Happiness is a Warm Gun

(Party's bar.  A random assortment of OnePiece characters are trapped with in a twisted garden of the author's depraved makings.  Vivi and Sanji have just returned from doing 'something' in the kitchen.)

Vivi:  It sucks that you were hit with that sudden sneezing attack.

Sanji:  There must be something in the air.

Vivi: Maybe you're allergic.

Sanji:  To what?

Vivi:  The latex.

(There's a tortured wail in the background from Zoro.)

Sanji:  Well, I can't help that.  What else am I going to use?

Vivi:  You don't have to use latex gloves.  They have nitrile, too.  Same level of germ protection when you prepare food. 

Sanji:  Oh yeah?  But I hate that powdery crap they put inside.

Vivi:  You can order them without.

(Vivi and Sanji are discussing the relative merits of rubber gloves when Makino x Ben emerge)

Makino (sighing): Sugoi…

(Shanks cannot help but notice this and gives Ben a totally surprised and hurt look.  Ben shrugs.)

Makino: (oblivious to what is going on): Ben, that was so much fun!  My life was incomplete until I held your warm gun in my trembling hands.

(Everyone within hearing range turns beet red.  Massive teardrops ensue.)

Ben (smug): They do say that's what happiness is.

Shanks:  Ben?

Ben:  Don't 'Ben' me.  You won't touch it.

Shanks:  Well, it's dirty.

Ben:  I clean it every day!

Shanks:  Doesn't matter.  I still get crap all over my hands.

Makino:  It's not that bad, Shanks.  You just wash afterwards.  What's the big deal?

Ben (smirking):  He's frightened of its size.

Shanks (bristling): I've seen way bigger.

Ben:  Oh yeah?  Where?

Nami (screams painfully from behind the bar.  Not even a bottle of tequila has stunted her mind enough to survive the innuendo): By the gods, this has gone too far!  Too far, I say!

Trailer: Will Sanji determine if his allergy is latex-related?  Will Luffy notice that no one is paying attention to him?  Will Nami survive the innuendoes?  Will the spamfic ever get a point?  Does anyone care?

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Terms Explained:
The title - from 'Happiness is a Warm Gun' by the Beatles.
Nitrile gloves are better for people are allergy prone.  Even if you don't have a latex allergy at the present, it is possible to develop one in the future.  Nitrile gloves are comfortable and come in many colors.  They also come without the powdery crap inside.