Aug 2000 |
Causes of the Chem Major Mortality Rate |
| 10. |
Just found out
it's prohibited to manufacture your own drugs or explosives |
| 9. |
Couldn't wait
for computer engineering any longer |
| 8. |
Wanted to take
summer vacations and still graduate in four years |
| 7. |
Home organization
made it sound painful to be a chem major |
| 6. |
Just couldn't
handle not having a social life |
| 5. |
Took a course
in Marriage, Family and Vocation; it's all downhill from there |
| 4. |
Very few
romantic prospects |
| 3. |
Wanted to
remain sane during the transition into adulthood |
| 2. |
Chemistry just
didn't matter anymore |
| 1. |
One word:
Enlightenment |
July 2000 |
Write-up
entries chem major seniors would like to see last in Ęgis |
| 10. |
"She has
lab gowns to match the color of her reagents." |
| 9. |
"Do you
know all those blotches on the ceiling? ...never saw someone who could sleep while doing a
reflux." |
| 8. |
"He
actually preferred NOT to use the fume hoods." |
| 7. |
"...and we
all thought glacial acetic acid could not be ingested!" |
| 6. |
"His
homicidal tendencies and short temper never did stop him from doing a thesis dealing with
nitrates." |
| 5. |
"She spent
so much time with radioactive chemicals that she glows fluorescent green when she's
exposed to UV light." |
| 4. |
"She
didn't seem to mind paying PhP 5,000+ for lab breakage." |
| 3. |
"He's
always liked fire." |
| 2. |
"...I
remember when it took ten of us to pry her off the NMR with a crowbar." |
| 1. |
"He's a
blockmate?!?" |
June 2000 |
Things to look forward to the first sem |
| 10. |
The new IDs? |
| 9. |
Maybe the cute
teachers will teach this sem |
| 8. |
Nothing--after
more than ten years in school, don't you think you would be fed up of studying by now? |
| 7. |
New car
stickers |
| 6. |
Fifteen more,
oh-so fun, happy-happy, joy-joy units of fun-filled, endless, enjoyable schoolwork! |
| 5. |
Freshmen to
taunt, scare and make fun of |
| 4. |
Seeing
non-science majors again |
| 3. |
Getting held up
in the morning by traffic--and you walk to school |
| 2. |
As if five
years were not enough, we're finally getting rid of the superseniors! |
| 1. |
Five months
that I have paid for more than PhP 30,000 just to deprive me of sleep, a social life,
self-confidence and sanity |
May
2000 |
Signs that it is too hot
this summer |
| 10. |
Bunsen burners, heating
mantles and ovens in the labs are rendered unnecessary |
| 9. |
Electricians don't use their
soldering irons anymore |
| 8. |
Meron lagoon becomes
a swimming hole |
| 7. |
Children play with asphalt
instead of modeling clay |
| 6. |
Wet ice sublimes |
| 5. |
You lose half of your
weight in water when you walk under the sun |
| 4. |
Flatulent people burst into
flames |
| 3. |
Meals served in the caf are actually
warm |
| 2. |
Escaler Hall is hot |
| 1. |
The chem building becomes
smellier than usual because of the volatized chemicals |
April
2000 |
Fun Things to Say Now
that the Sem's Over |
| 10. |
"That's it?" |
| 9. |
"HUBAW-HUHUBAW-HUHUBAW!" |
| 8. |
"Vacation? It's been so
long; I can't even remember..." |
| 7. |
"Ha, ha! You'll have to
kill me first before I move out of chem!!!" |
| 6. |
"Is it safe to come out
now?" |
| 5. |
"Wow, I never knew a
human being could go on for five months without sleep." |
| 4. |
"No--must--finish--experiment." |
| 3. |
"Relaxation? What's that?
