|
Epiphinical Circumstances
(Amsterdam. A caf・bar. The Luffy Pirate Crew and Company are there under epiphinical circumstances.)
Vivi: Epiphinical isn't even a word.
(Being how this is an Amsterdam that exists only in the Smut Garden, certain words, like epiphinical, which may not exist in other dimensions, are valid and proper and used liberally. The epiphinical circumstances, which brought them here, has led to a certain tableaux. Vivi and Sanji are sampling the vegetable product indigenous to the local greenhouses. Zoro, Usopp, and Nami are partaking of suspicious pizza, which was brought by the Dutch pizza delivery guy, who appears to like Ben in a major way. Luffy is the translator. Poor Shanks is pouting. Makino is missing.)
Shanks (muttering): And I'm the cute one・lt;br>
Luffy (still translating): 'after which I will massage the tightness out of your -' Why don't you two find a room and let me eat?
Ben (staring deep into the Nordic beauty's eyes): Keep going.
Luffy: But -
(Reaching around the Dutch pizza guy, Ben grips Luffy around the throat.)
Ben: I said keep talking.
Luffy: Ack・and the oils'・ough・lease let me go.
(Nami, Usopp, and Zoro begin to blink very, very, very, very, very, slowly.)
Sanji: Aren't you hungry, Shanks?
Shanks (petulantly): No. I don't want any.
(At the sound of Shanks' voice, Nami turns her head very slowly.)
Nami: Touga?
Shanks (confused): Are you talking to me?
(Usopp is examining his belly button. He is very involved. Zoro waves his hand in front of his face.)
Zoro: Wicked.
(Nami, very carefully, moves from her seat and slow motion glomps on Shanks.)
Nami (sighs happily): Touga.
Shanks: Nami? Are you alright?
(Sanji and Vivi get the giggle fits. Vivi takes another hit, while Sanji puffs away on his 'cigarette.')
Shanks: What the hell did you do to them?
Sanji: (He picks up a piece of pizza and titters.) 'Shrooms.
Nami: I love you, Touga.
Shanks: Goddamit! I'm not Touga. Who the heck is he?
Voice: If she wishes to see Touga, I'm sure I can arrange it.
===============
Random Quote Analysis:
I believe in that girl. I believe in her goodness. I believe in her darkness. And I believe she's the devil bitch. - Tori Amos, Waitress (Live)
Zoro (dryly): Look, a quote about Nami.
Vivi: That's not very nice.
Zoro: Nami's not very nice. She pushed me down a hill covered in lard. She kicked my swords! She stole our boat and abandoned us in a crisis! She -
Vivi: Freed you at Arlong Park, stabbed herself to save Usopp; Nami's done some good things. And Tori ends the song with, "I believe in peace."
Zoro: Bitch.
Vivi: WHAT?
Zoro: Not you. Tori ends the song with, 'I believe in peace, bitch.' Yet more proof that it is about Nami.
Vivi: You're a very bitter man.
Zoro: She kicked my swords! Kicked them! Don't you understand?
Vivi: (sighs) Of course, Mr. Bushido.
next
smut
home
===============
Terms Explained
Epiphinical isn't a word.
The author has no experience on whether 'shrooms retain their potent effects after being cooked. Makes a funny story though.
|
|
