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Vinesh with one of his many aunties, who
came early to help with the wedding. |
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The aunties decorated all the silver lamps
for the wedding. This is a picture of Vinesh's great aunt polishing a traditional silver
oil lamp. I received one after the wedding that belonged to Vinesh's
grandmother as is the tradition. I now light it in our home to continue the
family tradition. |
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The Indian version of the wedding band
came from the village the day before the wedding. They sat right outside the front
door and made quite a racket late into the evening to let everyone know of the
upcoming wedding. |
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In the late afternoon the wedding crew set
transformed Vinesh's family's house into a wonderland. They erected the red gate,
banana trees, a festive cloth barrier around the whole house, and strings of white and
orange jasmine everywhere. Inside, they constructed a wooden platform and made a
canopy of jasmine. It smelled heavenly! This photo was taken after the wedding. |
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The afternoon before the wedding, I went
to the home of some mehendi artists to get my hands and feet decorated. |
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Here is a close-up of them putting the
henna paste on. It dries to a hard crust, then is scrapped off some hours later. Oil and
mentholatum are applied to make the color come out overnight. |
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Tradition says that the brigher the henna
comes out, the more the husband loves her. My husband must love me a whole lot! |
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Here is a close-up of my feet. It's a
shame that this only lasts about 10 days. |
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The wedding began long before the sun
comes up. While Vinesh and I were getting ready, the ceremonies had already
begun. The musicians woke up the neighborhood and the birds soon joined in to make a
very festive atmosphere. Here, the married ladies of the family (and the priest) are
doing puja to the plantain tree. Even after the trunk is cut down, the roots of this tree
will spring up to form new trees. This tree represents the strength of family and is tied
to the post of the wedding canopy. |
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Vinesh washed his parents' feet to show
respect for them. He adorned their feet with milk, honey, sandalwood paste, gold coins,
and the sacred flame, much like it is done in temples to the deities. Indian
children are taught at a young age to respect adults. They are taught to touch their
elders' feet as a sign of respect. Then Amma and Appa tossed unbroken rice over his
head to represent prosperity and wealth. |
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While I was being dressed upstairs,
Vinesh played part in a traditional drama. He symbolically became angry at me and
walked outside the gates. He was followed by his cousin Siddarth, who calmed him by
washing his feet and adorning them with the sacred elements. In this way, Vinesh
released all his anger towards me and will never again walk away from me in anger.
Siddarth's role is often played by a younger brother. I was sorry to miss this part! |
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Siddarth then held an umbrella over Vinesh
to show that he's going on a journey. Note that it is still so early the sun has not risen
yet! |
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As the sun rose, I
was led downstairs to sit next to Vinesh under the marriage platform. Some married
women in the family passed the flame in front of us clockwise three times in a wide circle
for blessing and protection. |
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Vinesh and I offered flowers and rice. |
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While the I held a coconut in a tray
of unbroken rice, Vinesh tied a saffron cord around my wrist to accept me as part of his
family and to offer protection and support. |
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Neville (the one sitting on the stool) was
acting as my older brother for the wedding since I don't have one. He passed the
coconut to me, then I passed it to Vinesh, and then the Vinesh passed it back to Neville
(our future brother in law). Thus, Vinesh entered my family circle. Then Vinesh gave a
ring to his new brother to show his loyalty. |
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At the most joyous part of
the ceremony, the Vinesh secured the wedding pendant around my neck while family members
sprinkled rice. The wedding pendant is secured on a saffron cord with three knots. Earlier
in the ceremony, it was tied to a coconut and the guests were invited to pass their hands
over it as a sign of their blessing and good wishes. Then we exchanted garlands to
show our mutual respect and adoration for each other. |
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Vinesh lead me
around the fire three times in procession with several unmarried ladies. On the
third time around, I placed my foot on a flat stone and Vinesh placed silver toe rings on
my feet. This tender act demonstrates the groom's great respect for his wife.
These toe rings remain on the feet for life and are reserved for married women.
A funny note about this picture: the toe rings
were a little small and someone had to get some pliers to make them fit! Despite the
humorous occasion, the photo turned out well! |
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Vinesh and I played a game of compromise.
Normally done in a vessel with a small opening, a ring is tossed into the vessel of water.
We both reached for it but soon learned that if we both try to grab it at the same time,
neither us could pull it from the vessel. |
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Guests came to express their best wishes
for our new life together. They gave money and silver and shook our hands. As we left the
marriage canopy, older couples asked to bless our marriage. We knelt down at their
feet in respect. |
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This cord was obtained on an auspicious
day before the wedding. It is traditionally worn for three months and then replaced with a
gold chain. I changed mine over after three days due to time restraints. We
sat in the family's shrine room and carefully changed the chain over without removing the
thali from my neck. I wear my wedding pendant all the time and
will continue do so as long as Vinesh is by my side in this life. It is a symbol of his
family and community and I am honored to wear it. |
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This is a close-up of my wedding
pendant. The central pendant is the one that was given on my wedding day. It
represents Vinesh's community. Wedding pendants come in many shapes and
varieties. The two gold beads are given, one by the bride's family and one by the
groom's, to show the coming together of a new family. The thick gold chain is of a
style that is immediately recognized as a wedding necklace, even if the rest it is tucked
inside my clothing. The coral Ganesha and the gold mango are decorations that were put on
later. It is customary for the husband to buy charms for his wife's wedding necklace
as symbols of important events in their lives. |
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Three days after the
wedding, we had a reception. I think that everyone that Vinesh and his family had
ever known were invited! We lit the lamp at the beginning of the reception and then
stood to receive guests. We had to sit in these chairs like royalty and felt rather
foolish about the whole thing. The white flowers behind us were strings of real
jasmine. They smelled heavenly! Finally we posed for photos with every single
guest. By then end of the evening our smile muscles were aching! Here is a
nice photo of the whole family. |