Nakakain ba 'yun?" |
| 2. |
"Does my insurance cover
this?" |
| 1. |
"Life is pointless." |
Mar
2000 |
Responses to Seminar
Questions |
| 10. |
"I didn't say 'Simon says
ask questions....'" |
| 9. |
"You're the doctor, you
figure it out." |
| 8. |
"And now, I will answer
your question with a (brings out guitar) song." |
| 7. |
"That's a
question?!?" |
| 6. |
"Why not?" |
| 5. |
"I'm not sure; you'll
just have to take my word for it." |
| 4. |
"That's not even worth my
time so I won't answer it." |
| 3. |
"I invoke my right to
remain silent." |
| 2. |
"The answer's too
abstract; I'll just use my telephatic powers to tell you the answer." |
| 1. |
"I can answer your
question but you have to realize that if I do, I will have to kill you." |
Feb
2000 |
Rejected Seminar Topics |
| 10. |
IR spectral studies of Group I
ionic compounds |
| 9. |
The many industrial
applications of polymers |
| 8. |
Establishing molecular order
in amorphous silica-based compounds |
| 7. |
Kinetic studies of
non-spontaneous reactions |
| 6. |
UV-VIS spectra of
non-coordination and non-transition metal compounds |
| 5. |
A complete chemical analysis
of lambanog for properties that may have it serve as a replacement for fuel in
ordinary gasoline engines |
| 4. |
Steric hindrance in aliphatic
carbon compounds |
| 3. |
The wonderful world of
linoleum |
| 2. |
Geometry in molecules |
| 1. |
Chemicals: syntheses and
properties |
Jan
2000 |
Reasons why the chem
building was renovated |
| 10. |
Trip lang. |
| 9. |
What? Can't
chemists enjoy a fresh look for their building every once in a while?!? |
| 8. |
They're trying to
spend the extra money they made, thanks to accident-prone chem lab students. |
| 7. |
When the time
comes, the chem building will turn into a giant robot manned by selected faculty members
and students to protect mankind from evil space aliens who want to take over the earth. |
| 6. |
The beings from
the other side of the portal started complaining. |
| 5. |
It's in
preparation for the planned radioactivity lab that the chem department, in conjunction
with the physics department, needs for their nuclear weapons--err, nuclear
energy--research. |
| 4. |
The fumes are
making the wallpaper peel...wait there is no wallpaper. |
| 3. |
The PIPAC people
were picking on the chem building regulars and the locals have had enough. |
| 2. |
Phychem students
have banged their heads against the walls enough times already. |
| 1. |
The
administration finally approved the budget because they were afraid that the chem teachers
may not be bluffing this time. |
Dec
1999 |
Misconceptions about the
chem building |
| 10. |
There are absolutely no rats,
roaches and other pests in it. |
| 9. |
The second floor is used as a
girl/boy watching deck. |
| 8. |
Chem majors are plotting, not
only graphs, but also to take over the world. |
| 7. |
The air there drives people
nuts. |
| 6. |
It's not actually there,
people just think it is. |
| 5. |
There's an interdimensional
gateway in one of the labs. |
| 4. |
Students sniff the reagents to
get a high. |
| 3. |
They house biochemical weapons
there. |
| 2. |
The faculty are actually CIA
operatives. |
| 1. |
The occupants glow in the
dark. |
Aug
2000 |
Songs most applicable to
chem majors |
| 10. |
"It's All Been Done" (Barenaked Ladies) on
seminars, projects and theses |
| 9. |
"Alapaap" (Eraserheads) on
toluene |
| 8. |
"3 AM" (Matchbox 20) on chem graduate
students |
| 7. |
"Sakyan" (Sandwich) on doing overtime
phychem lab |
| 6. |
"Barely Breathing" (Duncan Shiek) on
handling stuff involving poisonous fumes |
| 5. |
"No Scrubs" (TLC) on washing glassware in
quanti lab |
| 4. |
"I'll Still Be Laughing" (Soul Asylum) on N2O |
| 3. |
"I Will Survive" (Gloria Gaynor) on being a
chem major |
| 2. |
"Star" (Razorback) on inhaling ether |
| 1. |
"Why Don't You Get a Job?" (The Offspring)
on fresh chem graduates |
