Leave Him Alone, Nami-san!

(Party's bar.  Shanks has washed his hands of the still tied up Luffy but Zoro demands a fight of some kind anyway.  Ben may have sold his soul for another drink.  Vivi is still unconscious and Sangie and Nami are still in the kitchen doing heavens knows what.)

Luffy:  Some help here.  Please.

(Vivi sits up, holding her head.)

Vivi:  What the - Who the hell did that?  (The blue haired Fury glares at everyone and everyone conveniently looks somewhere else.  Her eyes lit upon the one closest to her.)  Usopp?

Usopp:  It was Zoro.

Zoro:  You liar!

(Vivi leaps to her feet, a mite unsteadily, and throws herself at Zoro. During the ensuing chaos, Usopp cheerfully unties Luffy, who immediately glomps on Shanks, ruining his get away.  Luffy sobs into his mentor's shirt.)

Shanks (glaring at the ceiling): You're making me feel guilty, aren't you?

[(gushes happily): Luffy/Shanks bonding moment!]

Makino (watching tableaux, sourly): So close.

Luffy:  I'll never make you unhappy again!  Just don't LEAVE me!

Shanks:  Of course I won't leave you.  (under his breath)  This is pathetic.  What kind of pirate am I?

(Suddenly Sanji bursts from the kitchen, squealing in the upper registers of dolphin speak and running for his life.  He jumps over the fighting cloud that is Vivi and Zoro and leaps under a table.)

Sanji:  Leave me alone, Nami-san!

(This statement causes everyone to stop in his or her tracks, as it goes against the very fabric of the One Piece universe.)

Trailer: What happened in the kitchen?  Where's Ben? Does Luffy have issues with abandonment?
Hey, Zoro, is your hand on Vivi's ass?
Vivi: What the!  Chikan! (punches Zoro in the face.)
Did Vivi break Zoro's fine nose?  Are you sure the world is not enough?  Does anyone care?

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Terms Explained:
Chikan!  It's the cry uttered by office ladies and high school girls as they ride the subway to work.  Perhaps a bloody nose is a bit extreme…nope, a bloody nose is perfectly reasonable. Zoro and blood is sexy anyway.