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He's Alive!
(Party's Bar. The stock is beginning to grow sparse, yet the Sorority Girls, through countless nights of practice at Wright State, are still speaking and acting coherently.)
Sorority Girl Gray (looks at Moss Green): Are you sure?
Sorority Girl Moss Green: About what?
Sorority Girl Gray: About anime women with green hair. Makino seems kind of mentally ill.
Sorority Girl Sepia: What are you talking about?
Sorority Girl Gray: Her green hair. You haven't noticed?
Sorority Girl Salmon Pink: Makino doesn't have green hair.
Sorority Girl Gray: Like hell she doesn't! Look! (whips out her First Battle Adventure One Piece sticker cards) On card 88, it shows she had green hair.
(The Sorority Girls gather around her.)
Sorority Girl Salmon Pink (glazed look): Shanks…
Sorority Girl Sepia (equally glazed look): Ben…
Sorority Girl Gray: Don't drool on my card, fan girls! But see, here. (points at Makino who, in the picture, definitely has dark green hair. Smiles triumphantly) Green hair! Am I right or am I right?
F.O.Z. Girl: The author isn't using the anime. Makino has black hair here, as in the first splash pages of One Piece, as shown in Colorwalk.
Sorority Girl Gray (deflating): Oh. Never mind.
Sorority Girl Sepia: Makino does seem evil though.
F.O.Z. Girl: That's easy enough to explain. It's because she's in that awkward 'anime woman' stage. She's too old to be the kawaii magic girl and too young to be the all-knowing baa-san. This means she has no choice but to be the evil villianess.
Sorority Girl Moss Green: Misato wasn't an evil villainess.
F.O.Z. Girl: That's Evangelion, though. Nothing makes sense in Evangelion.
(Everyone agrees with this.)
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(Ohtori Academy. In the Science Club Room. Sanji is strapped down to the dissection table [because the author does so like to see Sanji strapped down], while the Ohtori Science Club members mill about in an attempt to determine what he is.)
Science Club President (into a small tape recorder): Our subject is currently unconscious. We have determined that he is indeed a) human and b) male. He may be part of a new homo genus as there appear to be no records of a human male that quite fit this description -
Science Club Vice President: No wait! I believe I found something in the Human Anatomical Atlas! It may be that this specimen is French!
Science Club Lackeys (in unison): French!
Science Club President: Mon Dieu! Impossibl¾!
Science Club Vice President: No! It is quite possible, I assure you! Look at the handy criteria listed at the beginning of the scientific article. 1) Smells of two day old cigarettes -
Science Club Lackey #7: Check.
(Sanji groans softly)
Science Club Lackey # 98: Sir, should we tranquilize him again?
Science Club President: No. We gave him enough to knock out a small pod of killer whales.
Science Club Vice President: 2) Dresses well.
Science Club Lackey #19: Check.
(Sanji moans softly. His one eye flutters.)
Science Club Lackey #98: Sir…
Science Club President: Shut up! I'm listening to important scientific findings.
Science Club Vice President: And 3) Is Skinny as a Concentration Camper!
Science Club Lackey #34: Check.
Science Club President: That isn't very PC.
Science Club Vice President: Sometimes the truth isn't pretty, sir.
Science Club President: So we've determined almost conclusively that the subject is French!
Sanji: I AM NOT FRENCH!
(The Science Club Members scream in unison. The lights go out…dramatically.)
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Random Quote Analysis:
"The last thing that goes through your mind is a DEATH BRUSHER FIREBALL which rips through your skull, spewing it's contents on the corridor wall, ceiling and floor!" - Pete Skipowsky, GM, KODT.
Zoro: …….
Sanji (smirking): I like this quote. It's 'feisty.'
Zoro: More like psychotic. (pause) Oh, you like Nami. I forgot.
(Insert fight here.)
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Terms Explained
Yup, it's all straightforward here.
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