(It's another hectic night in the D.E R. (Drum Emergency Room.) A moaning writhing Zoro on a guerny is pushed through the doors. He's lost a lot of blood and is losing much more.

After reading that description, a certain type of fangirl is also losing a bit of blood too.)

Isshie 20 #15: This is beyond my skill level! We need an expert!

Isshie 20 #4: There's only one person who can deal with this!

Isshie 20 #10: I'll page him now.

(Camera moves to the hallway and its double doors. Jerky pan shot goes to knee-level and the doors swing open.)

Chopper: I came as soon as I could. (puts on his scrubs) Nurses! Assist me!

(Nami and Vivi, dressed in the official Grandline Nursing uniform of a short nurse dress and thigh high nursing boots, step forward. Nami puts a small step stool down for him and Chopper approaches the patient.)

Chopper: This one again? It looks like he lost a fight with a weed wacker!

Nami: He was trying to best one of the gang lords downtown.

Chopper (speaking loudly to the barely coherent Zoro): Mr. Roronoa, can you hear me? You're going to be all right. Nurses, remove his clothes.  Er, the shreds of what's left of his clothes that is.

(To the great disappointment of the fangirls, Nami and Vivi shut the curtain around Zoro's bed.  Chopper walks off to find more vic - patients.)

Chopper: Oh. Dr. Ben-ton.

Ben-ton: Toni. Excuse me. I'm in a rush.

Chopper: How's that new intern of yours?

Ben-ton: Hopeless. (Cut to Luffy, who's picking his nose.) Hey, Toni, keep an eye out for Kureha. She's on the warpath tonight.

(But there's no time to pause in the D.E.R.! A new batch of "desperately in need of repair" boys are wheeled into the emergency room.)

Paramedic: They were caught in a power surge, Dr. Chopper!

(Cut to the extra crispy style Sanji and Usopp.)   

Chopper: Get him into Examining Room 10.  Nurse Vivi, Nurse Nami!

Paramedic Usopp: No! No nurses!

(Nurse Nami and Nurse Vivi lean over the patient. Blood erupts like a fire hydrant. They shriek and back away.)

Chopper: Whole blood! I need bags of it.

(Chopper works feverishly on the electrocuted, nose-gushing Sanji. Doctors, nurses, orderlies, and interns crowd around to see a master at work. Sometime later…)

Chopper: This one will be all right.

(There is a huge sigh of relief from the crowd and then cheers and applause. But this is the D.E.R and there is no rest for the medical staff.)

Nami: Dr. Chopper. We have another patient for you to see.

Chopper: I hope it's an easy case.

Nami: It's one you are very familiar with. (She points to the waiting room. Hobo Shanks wretches discretely behind a plastic waiting room chair.)

Chopper: This is a very sad case. His alcoholism leads me only to pity him. Nurses!  (Nami and Vivi appear.  Shanks appears to get a glimmer of interest in his eyes.) DE-TOX!

(Nami and Vivi grip Hobo Shanks firmly by the shoulder and lead him to a room.  They throw him in then lock the door behind them. Nami sets her watch.)

Nami: How long, doctor?

Chopper: For him. Thirty minutes.

Vivi (in shock): But doctor!

Chopper: Thirty minutes, nurse!

(Chopper's eyes alight on Zoro.)

Chopper: Him too. He'll learn that fighting is wrong.

(Chopper eyes Sanji, who's still doing a really good job at impersonating a KFC extra value meal.)

Chopper: And throw that one in there as well.

Vivi: But he didn't do anything!

Chopper: Don't question me! (thinking) He had dirty thoughts about my nurses. Only I'm allowed to do that.

Vivi: But Dr. Toni…

Nami (darkly): Toni?

Chopper (severely): Nurse Vivi, I told you not to call me that during working hours.

Nami: Or after hours either, you doctor stealing piece of trash. (grabs Chopper and squeezes him protectively against her chest) This is my man.

Vivi: I beg to differ!

Chopper (struggling, but somehow managing to bury his face further into Nami's bosoms): Let go of me! I'm trying to save lives here! Hey intern, get those men into Detox!

(Luffy stops picking his nose for a brief moment and wheels both Sanji and Zoro's gurney into the Detox room.)

Voice: DR. CHOPPER WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

Chopper: Uh oh.

(Nami drops Chopper and tackles Vivi.)

Kureha (sweeping into the D. E. R.): I am NOT happy.

(The staff cowers before her awesome might. Only Chopper remains on his feet. Er. Hooves.)

Kureha: HMOs do not pay for your Detox treatment. It's too experimental!

Chopper: It works, doesn't it?

Kureha: But the hospital doesn't get paid for it.

Chopper: Think beyond the budget and about our patients! We had a duty to them!

Kureha: And does your duty extend to dating every nurse in the hospital?

(She points at Nami and Vivi who are now wrestling on the floor, much to the happiness of every male in the area.)

Chopper: First my skills as a doctor and now my personal life. Anything else you want to pick at today, Dr. Kureha?.

(Kureha's eyes narrow.)

Kureha: You. Have. A.. Blue. Nose.

(Chopper's lower lip twitches. He bursts into tears and - )

=====================
(The random quote will not be analyzed since  the RQA Space is in the midst of getting a serious face-lift. It looks like a tornado hit it - a tornado powered by nuclear weapons and smart computers.)
Kohza: Nojiko put up quite a fight. I didn't know women could stock that much firepower in hammerspace.
[Well the smart girls realize that automatic weapons and large hammers are about the same size.]
Kohza: That was really clever, mentioning you would napalm her orange grove if she didn't behave.
[Thanks.]
Kohza: Oh wait. I meant EVIL.
[Thanks.]
(There is a loud sigh from the Author.)
Kohza: What's your problem?
[While Nojiko had to be sent away since she was planning on taking over my territory, it's still sad. No more talking about tattoos.]
Kohza: No more karaoke.
[No more common ground.]
Kohza: Even no more karaoke.
[(sobs): And no more karaoke!]
Kohza: Wow. I didn't know it bothered you that much. Now that I know how much pain this is causing you…
[(sniffles) What?]
Kohza: I'll cheer that much harder.
[(blows her nose) I think your new partner likes karaoke though.]
Kohza (gulps): New partner?
New RQA partner: Hello.

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Things Explained
I haven't seen ER in ages. I guess Chopper is modeled off my very ancient memories of when Dr. Doug was pediatrician. Ben-ton. *snerk*