sorry you had to find me there.”
Chakotay shook his head. “No, you’re not. Oh, you’re sorry that I had to find out that way about the two of you,” he hastened on. “But you’re not sorry to have been there. With him. Are you?”
Kathryn looked down. “No,” she said quietly. “I’m not.”
“You’re happy?” She recognised the question as coming from her friend and not from someone with whom she might have had a relationship.
“I am.” She paused. “And you? Are you happy with Seven?”
He turned from her slightly, gazing out across the dark water. “Actually, we broke up. Don’t worry, it was a mutual thing, and I think she’ll still be your astrometrics consultant on Voyager.”
“I am sorry to hear that.”
“Are you?” he asked again.
“Damn it, Chakotay,” she growled. “I would never want to see you hurt. Ever. You’re still my friend. At least I hope you are. Why didn’t you come to me?”
“Then maybe it’s me who should apologise.” He came back to her, placing his hand along her cheek. “I shouldn’t have just disappeared like that.” He took a deep breath. “I went home, to Trebus, to try to sort out some of my thoughts. To decide where to go from here.” He smiled. “It looks like we both made some decisions about our lives.” He took his hand away from her face and stuck it out for her to take. “You still needing a first officer?”
Kathryn nodded.
At last Voyager was ready to go out on assignment again. This time there were to be no deep-space missions. In fact, it was highly expected that she would not be even be sent out of the Alpha Quadrant. For that Kathryn found herself surprisingly grateful. Over the past several months she had developed an appreciation for the ground beneath her feet, and knew that she would never again want to lead a long mission.
She strode out of the turbolift, overjoyed that most of her crew had chosen to return. There were a few notable exceptions on the crew manifest but Chakotay had been working to arrange the schedule so that they would not be missed too much. She valued his counsel and was relieved that she had not had to forego it.
She turned to face her crew and found herself staring at the tactical station. Where she had expected Tuvok to be was now stood Ayala standing tall and proud. She glanced across at Chakotay who merely smiled and shook his head. She was stunned but regained her composure as she returned to her role as captain, addressing her bridge crew directly and the rest of her people over the comm.
“I want to thank you all,” she began in crisp, clear tones. “For being here today. It shows that you are willing to put your faith in Starfleet, in Voyager, and more importantly, to me. I promise this mission will be shorter than the last.” She paused momentarily to listen to the laughter that echoed around the room. “We’ve been through a lot together,” she began again, looking this time across at her first officer. “And I am gratified that we are able to continue on this fantastic journey together. For those of you who are new to our crew, Commander Chakotay and I welcome you, and ask you not to believe the stories you’ve heard about our last little outing.” There was more laughter as Kathryn turned direction and headed down to the helm. “Mister Paris, take us out of here.”
Later, in the privacy of her ready room, she was able to ask her first officer about the sudden change in security.
“I told you I’d take care of the crew manifest for you,” he said, grinning, as he stood before her desk.
“But Tuvok…”
“Opted to retire. Again. Actually, something came up on Vulcan. It seemed best just to promote his second. Tuvok was the one to suggest that Ayala take the position. If this outing goes well Mike could well be in for a promotion when we get back.”
“Mmmm.” Kathryn thought for a moment. “This could be very awkward since he’s now a member of my senior staff. I wish you’d consulted me first.”
“There wasn’t exactly time, and I thought this might be a nice surprise. Don’t worry about protocol. He’ll be reporting to me.” He looked across at the stunned look on his captain’s face. “I did teach tactical at one point if you remember.”
She nodded. “I remember.” The captain stood up and walked around her desk. “Got a moment to talk about non-ship’s business?”
“Sure,” he nodded, following her to the upper level of the room. “What is it? If you are worried about your relationship, there’s no need to be. Come on, you know this crew, protocol is a necessity, not a nicety.”
Kathryn chuckled. “That’s one way to put it.” She sat down on the couch and patted the space next to her. “Actually, I want to talk about you and Mike’s friendship.”
“Oh?” he queried, taking the offered seat.
“The first night he came to see me he was upset. He’d just been to see his kids and then you’d cancelled on him. And not for the first time I gather.”
Chakotay looked slightly embarrassed. “It was a rough time. Seven wasn’t exactly willing to let me out of her sight.” He shook her head. “She has so much more still to learn about life and relationships. I hope she finds someone to do that with.”
“She will.” Kathryn patted his arm consolingly. “And I’m sure you were a great help. But Chakotay, don’t be forgetting your friends. I have an idea.” She smiled. “Why don’t the two of you head over to Sandrine’s tonight. I know for a fact that Tom and Harry made sure the program was left in the database. Have a few drinks, shoot some pool. I’ll handle anything that comes up.”
He looked at her. “Are you sure? I would have thought you’d have wanted to spend the evening together, just the two of you.”
“We’ve had months of that. You, on the other hand, have some serious catching up to do.”
And so that evening Kathryn found herself alone for the first time since she had begun her relationship with Ayala. She curled up in a comfy chair in her quarters and picked up her book, looking forward to a peaceful night in as the ship travelled through a quiet patch of familiar space.
Ten minutes later Seven was at her door, demanding to speak with her about an astrometrics report.
All was normal on the USS Voyager.
FINIS