What, indeed.
Hi, this is Spectro, the cute one. Today we are going to dig into a topic that Transfans have been discussing for twenty years. For our first installment we shall unlock the mystery behind these two popular Decepticons and find out what their secret is.
From Day One the discussions ran rampant: They were friends, they were lovers. No one has truly learned of the their relationship until now, and Reflector is here to say: THEY WERE BOOTKNOCKIN' SLUTS IN PERPETUAL HEAT!
That's right. The Leader of all the Decepticons and his Second-In-Command have been locked at the crotchplate ever since the beginning. We don't know what it was that brought those two together but it did, with explosive results.
"Starscream and Megatron were always doing it" My source referred to as "Moundwave" (to protect his identity) recalled. "When we were on the set getting ready to shoot a scene with one or the other in it, we always had to wait at least 20 minutes because they were fucking. One time the director sent one of my kids to go get Starscream, he opened his trailer door and there was Megatron pumping that cheap slut like no tomorrow. My poor kid needed 5 years of therapy for that." Moundwave remembers with rising anger.
"It wasn’t just in the dressing rooms, either." Another source, "Blundersmacker" revealed. "When there was a scene with the two of them in it the sexual tension was so thick you couldn't pierce it with a laser."
"We were rehearsing the scene in 'Roll For It' when we were getting ready to attack Autobot Heaquarters and Megatron ran his hand down Starscream's arm. What happened afterward was that Starscream go so horny he tackled Megatron right then and there and they screwed like a bunch of petro-rabbits right there in front of everybody! Primus, were we pissed off at them! Which was all the time. You would not believe how many hours was wasted because those two couldn't keep it in their codpieces."
Remember this classic screen cap? There was a lot of rumor abuzz about Megatron and Starscream when this pic came out. At first the Hasbro execs said this was cut from a scene out of context, Megatron had been hit by some kind of blast and had fallen to his knees; Starscream was just there at the time. What we found out was that they were going at it in this pic but was censored by the Hasbro execs. Many pictures of Starscream and Megatron had so much sexual content they had to be edited or eliminated.
THIS is the true unaltered picture.
Given the great sex, it was not enough to keep the relationship together. The fighting was frequent, the affairs were rampant.
"I admit, I slept with Megatron when he and Starscream were having one of their domestic squabbles," my source known as "Vomitous Slime" would admit. "He had the biggest gun I ever saw, and holy shit, he knew what he was doing! However, he would not take no for an answer."
When shown the above pic, Vomitous' composure began to waver. "He wanted me to do him this one time while Starscream was watching, they had just had a huge fight. I couldn't, I was going through an awful time with my wife leaving me and suing me for divorce. Megatron only wanted…he took me…against my will…"
After that Vomitous broke down and could no longer continue.
Starscream was just as hurtful.
"I was in a very irrational, inebriated state when I had my fling with Starscream," an informant who we'll call "WOO WOO WOO WOO" confessed to us. "He seduced me with promises of power and conquest. I found out later that he was just trying to satiate his perverted appetite for sex."
"By the end of the second season everyone was fed up," Moundwave recalled. "We were making the movie at the time and the execs wanted them out. That is why Starscream died and Megatron became Galvatron. If they hadn't spent all that time fucking they would've had jobs in the third season. Well, Starscream kept his for a while but with Megatron gone it was actually very pleasant."
In two short years this couple had wrecked so many lives and ruined the reputation of a respected toy company. Perhaps the words of Starscream's ex-lover "Assfire" sums it up best:
"Primus love him, I know I did, but Starscream was just a huge, filthy slut."
And that's the way it is.
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