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IT'S ALMOST OVER


In the Vortex

Zoro: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vivi (patting Zoro on the back): There, there, Mr. Bushido.  It's all over.

Zoro (pushes Vivi off and starts swimming through the part of the vortex they just floated through): We have to go back!

Sanji: No way!  I'm not doing yaoi again!

Shanks (patiently): Zoro, she was a vampire.

Zoro: But she was ALIVE!

Ben: Vampires are dead, Zoro.

Zoro: But she wasn't dead-dead!  She was un-dead.

Nami (patiently): Zoro, it was a universe inhabited by demons and monsters.  We would have spent all our time dealing with death and the personal problems of young adults.  It would have been a life of unending angst punctuated with amazingly adroit humor.

(Zoro blinks.)

Zoro: Kuina was an undead BABE!

Luffy: I never thought Zoro was into the Goth scene…

Vivi (disgusted): Please. That was so Hot Topic 'New' Goth, it made me want to retch.

Nami: When did you become such a sub-culture expert?

Vivi: Pell.

Nami: Oh.

Vivi (proudly): He's met Robert Smith.

Ussop: Guys? Are librarians cooler than Zoro?

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Random Quote Analysis

"Did anyone ever tell you you're kind of a sexy fuddy duddy?" - Jennie to Giles

Kohza: Vivi called me that once.
Mihawk: Really?
Kohza: Yeah. But then she laughed. And sold me out to the Author. (pauses) Thanks to that last alternate universe, Zoro's raging hormones and necrophiliac tendencies have helped me overcome any lingering feelings I might have for her. That means…
Mihawk: What?
Kohza: Nothing stands in the way of me taking over Alabasta. To rule as KING.
(Kohza's eyeglasses flash ominously.)
Mihawk: You remind me of a guy I met once in East Blue. (ponders something) Hey, you know how the description in the last universe constantly referred to my scary eyes?
Kohza (writing stuff down for his Plan to Take over Alabasta: Part 2): Um hum.
Mihawk: Do I really have scary eyes?
Kohza: Yes.
Mihawk: Still?
Kohza: What do you mean 'still'?
Mihawk: Shanks said the cape would draw attention away from my eyes and towards my facial hair.
Kohza: How shall I put this? Your cape is the brightly lit star at the top of the scary Nightmare Before Christmas Tree called Hawk Eye Mihawk.
(Mihawk is shocked. In the RQA space.)
Mihawk: SHANKS IS DEAD!

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Things Explained
My theories on Pell and Goth are explained elsewhere.